


Bad Reputation

by StarRose



Category: J2 - Fandom, Supernatural RPF
Genre: AU, LONG!FIC!, M/M, OH the sex!!!, add in some drama and a bit of angst and mystery, and then the sex, bottom!Jared, happy ending!, slow burn to start, so much romance you'll be grinning to yourself like a crazy person, top!Jensen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:00:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 62,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29291757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarRose/pseuds/StarRose
Summary: Jared Padalecki: A-list Hollywood movie star, rich, charmingly charismatic, sweetheart of the industry, Vogue’s Sexiest Man Alive 2 years in a row, wanted by all producers and all gold diggers alike with his fans in the millions. So how had lowly car mechanic Jensen now got Jared’s phone number written on the back of his hand, his chevy impala in his garage, and a promise of dinner, Jensen didn’t the fuck know! Now there’s paparazzi at his door and Jared turning up in the middle of the night in tears, what has Jensen got himself involved in?
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, j2 - Relationship
Comments: 199
Kudos: 192





	1. “…what the fuck just happened?!”

**Author's Note:**

> A BIG thank you to carriganrose on tumblr for giving me the confidence to actually write this long story.

The flashing of hundreds of cameras showered over the swelling crowd, each briefly lighting up the hundreds of ecstatically excited faces. The paparazzi were doing everything they could think of to get his attention, shouting questions screaming out his name, calling him insults, anything to get a reaction that could get their photo on the front page. His fans were shrieking at him from behind red rope barriers, the noise incredible, uniformed bodyguards manning the ropes at intervals down the red carpet. 

They had their job cut out for them, for the second Jared Padalecki had stepped smoothly out of his black limousine the crowd had heaved against them, waving their photos and magazines for him to sign, screaming how much they loved him.

The screams only got louder when Jared removed his reflective sunglasses, letting his fans see what they’d dubbed as his kaleidoscope eyes, ones that any high-definition photo proved was impossible to actually ascertain his eye colour as they seemed to have all the colours all at once. With his long, cinnamon brown hair catching the slight evening breeze, he finished them all off by bombarding them with his trademark smile, the camera flashing intensifying dramatically. Wide and dimpled, it was so bright a few women at the front got far too over excited and looked like they were about to faint, steadying themselves against the people next to them. Others nearby squeed to their friends that it looked like Jared had flinched forward to help the ladies, only to be grabbed at the elbow by one of his retainers from his agency and forced to move on.

Jared gave a few sunny waves to his fans as he slowly made his way down the red carpet, stopping to sign a few autographs, conversing with his fans who were blushing madly and squealing with delight that he’d stopped for them.

A gigantic 4 story high poster of his latest film hung high up above the movie theatre where it was premiering tonight. _Soul Survivor_ _part 1_ was a dark, physiological fantasy thriller, based on a set of twin novels of the same name. The books had a huge fanbase already so the movie had been wildly anticipated, but would also be scrutinised over for every miniscule detail by the fans. It was said that Jared was a fan himself, which is why he took the role, and had a hand in keeping it as close to the books as they could get.

The pre-screeners and early viewing critics had already dubbed it the movie of the decade, 5 stars all round, saying it had given Jared the opportunity to really fully explore his range. After rising to fame from mostly romance movies due to his innocent doe-like eyes and floppy bangs of his earlier films, this was something completely different and, apparently, completely working for him. One early critic was certainly a fan:

_Soul Survivor part 1 sees Jared Padalecki take on troubled character Sam Winchester. Sam’s story begins as he loses himself in the misery of his murdered brother, only to discover how to sell his soul to a demon in order to travel through the afterlife in an attempt to bring him back. But the afterlife is not at all what he, or we, expect, and Sam will begin to question if any of this is really what it seems. With the demon trying to tempt and turn him at every turn, would Sam’s soul survive this ordeal intact to return at all? Dark and twisted, beautiful and real, Jared delivers the perfect mixture of heartfelt love and pure raw rage that will leave you clawing at the screen for the sequel (due to begin filming in two months)._

_Though a steady presence on screen for the past decade, Jared rose to worldwide recognition two years ago for his bit performance as sombre hard hitting soldier Daniel May in Fallen Idols, surprising us all by his change in physical appearance. Having to bulk up for the role it seemed the skinny lanky lad we’d grown to love was long gone, and here was a man ready to prove himself as a serious actor. Now, already up for nomination for next years Oscars for his performance in Soul Survivor, this movie will prove once and for all just how far this 28-year-old has come from his sugary early years as the love interest for the teenage sweetheart._

The critics loved Jared, as did the people. He had one of the best reputations in the industry for being a kind and patient man on set towards his fellow cast, with no job being too small. There was even leaked behind the scenes footage from an earlier film of him getting teas and coffees for the crew while they set up the next scene. No one had asked him to, he just turned up, and not only that but had known exactly how everyone took their drinks, even had a hot chocolate for the young intern on work experience (who’d gone bright red and completely froze as Jared handed her the cup).

In fact the only people that found him utterly infuriating were his own agency.

Jared had a tendency to agree to appear on anything that anyone asked, just because he didn’t want to let anyone down. He was the most sort after movie star in the business, _STOP saying you’ll come to some kids birthday party!!_ It had taken a lot of training for him to start saying “speak to my agent” instead of “yeah okay I’ll do that”. If he carried on like this he was going to burn himself out before he even reached 30.

One thing they’d never been able to train him on though was when to walk away from his fans. In Jared’s eyes, if his fans took the time to come out and see him then the least he could do was acknowledge them, smile at them, sign some things have some selfies done, do the things his fans had come out for. He didn’t like to disappoint people, even after working several weeks worth of 16-hour days in a row, if fans had come to the location set or at his hotel, he’d still stand there and speak to them happily, even if the bags under his eyes were saying he needed to be anywhere but still awake.

So like everywhere else, this red carpet was no exception, and it wasn’t long before Jared found himself being led away from his fans by the retainers again. They couldn’t let him stand there and let _everyone_ take selfies with him! He’d never leave! So finally making it to the huge glass doors of the cinema, Jared turned once more to wave at the crowd, cameras still flashing continuously all over him, immortalising the moment before he stepped inside.

There’d be many photos online after that night, but the one that would make the hearts of all his fans swoon would be the one caught just after he’d removed his sunglasses, beaming that 10,000-wat smile at the crowd. He’d just turned his head to one side to look at a close fan that had called out his name, his long hair now frozen in mid-flair as he’d turned, that gorgeous dimpled smile on his face and his eyes bright and beautiful.

Oh, how the internet loved that photo.

As did a 34-year-old car mechanic named Jensen Ackles, who sat with his chin in his hand, staring with a lopsided grin at his celebrity crush.

* * *

It was hot. Damned hot. Hardly unusual for July in this barren desert landscape, and not like he wasn’t used to it either, but still. Damned hot.

Jensen took a swig of his beer as he sat at his old bulky computer in the shade of his open workshop garage. The computer was ancient, and absolutely covered in greasy fingerprints from his car repairs and dust from the general absence of anything pretty much living this far side of western Texas. He was taking a break from working on a customer’s car, and after checking on a few deliveries due tomorrow had finally sat to look at the photo that had been everywhere online the past month. That gorgeous Jared Padalecki, at his premiere of his latest film in New York last month, dazzling the crowd as usual.

Jensen would forever deny that whenever he came across a picture of this actor that his face ended up with an expression that would have looked more at home on a love struck 14-year-old girl. Grinning inanely, biting and licking his bottom lip, all before he’d catch himself and clear his throat, manly like of course, sitting up straighter in his chair and then saving the photo to a folder on the desktop. A folder that may have held a few other select pictures of that actor in it.

So he had a bit of a crush on the guy, so what, was that a crime? Everyone had a celebrity crush and this was his. Besides he wouldn’t even say he was a fan, not like those girls you got online, he was more a…casual observer. He didn’t go out of his way to see his films (until the more recent ones most of them were not his type anyway), but that didn’t stop him from liking the way the guy looked. So, should a pretty photo of him emerge online somewhere that Jensen happened to come across, so what if he saved it to look at during his own time? And…perhaps…maybe spark a few little fantasies? So what, it was his own mind.

Shutting off the power to his computer screen Jensen finished his beer in one long swallow before standing, picking up the ratchet he’d left to the side, and throwing it into the air where it spun a few times before he caught it again. Whistling to himself, he headed back out into the sweltering Texas sunlight, laid back down on the mechanics creeper trolley and slid back underneath the car he was working on, not giving Jared Padalecki another thought. He had work to do if this car was going to be fixed ready to be picked up this evening.

His garage, Ackles Autos, was on the main road a couple of miles out of town, the only building around and surrounded by so many cars it was more like a junkyard. Jensen kept them all for parts to fix the cars brought in from customers, as ordering parts all the way out here always took far too long. Others not in such great shape simply slowly rusted away, or were being half buried in the loose sand and scrub brush soil that surrounded the place. A few were in very good condition, sold on to him as second-hand cars, prices written on large bits of cardboard displayed on the dashboards for people to buy once again. Though dust covered absolutely everything.

There was only one other mechanic on the other side of town, so Jensen was always very busy with his work, especially as his side was where the more touristy parts were so visitors tended to come across him first should they have any car troubles. Not that there were many tourists to this dusty little backwater place, but those that did arrive came for the mountain climbing of the flat-topped rocks to the west, or deep-diving into the cool cavernous pools in a cave to the north. 

It had all become more popular in recent years, enough for a few motels, a large chain supermarket to set up shop, and to upgrade the tiny one screen movie theatre they had to a whopping three screens. In fact, only a few days ago a huge convoy of cars and trucks carrying large pieces of electrical equipment had driven past the place. Rumour in town was a movie crew was staying here while they filmed something up in the mountains, but Jensen had been too busy to go and have a look.

It was a demanding, if quiet life, but aside from the occasional trip out to a bar in town Jensen loved his life just as it was. The only people he saw were those who wanted to talk car, and that was something he could happily talk about for hours. For him, there was no better day than successfully fixing someone’s car with them leaving happy, grabbing a couple of beers and sitting out under the stars. There was no light pollution here, so the galaxy stretched out above him from one horizon to the other, the stars so bright you could have picked them out the sky like jewels. It was beyond beautiful.

Occasionally he’d bring a girl back to his apartment above the garage, sometimes a guy if the looks sat right with him, and they’d always leave the following morning satisfied and wanting more. But Jensen never gave them more, not after the one night, that was it. He wasn’t entirely sure why, all he knew was that so long as he had someone to warm his bed every now and then and a car to be under the hood of, he was a happy man. It was the life he’d always had; he’d never even left this town before let alone Texas, and he’d have it no other way.

Why go anywhere else when perfection was right here?

Suddenly Jensen swore, his hand flying to his mouth as his hand slipped and he sliced the side of his little finger open on the gasket he was trying to tighten. As he pressed his lips to the cut his mind wandered back to that new photo of that actor in his collection.

In a weird way that Jensen had never realised until later in his life, he had kind of followed Jared’s career right from the start. Jensen had been 24 years old when he’d first seen him on screen, but at the time hadn’t thought anything of him. He was just another floppy haired chick flick actor with big puppy dog eyes playing a character with a heart of gold that always wins the good girl at the end. Unoriginal, typical boring crap. In fact he was only watching this movie to score with the local busty chick he’d met at the bar, trying the not so subtle classic move of sliding his arm around the back of her shoulders as they sat at the back of the tiny movie theatre. 

He’d spent most of his time watching her than the film, trying to get her attention, sneaking kisses along her jaw as she giggled and only half-heartedly tried to push him away. She had actually wanted to watch this movie though; the lead was hot. In the end however Jensen would win her over and they’d be making out in the back row as that hot lead was making his dramatic declaration of love to his girl, and everything ended with flowers and romance and the girls in the cinema would collectively dreamily sigh as the couple kissed and the credits rolled.

It was a couple of year later when the almost exact same scenario happened again. A different girl, a different movie, and throughout the petting and quiet giggles between them Jensen noticed a familiar face leading this film again. He had no idea of the actor’s name, but he was sure he’d seen him in something before. But this girl had her hands in his pants and suddenly the cute doe eyed actor on screen was far out of his mind.

A few more years later, and the fact he’d once thought of that actor as cute suddenly made a lot more sense. Jensen lay on his back on his bed, utterly naked, as…what was his name…Aiden? Andrew? Whoever he was, he was using Jensen’s shower and Jensen was sated and happy in himself for the first time in _many_ years. 

He hadn’t even known he was into guys, not really, but then this tall handsome stranger had wandered through town and… _wow_. A drink here a conversation there, somehow he’d ended up with him in his bed and feeling that lean, firm body beneath his own as he fucked into him, _oh_ yeah. This was new this was _good_ , and this was something he wished he’d realised about himself a long time ago. It felt like a burdening weight had been lifted from somewhere deep inside his chest.

Still, this was only a one-night stand nothing more, the guy would be driving on through today continuing his journey, but the experience made Jensen smile as he flicked on the TV in the background as he got dressed. There was some girly talk show on, someone gushing over an actor beginning to take big notice in the movie world, but it was the flash of a familiar photographic smile that caught Jensen’s attention. So much so that he paused in getting dressed, one leg in his jeans, and stared at the photo on the screen.

A few memories made their way to the surface, of making out with girls at the back of the movie theatre with this guys face on the screen. This time however, something did a strange little flip in his chest, strangely at exactly the same place that had been freed from that burdening weight. That wide, dimpled smile and those perfectly white teeth, those soft bangs of hair just touching those hooded eyes that were…what fucking colour was that?? Jensen tilted his head to one side with a frown, as though that would help. And this guys nose was so straight, like it had been carved especially, those tiny little moles…damn, he _was_ cute.

At realising this for a second time, that thing in his chest did another little flip. He read the name at the bottom of the screen. _Jared Padalecki_. He mouthed the surname’s syllables to try and pronounce it correctly. But Anton…yeah it was Anton…he was out the shower and Jensen turned to grin at him, and the talk show continued on. 

It didn’t click that this one-night stand looked rather similar to that actor; tall, floppy bangs, nice smile. It seemed Jensen had a type already.

Throughout the following years, and now at 34 years old, it was impossible not to see that pretty actor absolutely everywhere. It seemed he’d climbed up from the chick flick twink to, well…the shirtless scene he’d had in his last film Fallen Idols, Jensen was not alone in the world in the slack jawed reaction at the golden sculpted muscled body of a Greek God that Jared had somehow now obtained. Gone were the cute bangs too, now his hair was long, to his shoulders in fact, framing that perfect face and that damned perfect smile. 

Fuck, never mind cute this guy was smouldering _hot_!

From then on there was no point in denying that Jensen fantasised about this actor a heck of a lot, and so what if he got off on thinking about him every now and then? He was no stalker or crazy fan, fantasising about your favourite celebrity was perfectly normal and allowed.

It’s not like the guy was ever going to find out.

The rumble of a car engine pulling off the dusty road onto the long driveway of the garage interrupted Jensen’s thoughts. His ears automatically homed in on the unhealthy popping noise accompanying the car as it came to a stop just ahead of the one he was currently under. A very creaky car door opened before it was slammed shut, and Jensen saw out the corner of his eyes a pair of blue canvas sneakers walking his way. One of the shoelaces was coming undone.

“Hello? Anyone here?” a mans voice called out.

“Down here! Just a sec!” Jensen called back, gritting his teeth as he tried to pull the ratchet a bit tighter over one of the gasket nuts again. The damn thing had cracked twice already and the last thing he needed was for it to- his hand slipped again, and this time the nut broke off entirely, the force knocking the oil plug out and black oil suddenly poured directly onto Jensen’s face. 

“Oh _fu-_!!”

Spluttering and swearing he rolled out quickly from underneath the car, desperately wiping at his face to get the oil away from his eyes.

“Oh God are you okay?!” came a panicked voice from the man above him, “Err, can I help w-what do yo-“

“Over on the workbench,” Jensen waved one hand in the vague direction of the back of the garage, spitting out some oil as he did, “there’s some blue roll, grab it would ya?”

Oh fuck the oil had gone everywhere, he could feel it, all over his hair, all over his white tank top, everywhere, eurgh god it was in his _ear_!! Not daring to open his eyes yet he felt the blue roll being pushed into his hands and he tore at it, wiping over his eyes carefully, shaking his head like a dog to try and get the oil out his ear before wiping at that as well. Feeling disgusting, he eventually opened his eyes, taking a long look down at himself. He groaned miserably. He looked a fucking mess, and now his hands were covered with oil too, half way up his arms. 

“Y’all right down there?”

“Yeah I’m good, tha-“

 _Thanks_ , had been the word he was going to say. _Thanks_ , like what normal people say when they’re politely declining an offer of help. But the word had got stuck in his throat, for the vision that greeted him when he looked up at the new customer standing over him with his hand out stretched to help him, well….it really _was_ a vision! The sunlight streamed down behind _Jared fucking Padalecki_ , almost silhouetting him in its streams, that sweet helpful smile on his face nearly blinding Jensen as much as the sun. His grey button-down shirt had the top few buttons undone in this heat, teasing a hint of chest hair, and _fuck_ Jensen could do nothing but _stare_. 

Had he swallowed some of that oil? Had he poisoned himself was he _hallucinating_? This couldn’t possibly be happening. This had to be some cruel ironic joke that he was meeting the most famous movie star the world currently had to offer, the one that made it into some wild positions in Jensen’s own head, and here he was sitting on the floor covered in oil.

At the silence between them, Jared’s smile widened and he raised an eyebrow, “You sure you don’t need any help?”

He still hadn’t removed his offered hand, and without a single manageable thought in his head Jensen finally took that hand, letting Jared haul him up off the trolley. Jensen couldn’t even mutter out a thank you, his entire brain had frozen, unable to even blink as he stared at Jared like he’d just risen from the grave. He was so much taller than he thought, his broad shoulders and chest accentuating his small waist, and Lord help him if he didn’t stop with that heart melting smile Jensen was just going to slowly collapse back onto the floor.

The silent moments passed and Jared looked at him quizzically, his lips pursing together like he wanted to laugh.

“Can I have my hand back?”

As though someone had suddenly reconnected the wires in his brain Jensen released his hand so quickly it was like he’d been electrocuted, not even realising he’d still been holding it, “S-sorry!” he stuttered out, feeling the blood rush to his face and…other places, before noticing Jared’s hand was now covered in black oil too, “Oh crap yeah sorry.”

He tore off some more blue roll and took Jared’s hand again, beginning to wipe and blot at the oil, “That er, that doesn’t normally happen,” he chuckled nervously down at the oil still pouring out from underneath the car “and err…”

Jared was still staring at him. Jensen was holding his hand again. Suddenly Jensen stopped wiping at his hand and awkwardly just pushed the now dirty sheets of roll into Jared’s hands for himself to clean up with.

“Sorry,” he muttered again, before clearing his throat, “I’m Jensen, how can err…how can I help?”

Yeah, he wasn’t acting like a total star struck freak at all.

Jared just continued to look at him. His smile was still there, one that said it was obvious there was no need to introduce himself. In fact it seemed to grow quite fond for a moment before he nodded back towards his car, wiping his hands on the blue roll.

“Yeah, my car’s been making this weird popping and crunching sound the last 30 miles or so. I’m staying in town for a while so I was hoping there’d be a place like yours here, though in a small town like this I think I was lucky to come across you. Any chance you could maybe take a look?”

“Of course,” Jensen nodded, all professional once again, “whereabouts is the noise coming fro-“ Jensen stopped midsentence as he walked round to see the car. “This is a 1967 Chevrolet Impala.” He stated blankly.

“Errr, yeah.” Jared replied, looking between Jensen and the car, “Actually it’s been playing up for ages, I’ve lost count of the number of things that have gone wrong with it, I think it’s just getting too old.”

“Too _old_? Do you know what you have here?! This is beauty this is…this is automobile _perfection_!”

Jared’s eyes widened at how both affronted and awed Jensen sounded.

“It is?” he said sceptically.

He watched as Jensen walked around his car, Jensen’s calloused workman hands gently stroking over the body work as he inspected it.

“Oh look at you,” Jensen frowned, the frown only deepening as he took in the scratches on the paintwork, the rust on the bumper, “oh honey he has not been taking care of you.”

“ _Excuse_ me?”

Jensen looked up quickly, almost forgetting entirely that Jared was there. Getting to stand beside the one car he had always wanted and the one car he’d never been able to find was about the only thing that could make him tear his gaze away from this movie star.

He grinned awkwardly, “Oh err, I didn’t- I didn’t mean anything by that I just-“ he let out small anxious laugh, “I’m just really passionate about cars,” he grinned again, “and this one? I’d sell my _soul_ to have this car, seriously. It’s the one car I have wanted for as long as I can remember. _Hey_!” he suddenly exclaimed, an idea coming to him as he rushed back around the car over to Jared again, who was watching him with an amused smile and obviously not offended by what Jensen had said, “If you wanna leave her with me I’ll patch her up properly, sort out the dents, give her a paintjob, the works. No charge either man I’d happily work on her for free, really! And just take one of those,” he pointed to the side where some of the nicer cars for sale were, “just take any one you want, if you’re happy to come back and collect her you know I’d be-“

Jared suddenly raised his hands to make him stop talking, and Jensen stopped at the gesture, looking at him curiously.

“You know what, I have a better idea.” Jared said softly, holding back a grin, “Why don’t you keep it? For free. It’s yours.”

Jensen blinked at him slowly, and there was very long pause before he remembered how to talk again, “…I’m sorry I think my brain just left my body for a moment, you wanna run that by me again?”

Jared grinned and let out a warm chuckle, “It’s yours. I’m giving her to you.” Jensen stared at him again, his heart thumping in his chest, “Like I said it’s never really run too well,” Jared continued, “it’s constantly breaking down, I think the guy who sold it to me was way overselling it, but…if you can restore it, or you know whatever you wanna do, then she’s yours. No charge.” He copied Jensen’s words, this time with a wink and another winning smile.

“I….I…” Jensen tried to speak, before suddenly looking away and clutching his chest, “I think I’m having a heart attack.”

Jared’s eyed went almost comically wide, “What seriously?”

He held out his arms towards him as if to catch him if he started to waver, but Jensen just leant back against the impala, took a few deep breaths, then looked back up at Jared, “You’re really giving me this car, for free, to keep to be mine?”

Jared let out a short-relieved breath and lowered his arms, smiling, “Yeah.”

“Hoooly…shi-OH _MAN_!”

With an _ohff_ Jared suddenly found himself with an armful of oily car mechanic as Jensen had literally pounced on him, pulling him down into a massive hug, up on his tiptoes with his arms around his shoulders and letting out ecstatically happy laughs. But the hug was over as quickly as it began, Jensen far too excited to even realise that he had just hugged _Jared Padalecki_ and instead just let him go and went right back to the impala.

Unnoticed by them both, it left Jared with a tiny blush on his cheeks at the sudden closeness.

“I swear I will take such good care of her my god I cannot believe you’d let me ha-“ Jensen paused in his excited rambling, having taken his eyes off the impala only to see Jared picking at his shirt, pulling it away from his chest and looking down at the black oil that now covered the front. Jared peered over at him with _a look._

“Oh.” Jensen muttered, seeing black smudges at his shoulders too, and some on his hair. He grinned sheepishly, “Sorry.”

But Jared just smiled.

* * *

It took Jensen quite a while to calm down and regain the professionalism he’d now totally lost, but eventually he tore himself away from the impala long enough to sort out the paperwork and insurance for taking new ownership of it, smacking the side of his old computer to get it working again. When it came to signing the new owner form Jensen may have let out the tiniest happiest whine at the back of his throat, Jared glancing up at him from where he was signing it over and smirking to himself.

With the impala officially his, there now came the question of a new car for Jared to drive. The problem was none of the cars Jensen had were anywhere close to being good enough for a movie star, they were all second hand, all older cars. In Jensen’s head Jared should be riding around in some brand new shiny open-topped red sports car with beautiful ladies partying in the seat next to him. At least that’s how most movie stars seemed to travel. But Jared not only seemed to not care what car he got, he didn’t seem to know anything about them either, and Jensen kept steering him away from ones he was pointing at and talking in detail about the ones he should be considering.

“No no no you don’t want that, the mileage ain’t great, what you want…” he looked around his yard, his eyes falling on a jeep where the sand and had buried one side of its tyres, “…this one, the 1998 Wrangler TJ.” He patted it’s door, and sand slid off the joint between door and window, “Not the best 4x4 out there but that’s not what you’re after. They traded a lot of the good stuff out for safety and comfort, and yeah it’s not glamourous but it’s comfy for long journeys and if you’re driving through places like this? The 4x4’s gonna come in real handy. Plus it’s a soft top, so great for days like today.”

It seemed talking cars was about the only way Jensen could forget that he was talking to his celebrity fantasy, for he was taking it very seriously now. Famous or not Jared was a customer and he was going to make sure he made the right choice. It was certainly the only way he was feeling normal again. Also, unless it was his imagination, the more he talked the more it seemed Jared would smile at him. Rather affectionately so actually, and it made that little unweighted part in Jensen’s chest feel like it was filling up rather quickly with something light and fluttery.

He was also sure there were a couple of times when Jensen had stood back up from bending over some part of a car to show Jared something, that he caught Jared’s eyes quickly running back up to his face, rather than where it looked like they’d been staring. Jensen would smile at him. Jared would smile back.

Imagination or not, it didn’t stop the fluttering from getting faster.

“I’ll take it.” Jared said, deciding on the offered jeep, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet.

But Jensen just shook his head, “Oh no no, you’ve just given me your impala and…and I ruined your shirt…I ain’t taking any money from you!”

“And you’ve just given me your professional advice instead of just slinging whatever car you wanted to get rid of at me. I’m paying for the car.” Jared stated, in a tone of voice that invited no further arguing.

Jensen parted his lips several times as though he was going to however, but in the end let out a defeated sigh and a smile, as Jared held out his credit card.

“Alright,” he said, snatching the card from him playfully and then waving at him, “but I’m doing this against my will.”

Jared grinned at him, and as Jensen turned to head back into the garage, Jared following, he felt like they were flirting and couldn’t help his own grin and a quick lick of dry lips.

More paperwork and more hitting his computer later, evening was creeping in as everything became official and Jensen helped Jared unload his luggage and personal belongings from the impala into the jeep. Jensen then drove it out from the sand into the driveway and hosed it down, getting rid of the sand, and held out the keys in his palm for Jared to take.

“Pleasure doing business with you.” Jensen said, pleased and still overwhelmed at everything that had been going on the past few hours. He’d been given an impala for free, made a sale, and met, and possibly flirted, with his celebrity crush.

This was a damned good day!

As Jared took the keys however, something happened that made that fluttering beat like a million wings taking off at once. As Jared’s fingers curled around the keys, the backs of his fingers and nails scrapped gently down Jensen’s palm, ridiculously slowly, right down his fingers to the very tips, and all the while keeping direct eye contact.

There’d been no need for that, he could have just picked them up off his palm, but instead he made sure of a slow, constant contact for those few short seconds, staring at him like…like…fuck, was Jensen _not_ imagining it? Was he… _really_ flirting with him?

“Thanks.” Jared said softly, before with small, seemingly shy smile, he turned around to walk to his new second-hand car.

Jensen stared after him, heart racing, his mind whirring a mile a minute, and suddenly before he even had the words in his head he yelled out after him.

“Err, wait! Wait a second!” Jared turned just as he opened the car door, “Look I err…I know I’ll regret this for the rest of my life if I don’t at least ask but…but would…would you want to...with me maybe, maybe have a dinner-drink, d-drinking dinner, dinner, d-drink at dinner?”

Jensen heavily rolled his own eyes into the back of his head and lowered his face away from Jared at how stutteringly obviously embarrassing that was, before he quickly raised his head again, “A-and I mean that in a, a thank you for the car kinda thing, you know, just a…you know it’s the least I could do, as a thank you, I mean. Just a…a thank you…”

He trailed off, the air and enthusiasm deflating out of him like a balloon as Jared just stared at him.

Well, he screwed that up.

After what felt like a few silent agonising hours to Jensen, Jared suddenly began to walk back towards him. He watched anxiously as Jared took out a tiny small biro from his jeans pocket, and then had to swallow back a large nervous lump in his throat when Jared suddenly took his hand as he stood directly in front of him. There was no need to stand that close. No need at all. Jared held it so the back of Jensen’s hand was facing up, and he let out a small amused huff of air from his nose before licking his own thumb and wiping it across the back of Jensen’s still black oiled hand. 

Wiping a clean gap, he began to write on it.

“The number on my paperwork is my agency,” Jared said as he wrote, “they don’t let me give out my own number. But this, this is my…personal, cell number.”

At the word _personal_ Jared looked directly at Jensen’s eyes, and Jensen’s lips parted with a small intake of breath. He was standing so close to him, he could smell his aftershave, the subtle fruitiness of his shampoo, all the things he’d missed when he went in to tackle hug him for giving him the car. His heart was beating so fast surely Jared could hear it. And those eyes…he could understand now why those people online said he had kaleidoscope eyes, the colours seemed to move around his irises, seemed to never stay in one place. 

They were utterly mesmerising. 

“So err,” Jared continued as he stepped back, his smile turning rather shy again as Jensen remained completely stunned silent, his hand staying exactly where it was in the air as Jared let it go, “I’ll happily go out for a… _dinner drink_ , with you.” He teased Jensen’s words back at him, “I’ll be free tomorrow any time after 6pm. I don’t know the town at all so if you wanna give me a call I’ll trust you to pick a place you know, and then you can pick me up at the Cave Springs Motel. Okay?”

Jensen’s mouth had gone so dry he didn’t dare speak. Instead he nodded, swallowing heavily again.

Jared flashed the sweetest grin at him, before turning to finally get into his car, “Oh and err, please don’t put that number online or anything.” He said, turning back.

Jensen just shrugged, before letting out a considerably girlish giggle, “Hey man I don’t even have a facebook.”

Inwardly, Jensen was punching himself for that laugh, but Jared just gave him that gorgeous smile again, waved, and started the engine, heading off back onto the dusty road.

It took Jensen a good few minutes to remember how to walk again, watching the jeep head off into the distant town. Eventually he slowly made his way back inside his garage, muttering the whole way.

“Holy shit…I have Jared Padalecki’s phone number,” he ran his finger underneath the number on his hand, “…I have his _car_ ….” He looked to the impala, uncared for and dirty, but his.

Jensen stopped and looked around at his quiet little life.

“… _what the fuck just happened?!”_

He then caught his reflection in a dirty mirror on the wall hanging amongst his tools. For the first time since it happened he now saw that his hair was a jet, sticky black, jutting up in all weird directions because of the oil, with black smears absolutely everywhere all over his face and neck and shoulders.

He gawked at himself, “He agreed to go out with THAT?! _Jesus fuck!!!”_

He then proceeded to run up to his apartment to drown the embarrassment off himself.

* * *

To be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to share this fic on tumblr, please use this link: https://starrose17.tumblr.com/post/642585259647631360


	2. “Imagine me a lot do you?”

It felt like everything was in slow motion. Even his own hands, as they slowly palmed their way up Jared’s thighs, his skin so hot to the touch, that golden chest above where Jared straddled him heaving at the effort of keep things this slow. Jensen knew all Jared wanted to do was to fuck down onto him, impaling himself on Jensen’s cock over and over again, but this was slow, this was slow motion, and Jensen’s cock was happily engulfed by that hot, tight heat, and that’s where it was staying. 

Jared’s hair was damp with sweat, his neck and chest glistening with it. His lips were parted and his head thrown back in pure ecstasy as his hips rolled smoothly, taking Jensen’s cock so deep inside himself, feeling its hot length stretching his hole so intimately and forcefully. Jensen’s hands continued their path, massaging the firm muscles beneath his palms as they made their way further up that heavenly body, over the jut of Jared’s hips, up to his slender waist and the even firmer muscles there.

Above him, Jared let out a long, drawn out groan at the feel of one of those wandering hands wrapping around his achingly hard cock, Jensen’s thumb teasing the head and smearing the precum around it. Suddenly Jared’s head fell forward, his long hair framing his face as one arm came to brace itself against the wall ahead of him, the other against Jensen’s chest, his fingernails clawing at his sweat soaked skin. His panting became harder, in time to his hips rolling faster, raising them more to get lost in the feel of that hard cock sliding back into him, again, and again. Jensen raised his hand, slipping two fingers into Jared’s mouth, feeling that wet tongue sucking on them deeply, panting and moaning around them, those whirlpool eyes so dark and heavy with desire.

The pressure was building, oh Jensen could feel it, could feel the tightness curling in his groin, Jared moving faster and faster until the sound of skin slapping on skin accompanied the panting breaths and heavy moans.

“ _Fuck_.” Jensen breathed heavily, his neck arching against the pillow, letting out his own drawn-out moan at the sight above him.

His own dark eyes watched Jared’s hair bouncing up and down along with the rest of him, still moaning around his fingers, keeping eye contact every second in a way that sent a line of fire constantly surging through Jensen’s body. Suddenly Jared took those fingers out of his mouth and instead bent right down over him, capturing Jensen’s lip as still his hips worked magic on his cock. His tongue slid smoothly against Jensen’s, swallowing all his moans, Jensen’s eyes rolling as he grabbed Jared’s hips and began fucking up into him. Hard, relentless, Jared now panting open mouthed against his lips, hyper sexualised moans tumbling from him.

“Jen…ohhh yes, _yeah yeah yeah_ …oh _fuck_ Jen… _ahhh_ …ohhhh I’m coming….fuck _I’m coming_!!”

So was Jensen, and he bit down hard on Jared’s bottom lip, that coiled heat inside him exploding as he came so hard, still fucking up into him so deeply, always wanting more, deeper, hotter, _yes_! Jared smashed their lips together as his own long threads of come landed all over Jensen’s chest, gripping Jensen’s shorter hair in his hands as he held him there still fucking himself on his cock, moaning desperately into his mouth, lost in the throes of this heated, frantic passion and…

Jensen slowly awoke finding his legs wrapped in a tangled mess around his bed covers and holding his pillow to his chest.

He blinked himself awake, “Eurgh _what_?!”

He reared his head back from where he’d been making out with his pillow in his sleep, saliva all over a heavily chewed corner, and immediately felt something warm and sticky on the bedcovers wrapped between his legs.

He looked down at himself, then looked back up again, “ _Ohhh_ …okay haven’t done that since high school.”

Instead of untangling himself from the stickiness however, he turned over onto his back, one arm thrown casually above his head as he stared up at the ceiling. His heart still racing, his breathing still calming down.

That was the most vivid sexual dream he’d ever had!

It felt so real, so much so that it was like he could feel the texture of Jared’s skin still on his fingertips. For just a few seconds he contemplated the thought that… _did_ it happen? Jared had left last night, right? Drove off into town? He wasn’t here somewhere making breakfast or something after a night of wild, passionate sex?

A slow grin began to form on Jensen’s face, and he let out a small giddy chuckle, licking his bottom lip. 

Oh how he wished.

He was such a bad boy.

* * *

The day flew by. He took no breaks, didn’t stop at all, he was flying through the jobs he had with other customers cars because the sooner he finished them, the sooner he could start work on the impala. The post arrived mid-morning along with the daily town gossip from the post mistress who delivered them.

_“Turns out I was right, that was a movie crew that went by the other day. They’ve taken over the caves no one’s allowed to go in them, and some place up in the mountains, and they’ve just filled up the motels! Rumour has it that **Jared Padalecki** might be here can you believe that? Lord in heaven if I see him on my rounds that’ll be all my Christmases arrivin’ at once!”_

Jensen had just nodded, with a secret smile.

At lunch he phoned the nicest restaurant in town to book a table for two for tonight, 7pm being the earliest time they had. Not that there was much to choose from around here. There was one diner the other side of town, one motel café (the same motel Jared was staying at), two burger joints and a steakhouse. That was it. The steakhouse was about the only one even vaguely nice enough to take a movie star to.

With that booked, Jensen then spent 15 minutes staring at the certain phone number he had inputted and saved into his phone.

Man, he could make a fortune selling that number to obsessed freaks online if he was that way inclined. But he most certainly was not, and after taking a few calming breaths he managed to dial the number and then listened, without taking a single breath, for Jared to answer.

But Jared didn’t answer, instead it went to an automated voicemail.

Somehow Jensen was both disappointed and relieved he hadn’t answered. His mouth had been getting that awkward dry feeling again and he knew he’d be stuttering out his words again had Jared’s smooth voice answered. So instead he left a message, saying he’d be around just before 7 to pick him up, if that was still okay. He was rather impressed at how normal he’d made his voice sound actually, as if picking up an A-list movie star was part of the perfectly normal day-to-day life of a car mechanic.

Until then though his day continued as uneventful as any other, more broken cars coming his way, missing a few phone calls as he talked with customers. Picking up some voicemails once they’d gone his heart leapt to his throat when a voice said;

“Hey it’s Jared, sorry I missed your call I was on set. Just wanted to say that yeah 7 is fine. I’m err…I’m looking forward to it.” You could hear the smile in his voice, “I’ll see you later.”

He was looking forward to it.

_He was looking forward to it!_

Jensen may have managed to spend the last hour of his day finally getting to work on the impala, but he was completely unable to rid the grin from his face as he did. Jared was looking forward to seeing him again. Him! A nobody from the dusty outback of nowhere! 

He succeeded to concentrate long enough to replace the damaged, rusty spark plug that was causing the popping noise in the engine, but then he finally admitted that impala or no impala, he couldn’t think of anything but his date with Jared. Because that is what it was. Guise of a thank you dinner or not it was still two people alone in a nice restaurant, talking, getting to know one another. That was a date.

So, finally shutting down the huge triple doored garage doors to his workshop, Jensen put the closed sign on the hook on the front and headed up the outer metal staircase to his apartment. After a good long shower, where he tried not to let his mind wander to that dream he’d had last night, he then never, NEVER spent such a long time picking out one damned shirt in his entire life!

He didn’t really own any ‘nice’ clothes. This entire town was covered in dust and sand there was no point in owning nice things. You got your torn jeans and tank tops for the boiling hot weather of the summer, followed by your not-torn jeans and perhaps a normal button shirt for the slightly less boiling hot weather in the winter. He didn’t even own an iron. By the time your clothes had half burnt to death hung up in the sun they were as flat as they were gonna get.

Still, considering Jared had agreed to go out to dinner with him while he was looking like the _Thing from the Swamp_ , he figured that perhaps he shouldn’t worry too much. In the end, he chose one of his not-torn plain dark blue jeans, and found a not too creased button-down shirt at the back of his wardrobe, black and grey plaid. Keeping the top couple of buttons undone he then looked at himself up and down in the mirror, running his hand through his hair making it stick up at the front in a kind of casually, uncaring, fashionable way. He nodded at himself approvingly. 

Oh yeah, he looked _good_.

And at least his hair was clean this time.

He thought he’d feel more nervous than he did, but something about the sweet way Jared had said he was looking forward to this dinner just gave him a massive boost in self-confidence! In fact by the he got into the impala to go and drive into town (because now he’d fixed the issue with it like hell he’d be driving anything else), he was positively grinning with confidence. 

He was going on a date with Jared Padalecki!

* * *

To be fair, once you were in town there was no need for a car, you could easily walk from one end to the other in 20 minutes, but Jared hadn’t known that at the time and Jensen wasn’t going to make him walk anyway. The Cave Springs motel came before the restaurant, so Jensen had pulled into their small car park and was now standing next to the impala, hands in his jeans pockets as he waited for Jared to appear. He could see Jared’s jeep a few spaces further on.

A few minutes later the door of number 4 clicked open, and Jensen turned to look over the impala to see if it was him. It was, and once more Jensen found himself teetering on the edge of having that lopsided love struck 14-year-old girl grin on his face again that he got whenever he looked at a photo of him.

As Jared came out of the motel room, closing the door behind him, Jensen took note of the pair of polaroid sunglasses hanging from the v-neck of his _very nicely_ fitted maroon coloured sweater, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination for the contours of his torso. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and accompanied with a pair of equally nicely fitted black jeans…well, the word stunning didn’t seem strong enough to describe this mans beauty, it really didn’t, and Jensen didn’t care how corny that sounded in his head.

But Jared was not looking where he was going, gazing down at his phone screen, and he stumbled down the kerb of the car park with his hair flying round his face. Managing not to fall over though he regained his balance, looked back at the kerb briefly, before turning forward again and seeing the impala first. But as his eyes rose to meet Jensen’s head peering at him from over the top of the car, he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Hey!” Jensen greeted with a grin, filing that little stumble away under _things he was so glad to have witnessed first-hand because that was damned cute_ , “I fixed the impala!” he patted the roof of the car, “Well, I mean you weren’t wrong there’s a ton of other crap going on inside there but I fixed the problem you had, so she should run fine for tonight at least.”

He walked around the impala towards Jared as he spoke, confident in his strides, but Jared had yet to say a word, and as the rest of Jensen appeared from around the car Jared’s lips parted in what could only be a jaw drop. He just stared at him, his mouth open as though wanting to speak but no words were getting out. Jensen just stood before him smiling warmly, before he slowly looked behind himself to see what he was staring at.

“What?” he eventually asked.

Jared’s lips moved silently again, his eyes very obviously dropping down over Jensen’s entire body, “Err, y-you...you…” he took a steadying breath, “y-you clean up real good.” He eventually stuttered out quickly with a tiny nervous smile.

Despite the very pleased flush he could feel on his face from the compliment, Jensen just grinned awkwardly, “Ha, yeah well…let’s pretend I didn’t meet you looking like I did huh? So, um, dinner, let’s go yeah?” he nodded back to the impala.

“R-right!” Jared stuttered once more, then his phone suddenly slipped from his lax fingers as he continued to just stand there staring at him, and he half juggled with it for a second trying to catch it before quickly putting it back in his pocket.

As Jensen turned back to get into the drivers seat, he turned his head away for a moment just so he could let out the huge adoring grin he desperately wanted to do at the sight of Jared’s fumbling and stuttering look of awe. He knew in the mirror before he left that he looked good, but _daymn_! This was how they _should_ have met, with Jared being the one speechless at how gorgeous Jensen was.

Instead of the oily star stuck stuttering mess that Jensen had been, to which it took a shower lasting nearly an hour and half to get rid of both the oil and the embarrassment of his own behaviour.

* * *

It was only a couple of minutes driving to the restaurant, but even in that short amount of time Jensen could feel Jared’s eyes on him constantly. He told him where they were going and recommended the house steak for the best meal (with such few choices in town he knew everyone’s menus off by heart), but every time he glanced at him in the conversation Jared was already watching him. 

It made that confidence he already had bloom in his chest even more.

It was busier than normal in town this evening, with a lot of unfamiliar faces around, but at least Jensen now knew why. The town was full of the movie crew, a couple of them recognising Jared’s impala and waving to him through the window, Jared giving a small wave back, though you could tell they were wondering why he was in the passenger seat of what they thought was his own car.

Because of all the strangers however it also meant more of the locals were out, hurrying along in their little giggly groups hoping to see someone famous or to be used as extras or whatever hopeful thought was going through their heads. Or to see if the rumour about Jared being in town was true.

With it so much busier the only place they could park was on the opposite side of the road from the restaurant and a few buildings further down, so getting into the restaurant without Jared being harassed by the locals was going to be interesting. It seemed Jared was having the same thought, because suddenly he was putting on the sunglasses that had been hanging from his sweater, and then reaching up taking off a hair band from around his wrist and tying his hair back in a loose low ponytail. The longer bangs at the front were not quite long enough to reach all the way round and continued to frame his face.

He caught Jensen staring at him.

“It stops me from being recognised so much.” he replied to the unasked question, “I’ll take them off once we’re inside.”

Jensen just looked at him sceptically, also trying not to eye that delicious long neck that was now visible, “Really? Cause you honestly could not look more like a movie star lamely trying to be in disguise.”

Jared let out a short, sharp breath of laughter, “You’d be surprised. Even just tying my hair back tends to work well. People don’t walk around waiting to recognise someone they’ve seen in the movies.”

“Yeah well, _they_ are.” Jensen pointed out the window to the masses wandering around.

“We’ll see.” Jared said shrewdly.

As it happens, Jared was absolutely right. As they left the impala, crossed the road and headed back up towards the restaurant, no one batted an eyelid at him. Only one girl looked up at him as they passed, but there was no sign of recognition in her eyes, though perhaps there was a small quick shy smile because whether she recognised him or not, he was still a gorgeous human being. In fact more people said hi to Jensen as they passed, being a small town everyone knew everyone after all.

“Told you.” Jared said smugly as they entered the restaurant with no problems whatsoever, and Jensen just slid him a side glance grin as the waitress came up to seat them.

Now in the restaurant however, it was a different story. Jensen knew the waitress, she’d been in Jensen’s class at school and saw him regularly, so she said hello to him quite casually asking how he’s been as she picked up two menus. But then her eyes slid upwards to Jared, who had just removed his sunglasses, and whatever Jensen had replied she was _not_ listening. In fact, she didn’t move from the spot for a good 10 seconds before Jensen coughed loudly, and with a tiny squeaky voice as she snapped back to reality, she told them to follow her. 

Jared smiled at her kindly, saying thanks as they sat down at the offered table in a secluded corner. There was a small lit tealight candle in the middle. When he took the menu from her, she giggled way over the top. 

“Can I get you gentlemen some drinks?” she purred, still smiling sweetly at Jared and ignoring Jensen entirely.

Jensen just rolled his eyes at her and picked up the drinks menu. This dinner was his treat, and he had planned to order the finest bottle of wine they had, the best wine for the best star, but after looking at the prices…yeah, the 3rd bottle was gonna have to be the best. He just hoped Jared knew as much about wine as he did about cars.

Not that Jensen knew anything about wine either.

“I’ll have the steak that you were talking about, if you wanna order food now too.” Jared said, so with Jensen ordering both the wine and two house-special steaks, the waitress gave another giggly smile to Jared before turning to leave, secretly giving Jensen a wide-eyed stare that clearly said _what the fuck oh my god!!_

As they both watched her leave, they noticed a few other faces in the restaurant looking their way. Not many, most were too busy with their own meals talking to their loved ones and friends, but there was a heavy whispering going on at some tables.

“I guess the cats outta the bag huh,” Jensen said with a grin, turning back to his date, “you’re gonna be the talk of this small little town for a long time.” He placed his chin in his hand as he gazed at him again, unknowingly giving in to that 14 year old girl look already.

He just couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

“Well I am here for a month, I was gonna have to eat at some point.” Jared pointed out, and they both laughed.

“So what movie are you shooting all the way out here anyway?” Jensen asked, starting the conversation for the evening, not noticing their waitress talking hurriedly to her fellow workers, all of them craning their necks to look over at the table and hushing each other’s giggles.

“Oh it’s nothing big, just a small independent film.” Jared replied, taking his hairband out letting his hair fall back to his shoulders.

Jensen released a slow, controlled breath at the sight. _Keep it cool Jen keep it cool._ Did Jared have any clue what he did to people?

“I play a character who goes searching for his girlfriend after she and her brother get lost while cave diving,” Jared continued, running his hand through his hair to push it back out his eyes, Jensen trying his very best to not look like he was squirming slightly in his seat, “and they end up far off in the mountains somewhere. It’s more of an aesthetic film than commercial.”

“Huh.” Jensen stated, genuinely surprised, “No offense but that doesn’t sound…I mean, you’ve become so famous in recent years I thought you’d be doing nothing but blockbusters.”

“You sound like my agent,” Jared laughed, “they hate that I keep taking on anything that comes my way.”

“So why do you? I mean you’re…what, 28? You got a long career ahead of ya.”

“29, actually,” Jared said with a coy smile, “it was um…it was my birthday yesterday.”

Jensen blinked at him as this information sunk in, then raised his head off his hand, “ _What_?!”

It was then the wine arrived, Jared smiling politely at the waitress again who poured them both glasses, taking an extra special long time to pour Jared’s so she could stand as close as possible to him. When she placed the bottle on the table, she slipped a piece of paper subtly underneath it, bit her bottom lip in what was evidently supposed to be a sultry look, and walked away.

Jensen hadn’t seen this, and just carried on their conversation, “When we met yesterday, that was your birthday?!”

“Yeah.” Jared said distractedly, tipping the bottle back to get at the paper, reading what was on it, and then shaking his head with a smile that said this was not the first time this had happened.

“What’s that?” Jensen asked, finally noticing what he was doing.

“I believe it’s the waitresses phone number.”

Not at all acting like he was jealous, Jensen snapped the bit of paper out of his hands and read the number, and the drawn winky face on it. He then looked to the waitress over the other side of the room with a glare and mouthed ‘ _Judy_!’.

She mouthed back ‘ _What_?’ and then collapsed into quiet giggles with her co-workers again.

“I’m assuming you ain’t gonna want this?” he then asked Jared, surprisingly sternly.

It really was a rather forceful statement, a presumptuous one at that, for Jared might have wanted it, how would Jensen have known? But Jared just looked at him over the top of their wine glasses, the candlelight reflecting in them both, and a small, very pleased smile began to curl the corner of his lips.

“I don’t want it.” He replied softly.

“Good.” Jensen said firmly, screwing up the bit of paper and letting it drop to the floor.

Honestly, did she really think that was going to work?!

His expression soon relaxed though and he picked up his wine glass, holding it out for a toast. “Well in that case, this is a dinner to thank you for letting me have your car, to which I will _never_ be able to thank you enough, and now also, happy birthday.”

Jared’s smile widened and he picked up his own glass. They clinked them together over the candle.

* * *

“I can’t believe you haven’t read the books you gotta read them!”

“Okay okay I will,” Jensen laughed affectionately, his hands in front of himself in defeat, “but just tell me what happens in the second movie, come on, please?”

Jared sighed in a mock exasperated tone, obviously wanting to have Jensen read the books rather than spoil the plot for him, but the internal battle didn’t last long. He soon wet his lips and smiled excitedly, leaning forward in his chair.

“Okay well look I haven’t got the script yet, it’s supposed to be coming to me in the next few days, _but,_ if it follows the book then Sam discovers that the afterlife he’s been trying to rescue his brother Dean from isn’t real, it’s all in his head, like an elaborate delusion. It turns out he killed Dean in the first place and this is all a coping mechanism for his guilt.”

“Oh so _that’s_ what’s going on! So it’s gonna be just as dark as the first one?”

Jensen had of course seen part 1 of Soul Survivor, though only a week ago. Their movie theatre didn’t get films quite as quick as everywhere else in the world. But he’d sat quite happily by himself in the packed-out theatre with a mountain of popcorn, watching Jared play his new much deeper, darker role. He remembered thinking at the time _wow_ , this is so different from those chick flick movies, and very _very_ good! He could easily see why Jared was now an Oscar nominee.

“Oh god yeah,” Jared said, after taking a sip of his wine, “even darker, this series does _not_ have a happy ending. In fact there’s great scene near the end where its revealed that the _demon_ ,“ he air quoted, “is in fact Dean, or at least the manifestation of Sam’s real memories trying to make themselves known. See there’s two parts of his own mind fighting each other, the truth trying to get through, and the delusion to keep him safe. This vision of his brother, this Dean is begging Sam, _begging_ him to just stay with him in the afterlife, don’t go back he won’t like what’s out there. But Sam is so confused and so desperate, and the whole thing is brilliantly emotional and Dean is so distressed that he can’t get through to him what’s happening. Even though this Dean is all in Sam’s head, like err…like his own subconscious trying to hide the truth, ‘cause this Dean knows what will happen if the walls come crashing down and Sam remembers what he’d done. Which in the end is exactly what happens. It’s very psychological, very disturbing, Sam all ends up screaming in a psych ward and I am so looking forward to getting to act something so deep. Both these movies are just so different from anything I’ve done before, and I’m just such a big fan of those books they are written so well you just don’t know what the hell is happening until it happens, you know? They’re very clever.”

For the first time in quite a while now Jared actually paused, but then closed his eyes briefly with a smile of realisation as he tilted his head down to the table, peering up at Jensen from under his eyelashes, “Sorry, I’m told I could talk for Texas sometimes.”

But Jensen had his chin back in his hand as he gazed at him, all too happy to let him ramble on, “Oh it’s all good, believe me.” He could listen to him talk for hours quite blissfully, “Anyway there’s nothing wrong about being passionate for your work.”

“Like you and your cars huh?” Jared smiled.

“Oh yeah, definitely. Speaking a which,” Jensen suddenly thought, “if I bored you yesterday with all the car talk I am sorry. If I’d known it was your birthday-“

But Jared just laughed, waving his hand and cutting him off, “It wasn’t boring. I may not have understood half of what you were telling me,” he teased, and Jensen groaned lightly, “but I loved your enthusiasm. It was…kinda infectious.”

They gazed at each other over the candlelight, a doting smile forming on both their lips, and then the steaks arrived.

* * *

“So did you seek out playing Sam or did they come to you? How does it all work?”

“It was one of a lot of scripts that came to me after Fallen Idols, just to see if I wanted to audition. Um, Fallen Idols that was the movie I did befo-“

“Oh I _know_ Fallen Idols.” Jensen said with a lick of his lips, and then paused in cutting his steak when he realised just how lecherous that sounded, “…and we’ll pretend I didn’t say that in a really creepy way.”

Instead of being offended or disturbed by the tone though, it set Jared off into a set of adorable giggles, “The shirtless scene, I know. I think I broke the internet with that.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” That was another picture in Jensen’s little collection after all, “Bit different to what you used to be, must have been one heck of a workout schedule.”

“Still is.” Jared said.

There was a strange little pause then, the image and evidence left in the air that Jared obviously still looked like that underneath that body hugging sweater. In the guise of leaning over slightly to take the bite of steak from his fork, Jensen’s eyes dipped to the skin exposed on that v-neck. The dip between Jared’s pecks was evident, and Jensen was suddenly very glad he was now chewing on his steak for it felt like he had more saliva in his mouth than normal. He tried to casually raise his eyes back up to Jared’s face, but ended up pausing in his chewing at the look that greeted him.

It seemed he’d been caught.

Jared was watching him, eyes half lidded, his tongue slowly wetting his bottom lip. He didn’t say a word, but there was a tiny smile tugging at his lips.

Jensen found it very hard to swallow his steak after that.

* * *

Jared thanked the still very flirtatious waitress as she took their empty plates, their dessert order of fruit salad and apple pie written on the pad in her pocket. Jensen just eyed her warily.

“You were right, that was a really good steak.” Jared said, pouring himself some more wine and topping up Jensen’s glass without asking.

“Told ya, damn fine steaks in this place, all local cows too there’s a ranch further down the main road.”

Jared took a long sip from his glass, licking his lips as he put it back down.

“Well, with interviews and the press and fans and stuff, it seems all I ever do is talk about myself, so what about you? I wanna hear about your life. You always lived here?”

“Me?” Jensen said, having been far too engrossed in listening to every word that fell from that gorgeous mouth this entire time, “Oh yeah, born and raised. Not much to say about me though, life out here is slow and dull.”

“Where’d you get your love of cars from?”

“Oh that’s easy, my dad, I’m sure I knew how to drive before I could walk.”

Jared laughed sweetly, “Now there’s an image.”

He was still holding the stem of his wine glass, absently rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger.

Jensen was desperately trying not to look.

“Well I certainly knew the ins and outs of an engine before I could ride a bike I know that much. Dad taught me everything I know. In fact he built that garage when he was younger than I am now and I’ve always lived there. It’s had a few upgrades here and there since but it’ll always be my dad’s place.”

“Where are your parents now?”

“My dad’s in Dallas and mom’s in Denver.”

“Oh.” Jared blinked, finally removing his hand from that damned glass, “So they’re…not together anymore?”

Jensen shook his head, taking a sip of his own wine, “Nope, my mom ran off with some guy when I was 15, a few years later my dad got really depressed and nearly died of alcohol poisoning.”

“Oh my god.” Jared stared at him with wide eyes.

“Oh he’s fine now,” Jensen quickly elaborated, “he moved to Dallas, big city, away from this place. He just couldn’t stay in this town where everyone knew what my mom had done. And he was just _stuck_ at that garage, in the place where he’d raised a family and she just left.”

Annoyingly, everything had gone uncomfortably quiet, and Jared was looking at him with nothing but sympathy in his eyes. It was a bit surreal actually, because it was a look Jensen recognised from his earlier films, and one that obviously came very naturally to him. The “puppy dog” look as it had been called online, his eyes big and mournful, his brow creased and lips pouting. And as insanely wonderful as it was to see that famous look in real life, it wasn’t really the tone Jensen had wanted to set.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Jensen continued in what he hoped was a light voice, for he did not want to be the one to kill the lovely conversations he’d been having with Jared, “my dad wasn’t perfect, and I don’t blame my mom for leaving. My dad loved her but…he had his moments. I could see she wasn’t happy. I guess they were both to blame in the end.” he said thoughtfully, “But I’ve got a good relationship with them both now even if they never see each other, so it’s all good.” He needed a quick change of conversation, “What about your parents? Oh, no wait…” he immediately added with regret, a memory coming back to him of something he had read online many years ago, “…wasn’t there a car crash or something? Damn you don’t have to say anything I only just remembered…”

But Jared shook his head, smiling lightly, “No it’s okay, and yeah, there was. Four years ago both my parents were in car crash. My dad died on impact but my mom survived. She’s in a specialist care home near my place in L.A.”

“A care home?” Jensen enquired.

“Yeah, she err…” Jared paused for a moment, clearing his throat, “she broke her neck in the crash, left her paralysed from the neck down.”

Jensen _stared_ at him, “Jesus fuck that’s _terrible_!”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds.”

“How could it possibly not be as bad as it sounds??”

It sounded _horrific_! But Jared was just sitting there smiling at him, unbeknownst to Jensen a sincere smile at how concerned he sounded.

“She’s okay,” Jared said gently, “she can still talk and swallow food, and she’s in the best possible place. It’s a care home specifically for those suffering from paralysis, they’ve got the best doctors, carers, everyone there is incredible they take really good care of her. I visit when I can and I phone her every day.”

Jensen continued to stare at him. The emotion he felt on Jared’s behalf right now, he couldn’t even describe. That was a horrendous thing to happen to someone you love and yet Jared spoke about it with such…well, love. He tried to think how he would have felt if that had happened to his own mom, and it was too horrible to even imagine. Plus he would never have been able to afford to keep her in a place like Jared had just described, so she would not have had a good life. 

It was weird, you never think of famous actors who earn millions that they could possibly have any hardship in their life. It was a bit of an eye opener.

“I’m…kinda impressed actually, that you have such positivity.” Jensen said quietly, in genuine awe, “It’s gotta be hard though, seeing her like that?”

Jared shrugged, “She’s alive, what more could I ask? She’s alive and I always make sure she’s happy and cared for so…no.” Jared shook his head, such a genuine charming smile on his lips, “It’s not hard at all. I just wanna work hard every day to make her proud.”

Jensen gazed at him, for once not in a day dream, this time actually properly seriously looking. He scanned that smile for any hint of sorrow at having to deal with something so tragic, but there wasn’t any. Jared was truly happy that he had his mom in any way that he could.

He suddenly felt a swell of affection for him, unlike anything he’d felt so far. It was…different. Something further than attraction. He couldn’t put a name to it but he knew it made him want to reach out to touch him. Just an arm, a hand, anything. Just a small touch of comfort, even if Jared didn’t need it Jensen wanted to give it.

But he didn’t. Not yet.

“I bet she is proud of you.” He said softly instead, and was rewarded by an even warmer smile.

“I um, told her about you.” Jared said, turning rather delightfully bashful.

“You did?” Jensen asked surprised, then grinned excitedly, “What did you tell her about me?”

“Just that you seem like a real nice guy.” Jared smiled honestly, before it turned rather mischievous, “And that we were gonna be _drinking dinner_.”

Jenson groaned loudly and ran his hands over his face, Jared letting out the laugh he’d been holding back.

“I’m never gonna live that down am I?” Jensen said, muffled under his hands.

“Nope.” Jared said between his laughs.

Jensen peered at him from between his fingers. Embarrassed or not, seeing Jared laugh was so damn beautiful, and much preferable to the overly serious way the conversation had turned. Not that Jensen didn’t want to know those things, but Jared just…it felt like he should always be smiling, and Jensen wanted to keep making that happen.

* * *

Their desserts had come and gone, as had most of the heat from the two cups of coffee’s they had ordered and pretty much ignored, still engrossed in conversation with each other. They had talked more about Jared’s films, the subject of social media coming up and Jared saying he has an actual team at his agency who go through his own twitter account for him, only passing on messages they think he would want to hear about.

“Bit extreme isn’t it?” Jensen asked.

“Not when you get 12,000 messages a day.”

“……okay then. Yeah. Not extreme.”

Though Jared continuingly tried to steer the conversation back to Jensen, Jensen would only indulge him for a little while. There really wasn’t much about his life to tell. Besides he had too many questions about the movie industry, and Jared would sigh patiently and continue to answer them anyway. 

At Jensen asking what it’s like to walk down the red carpet at his movie premieres, Jared told him that due to the various premieres of part 1 of Soul Survivor throughout the world that he’s lost count of the number of countries he’s been to in the past month alone.

“Sometimes I don’t even know what time zone I’m in, and by the time I’ve figured it out I’m in a different one again.”

“Wow, how’d you sleep?”

“Sleep?” Jared laughed sarcastically, “What is sleep?”

They talked about the impala and other cars Jared had owned, Jensen going off on another excitable rant about that car, Jared sitting with his arms crossed across the table and listening intently, a heart-warming smile on his face at Jensen’s enthusiasm once again. Jensen even broached the subject of old flames for Jared, but Jared had gone strangely quiet at that and Jensen quickly changed the subject. 

It had been a risky move anyway, because Jensen was not blind to the flirting that had been going on throughout the evening. Yesterday back at the garage he was just happy to even think he was just imagining the flirting, thinking he’d never see Jared again so what did it matter if he made it up in his head? But tonight? Oh no, there was _definite_ flirting. The occasional and subtle licking of lips, the fingers on the wine glass, the amount of times Jared had run his hands through his hair while keeping direct eye contact with Jensen the entire time. God he _must_ know what he did to people surely?! What he was doing to Jensen!

So, feeling encouraged, and with a smile, Jensen decided to admit something.

“Look I gotta admit, this evening has been…” how was he going to phrase this? “…you know how everyone has this image of famous people in their head? What they’re like in real life? And most of the time it’s probably completely inaccurate, ‘cause you know you guys are people too.”

“Thank you.” Jared chuckled lightly.

“Well…in your case? It’s not like I ever thought anything negative but still, you’re…” Jensen could feel his smile turning bashful, and mortified he turned his head for a moment to try and calm it down. He failed miserably though, so deciding he didn’t care he turned back to look up at Jared’s eyes, “…you’re even better than what I imagined.”

Jared just watched him for a few moments, a few moments that felt like a damn eternity as Jensen was sure he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks every second that passed. He wished Jared would say something. Eventually, Jared rested his elbow on the table, leant his cheek on the backs of his fingers, and with the most suggestive smile at him over the candlelight said;

“Imagine me a lot do you?”

Fucking hell that voice was damned _sultry_! The heat that had been rising to Jensen’s cheeks just _burst_ , Jensen now blushing like mad at the implication behind those words, and especially when his dream from last night decided at that very moment to come tumbling into the front of his mind!

“Errrrr,” he panicked, his brain having a meltdown, “umm, w-well, I-I mean, just, that wasn’t, I-I didn’t-“

But Jared’s smile was getting bigger and bigger, and turned into such a shit eating grin Jensen finally realised what he was doing.

“Oh you little…you have gotta stop teasing me Jared!” Jensen demanded in mock anger, Jared bursting into laughter, “Okay fine maybe you’re cheekier than I thought you’d be, how’s that?!” Jensen pointed at him over the laughter, but Jared just carried on, putting the back of his hand over his mouth like a giggling child.

Jensen couldn’t help the wide grin on his own face at seeing this wonderful sight, and just sat there, shaking his head full of complete and utter irritated affection.

Jared was a lot cheekier than he’d imagined.

And Jensen liked it.

* * *

It was well into the late evening by the time Jensen noticed they were the only ones left in the restaurant. After paying for the meal, and arguing with Jared who tried to pay first that this was Jensen’s treat, _and_ after Jared ended up giving out a few signatures to the excited staff (and the flirting waitress), Jensen was all too soon pulling into the motel car park to drop him off. As the engine switched off, Jensen turned to him in the passenger seat, having been thinking what he was about to ask since they left the restaurant.

“Hey I, I know it’s getting late, but er…you know my place isn’t far and, if you wanted to come up for a few beers or something…”

“Or something.” Jared muttered so quietly with a tiny smile Jensen didn’t even hear it, “As tempting offer as that is,” he said louder, turning to face him, “I actually have to be up at 4.30 in the morning to be on set.”

Jensen gawked at him, “4.30?? That’s not the morning that’s the middle of the night!”

Jared let out a short laugh, “Tell me about it. But um…I’ve really enjoyed tonight.” He said quietly, his eyes dropping to Jensen’s lips just for a moment, “Really. Thank you.”

The air was still. So still. So quiet. Jensen hadn’t missed the drop of eyes to his lips, and purely subconsciously he ran his tongue over his bottom lip. His heart felt like it was trying to beat itself out of his chest, and he couldn’t stop his own gaze dropping to Jared’s tempting lips, then back up to his eyes. He was holding his breath he knew he was, they weren’t that far apart sitting here, facing each other. The flirting was all real, he was sure of it, for whatever reason Jared…all he had to do was lean over just a little more, just a little bit, tuck that silky hair behind his ear and…

“You’re welcome.” Jensen replied, in an almost strangled whisper, as though it was the hardest thing to say.

The moment was gone.

Jared gave him a small smile, one that somehow held a measure of surprise, but also disappointment. He turned to open the door but suddenly paused. He turned back, and in a heart stopping moment when Jensen thought Jared was actually going to lean over to kiss him, Jared slid a hand under Jensen’s chin and turned his head, kissing him on the cheek instead.

“Thanks again.” He breathed softly against his skin, and Jensen drew in a shuddering breath at the feel, his eyelids fluttering closed where he now sat facing forwards towards the windscreen. 

All too quickly those smooth lips left his cheek, the hand left his chin, and Jensen remained there with his eyes closed as the creaky impala door opened and Jared left the car, closing it behind him. Suddenly breathing heavily, almost in a panic, Jensen opened his eyes swiftly and leant over to wind down the window of the passenger side as fast as he could.

“Jared!” he called out, and Jared turned back, “You say you’re here for a month right? If you wanna go for another dinner or, or just a drink or just to hang, anything at all give me a call! Any time!”

Was he coming across desperate? Was he coming across obvious? He didn’t know, but suddenly the thought that he might not see Jared again consumed his entire body like a wave of terror, and he had to at least try. He didn’t want this to be the only time he saw him, he didn’t want it to be the last. He didn’t know why he hadn’t kissed him. He wanted to, god he wanted to more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life, this was _Jared Padalecki_! Rich, famous, gorgeous movie star!

But…he was also someone wanting to work hard for his mom, someone who worked ridiculous hours of the day and night, someone who’s life was in the public eye constantly whether he wanted it to be or not.

Jensen just felt like he wanted to know even more about him, wanted to spend more time with him, and not in the weird _I collect pictures of you on my computer_ kind of way, he wanted to…to…

Wonderfully, Jared just smiled back at him, this smile a very happy one.

“I’d love to.”

He then turned and tripped up the kerb just like he’d done when leaving.

Jensen winced as he crashed into the door of his motel room, “You okay?” he shouted out.

Jared, to his best effort, tried very much to pretend that hadn’t just happened, and cleared his throat awkwardly as he clawed his way back up the door, “Y-yeah, yeah fine.” He said, without even looking at him, but Jensen could see from the side the furious blush on his cheeks. Jared quickly and awkwardly turned to him, barely looking at him in the eyes, “Bye!” and then disappeared inside his room as quickly as he could physically get into it.

Jensen remained for a short time just looking at the hurriedly closed door with an adoring smile. When he started the engine and pulled out of the car park, he found himself wondering why it didn’t bother him more that he hadn’t kissed him when he’d wanted to so badly.

All he did know, was that entire date had left him feeling so warm and comfortable, like he’d spent the evening talking to someone he’d known for years, even though he’d barely known a thing. Jared felt like someone he wanted to do more than just kiss, was someone that wasn’t worth the risk of losing if the kiss was too soon.

He’d wanted to kiss him, so much, but at that moment? Looking into those eyes?

All Jensen had wanted to do was smile.


	3. “How long have you been dating Jared Padalecki?!”

It had taken Jensen an extraordinarily long time to get to sleep that night. Almost as long as the time Jared had to be awake for to get to his early shoot. His head was full of everything that had happened that night, playing through the conversations and the smiles, the flirting and the stolen silent moments. Some images replayed differently in his head, his own imagination taking over as he pushed the reality into his own fantasies. Like leaning across the table to take Jared’s hands in his own when he’d wanted to comfort him about his mom, rubbing his thumb slowly across his knuckles as Jared would squeeze them back. Telling him out right how attracted he was to him, and Jared would blush and be all coy and adorable. And then of course, kissing him in the impala, leaning over and running his hand through that gorgeous hair as he’d press their lips together, and the moment would be right and perfect and he’d feel Jared’s hand on his knee, slowly moving up his thigh…

Jensen had grinned into his pillow at that.

When he did finally fall asleep however, there was no vivid sexual dream that made him come in his sleep, not this time. There was a dream, and Jared was definitely in it, but when Jensen opened his bleary, sleepy eyes, the morning sun creeping into them through a gap in the curtains, the dream had left him feeling…loved. There was no other word for it. A gentle, peaceful, incredibly warm feeling that gathered in his chest and spread out through every vein all the way to his toes. He didn’t fully remember what he’d been dreaming about, but he had the quickly fading memories of cotton sheets in the breeze, of sunlight behind the warmest smile, of long fingers delicately intertwining with his own, and of the sweetest, softest words against his ear.

It felt like the dream had been pulled straight out of one of Jared’s old corny romance movies, but still, this early and sleepy in the morning, Jensen allowed himself to bask in it.

And more importantly, the real non-dream Jared had said he’d love to see him again, and thinking that made that warm feeling bloom in his chest even more and he snuggled down into his bed covers, ignoring that he was going to be late down to his garage if he didn’t move soon.

After a while though, and especially after hearing someone knocking loudly on the large garage doors below and a voice shouting up, “You open Ackles???”, Jensen groaned and threw back the covers like a toddler having a tantrum, and reluctantly got dressed.

For the first half an hour of his work day, it was _the kiss that didn’t happen_ that occupied his mind. The more he thought about it, the more perhaps his subconscious at the time had been reminding him of what Jared had said on their date when Jensen had brought up his past relationships. Jensen wasn’t a massive fan like those online so didn’t watch every news report or bit of gossip about Jared’s life, as he’d always said he just liked the way Jared looked, collecting the odd picture here and there. But when he’d casually said that he hadn’t heard much about any relationships with Jared, and then brazenly asking if he’d dated anyone else famous, Jared lost that happy and contented look that had been growing throughout their date.

“Oh, um, no…there hasn’t been many.”

That’s when he’d gone quiet, so that’s when Jensen took the very obvious hint and changed the subject. Perhaps he’d been hurt? Or perhaps it was just a stupid line of questioning to ask someone you were on a not-date with. Technically. It was a thank you dinner. With…flirting.

It was totally a date.

For the first time ever, once he’d gotten home that night he looked up Jared on Wikipedia, curiosity finally giving in. For the star that he was there wasn’t actually much information about him. It mentioned his parents, his mom a homemaker, his dad a truck driver, and both being in that car crash but with no mention of his mom surviving. Saw the name of the high school he went to in Austin. No college or university mentioned. Saw his list of movies. No tv programs. No nothing in fact, before his very first film _Angel Heart_ , the one Jensen vaguely remembered making out with his girl at the back of the movie theatre that first time he’d ever seen Jared. It had been a starring role for a fresh, apparently inexperienced actor. Jared must have caught a lucky break with that one to start his career off so easily.

Under relationships, he saw three names, none of which he recognised as anyone famous. Two girls and one guy. There was a brief description of either fact or rumour of what had happened to each. One girl was only with him for a month, rumour of a gold-digging fan who stole his belongings. The other girl lasted nearly a year, and apparently Jared had been quite in love with her, before she used his connections to get a foothold in the modelling world and the second she made it big had dumped him on the spot. Jensen pulled a disgusted face at that one, that felt worse than stealing his stuff. The 3rd, the guy, broke up after 8 months together just last year after a huge public argument was witnessed. The man was heard shouting at Jared something about “all your money to her but not me!”. There was no elaboration on that, but it sounded like another gold digger to Jensen’s ears.

No wonder Jared had gone quiet about that subject. Another thing to acknowledge that perhaps famous people didn’t really know for sure that the people they fell in love with actually loved them back, or were just using them. Because of that he was now extra glad he hadn’t kissed Jared, because there was no way in hell he was going to come across as someone desperate to get with him just for his money or his fame. If what was happening between them was real, early days he knew but still, if it had a chance to be real, he wanted it to be right.

Didn’t mean he wouldn’t stop with the flirting though.

The thoughts about the not-kiss only lasted that first half an hour of his day though because that’s when the phone calls on his landline started. One after another, not even leaving him time to walk the few steps back over to the cars he was supposed to be working on before receiving another call. All of them were from locals, all mostly younger women, and all were screeching the same question excitedly at him down the phone:

_“How long have you been dating Jared Padalecki?!”_

Gossip spread like wildfire in small towns, and someone at the restaurant last night must have said something. He denied everything quickly and put the phone down on most, until someone managed to get out, “But what about the photo?!”

Jensen could feel a sheen of dread sweat on his forehead, “… _what_ photo??”

A short search online told of the culprit. Judy, the waitress from last night, had taken a secret photo of himself and Jared at the restaurant and posted it on her twitter account, tagging Jared in it and _naming_ Jensen! It already had over 400,000 likes and re-tweets _over night_! Jared wasn’t kidding when he said he needed an entire twitter team to run his account, and Jensen pictured them having a meltdown right now with all the @’s going Jared’s way about it.

Jensen was unsure exactly what he should be feeling right now, because on the one hand he didn’t want anything to hinder Jared, he didn’t want any strange backlash from this. But on the other hand, it was a _really_ good photo because _damn_ , the look on Jared’s face!

The photo captured Jensen talking, his hands frozen in movement in front of him as he emphasised something, and Jared was looking at him with such fascination, such rapture, like a bomb could have gone off across the street and he still would not have turned his gaze away from him. Looking at it from an outside perspective made Jensen feel light and slightly giddy, and a crooked smile began to tug at the corner of his lips.

He saved that picture to his collection.

He then wondered if Jared had been informed on set what was going on. He thought about phoning him to check, or to warn, but in the end he never had a chance. Now it wasn’t just phone calls he was getting; people were arriving at his garage! People he knew, people he didn’t know, everyone was driving up from the town and questioning him about the photo. They all wanted to know how long he’d been dating the biggest movie star in the world!

By the time it had only reached lunch he was already sick and tired of yelling at people “I am not dating Jared Padalecki!” along with an unhelpful voice at the back of his mind adding _not yet_. Every time he got rid of one person another one would show up, and then all hell broke loose when a huge dust cloud came rumbling down the desert road and a convoy of dozens of cars and vans pulled up to his garage, along with dozens of reporters piling out of them.

“Oh fuck…” Jensen mumbled to himself, feeling the blood drain from his face as he was suddenly bombarded with rapid fire questions as a stampede of running footsteps charged at him.

Cameras flashed blindingly in his face as he tried to step back away from the crowd of paparazzi and the locals that were _still_ arriving. His garage was fit to burst with people, Jensen now backed into his tools on the wall, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. He tried to stumble out words but his mouth just wouldn’t work, his mind couldn’t focus on one question there were so many being shouted at him all at once, his head turning from one person to another. Who was he, how did he know Jared, why the dinner, _how long had he been dating him_ , did he have any future plans, what did it feel like to be a nobody catching the eye of the famous, was he just after the money, did he really think this was going to last…then someone noticed the impala, recognising it as Jared’s, and the questions got even louder as cameras flashed all over the car too, how did he get this car was it a gift did he steal it why had Jared sold him the car was this a romantic gestur-

**_“ENOUGH!!! I AM NOT DATING JARED PADALECKI!!!!”_ **

Jensen suddenly found his voice, screaming as loud as he could over the chaos, both anger and panic rising so high inside his chest. The questions quieted down long enough for him to explain himself, hoping they’d then just go away.

“Look, Jared came here because he had a problem with his car, I’m a mechanic it’s kinda what I do! The dinner was a thank you for the car, which _yes,”_ he added quickly as the questions began to shout again at that statement, “he gave me because I happened to mention I’d always wanted an impala, that was it! It was just a real nice thing to do! He bought a different car and then left! The end!” he glared at all of them as he tried to make his point that there was nothing else they were going to get out of him, “So unless you’re here to get your car fixed everyone else can _FUCK OFF!!”_

“I’m here to get my car fixed!” shouted a hopeful local woman at the back of the crowd.

“Maggie you’re on a horse!!” Jensen yelled back.

“There’s something wrong with my car!” bellowed one of the reporters, and proceeded to pick up an axel stand lying on the floor nearby and _smashed_ it through the passenger side of his own car window.

Jensen just stared at him incredulously, “ _Dude_!!! You know I’m gonna charge you if you want me to repair that right?!”

* * *

In the end one by one, the locals slowly meandered their way back into town, followed by the paparazzi once they realised they weren’t going to get any other information out of this rough and angry mechanic. Jensen suspected they were going to try and hunt down Jared now, and hoped he was still on set for his sake.

With the last person finally gone, Jensen took the quiet moment to make a few phone calls to his customers that were due to have their cars ready by today, to apologise and say that something came up and he’d have them ready tomorrow instead. Funny how every single one of them knew what that something was, even if they hadn’t been here at the time. By the time that was done and he’d shooed away a few more local stragglers still turning up here and there for gossip, it was nearing closing time.

Looking around and ensuring he was actually definitely alone after the entire day of relentless questions, he decided to phone Jared. He answered almost right away, his voice distant sounding like he was on speaker phone in his car.

“Hi Jensen.”

It was the first time Jared had actually said his name allowed, and Jensen had to ignore the giddy fact that Jared must have saved his number in his phone to know it was him calling.

“Hey. Um, look I dunno if you know but, well I’ve been trapped by a ton of reporters today. That waitress last night put a photo of us online and they all seem to think that, umm…well, that we’re dating.”

He grit his teeth as he said it, wary of what Jared may be thinking, and cringed slightly at the little “oh” that came through the phone.

“I denied it of course,” he added quickly, not wanting Jared to think he was going to use this to his advantage and boast about having a dinner date with him, “but the thing about you giving me the impala may have come out and…oh man look I’m sorry they just ambushed me they were firing questions at me there were cameras everywhere and now I think they’ve all gone into town looking for you and…and I might have told them all to fuck off I don’t know if that’s gonna-“

“- _hey_ , hey it’s alright.” Jared interrupted calmly, “This is my fault, I should have known something like this might happen I should have warned you.”

“Hey man it’s not your fault, it’s Judy’s! I’m gonna fucking kill her!”

It was obvious she’d only put that photo online for all the attention it was now getting her. Who knows how many reporters had contacted her, asking where that restaurant was and who Jensen was, it was the only explanation as to how they knew where he worked.

But it was Jared’s laugh that greeted him in response, which took Jensen off guard. He thought he’d be pissed.

“No you don’t have to kill her, I’m more than used to having photos of my every day life turning up online, but it’s your life I wouldn’t want it affecting. I’m sorry you got ambushed. At least that explains what the dozens of voicemails I have are probably about, most likely my agency wanting a statement. I was just about to listen to them when you called.”

“Really?” Jensen asked, surprised, “You have to make a statement just for having dinner with someone?”

“My life is in the public eye, if I don’t tell them people will only make up their own stories, as I’m sure those reporters will anyway.”

Jensen paused, “Don’t you get sick and tired of having to explain everything you do?”

Jared sighed, “Unfortunately it comes with the job.” he replied honestly, “Listen don’t worry about the reporters, it’s me they really want to see. Now they’ve spoken to you once they probably won’t bother you again, you’re…um, well, don’t take this the wrong way or anything but you’re not important to them, not being anyone well known.”

As Jared was speaking, Jensen was tilting his head down underneath the impala, having spotted something small and white on the ground underneath it. Bending down, he picked it up.

“No wrong way about it. Hey not to change the subject but I’ve just found your driving license on the floor.” He peered at the small card, Jared’s very recognisable face in the thumb-sized photo.

“Oh God really?” Jensen could hear a small click and a shuffling sound, Jared obviously checking in the glove compartment, “Shit you’re right, I must have dropped it when we were moving stuff from the impala. I better come and pick that up before I get pulled over for something. I’ve only just left set I’ll be another…45 minutes or so, that okay?”

Jensen could physically feel the release of serotonin go around his body at hearing Jared say he’d come over, “Yeah no problem I’ll be here.” He now sounded slightly breathless, “The garage’ll probably be shut by then so just come up the outer staircase to the right, that’s my front door.”

“Thanks, I will. Okay well I’ll see’ya soon.”

“Yeah, see’ya.”

As the phone clicked off, Jensen stared down at it for a good few seconds. Then a wide, excited grin spread across his face. Jared was coming back here! Up to his apartment!

Oh _God_ he needed a shower pronto!

It was nearly time to shut up shop anyway, and considering the lack of any work he’d done today it wasn’t going to take very long. He busied himself as quickly as he could packing away his stuff, parking the customer cars he failed to work on back inside his garage rather than out in the sunlight where he’d planned to work on them.

After a few minutes, and going unnoticed by Jensen as he had far more important and pretty things on his mind, a sleek, bright red Ford Mustang sports car went zooming past the garage. Busily organising his tools on the back wall he didn’t notice the car then reverse back down the road, parking and blocking the entrance, and a man stepping out of it walking with hurried angry strides towards him.

“HEY!! Where in hell d’ya get that car?!”

With his back to him, Jensen just looked up, blinking at his tool wall with raised eyebrows at the manner of that voice.

“You wanna try asking me that again in a tone that doesn’t make me wanna punch you?” he said, threateningly calmly, turning around to face the rude man who was still striding towards him.

“The impala!” the man yelled, coming to a stop a short distance away next to it, “Where’d you get it?”

Jensen glared at him. Whoever the hell he was he had an instant dislike to everything about him. From the beer gut hanging over his belt, to the balding patch on his head and the aging grey flecks in his short beard.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business pal.”

The man raised his hand, one finger pointing up as if he was going to argue a point, but then Jensen took one single step towards him. The mans gaze dropped to the ratchet Jensen was gripping firmly in his hand, and the workman’s biceps shown off through his regular sleeveless tank top.

The man clenched his teeth instead, took a few steps back, and pointed at the impala.

“I know whose car that is.” He said in a dark voice.

“Yeah, it’s _mine_.” Jensen replied forcefully, finally figuring this guy was just another reporter who must have known that was Jared’s car, just like all the other parasites from today, “And you’re too late to the scene your friends have gotten the scoop before you so why don’t you get the hell off my property!”

The man glared right back at him, before taking another few steps back, watching Jensen fiercely, “I know whose car that is.” He repeated quieter, and then turned, storming back to his own car.

“ _Fuck off_!” Jensen yelled back to him, the man slamming his own car door before taking off in a dusty haze towards town.

Fucking paparazzi!

Jensen couldn’t help but feel very sorry for Jared, he probably had to deal with irritating people like that all the damn time.

* * *

After shutting his garage and having a quick shower, Jensen had hurried around his apartment tidying things up, making it not look like it belonged to an obvious single male who spent far more of his time inside cars than vacuuming and dusting. It was more of a case of shoving things in cupboards so they couldn’t be seen, and picking up empty packets of chips that had missed the rubbish bin when he’d aimed the screwed-up packet at it. Looking around his place also reminded himself that he really needed to wash his hands properly downstairs before he came up here. He never noticed until now just how many greasy fingerprints were on door handles and walls and the tv remote before. He had a dirty job, what could he say? It’s not like he entertained much up here.

The only reason he was doing any of this is because once Jared got here the thought had occurred to him that maybe he’d offer him a beer, just like he’d done after their date. You know, to stay for a while, have another chat in a more relaxed and…intimate, environment. Nothing seedy, he wasn’t going to try anything this was going to be genuine offer of a drink, but out of the annoying public eye. He just wanted to sit next to him on the couch, knocking back a few and continuing their conversations from yesterday. He still wanted to know more about him.

He just wanted to spend more time with him, that was all.

Almost exactly 45 minutes later just like Jared had said, the doorbell rang. Jensen dropped the cloth he was hurriedly drying the washing up with that he’d not done in days, then leapt out the kitchen and around his couch, grinning ear to ear already. This was it; he was going to ask him to stay for the evening, have some drinks, relax out of the public view. He just prayed Jared said yes. Hurriedly opening the front door, and as per usual whenever he saw him that little soppy smile tried to melt its way onto his face.

“Hi.” He all but purred, looking at the pale blue t-shirt Jared was wearing today, tighter around his pecks and falling looser down over his slim stomach. His hair seemed extra fluffy, like it had been wet and then dried naturally.

“Hey.” Jared smiled beautifully back at him, those dimples doing that they did best, and Jensen felt himself go weak in the knees.

God it really didn’t take much to get him melting into a pile of mushy goo around him.

“You um, have a good day on set?” Jensen asked casually.

“Yeah. Yeah it was a long day, but…yeah.”

“Good, good.”

There was a slightly awkward pause, Jensen fighting the urge to bite his bottom lip as he gazed at him dreamily.

“Sooo…my driver’s licence?” Jared enquired into the silence.

“ _Oh_! Yeah.” Jensen had almost forgotten that was the whole reason Jared was here, and reached over to the sideboard and picked it up, handing it back to him.

Jared took it, those fingers brushing against Jensen’s again. They both looked up at each other’s eyes at the exact same time when it happened, and both ended up sharing equally tiny, shy, but very pleased smiles, eyes fluttering away from each other like two school boy crushes in the school yard.

With a random burst of confidence Jensen suddenly found himself leaning his forearm up against the doorframe, a ridiculous beaming smile on his face to match the ridiculous flirtatious pose that made his own shirt ride up high against his hip, showing off a small bit of skin.

“I don’t suppose you feel like having those beers I offered before?”

Jared raised his eyes from where that bit of skin had not gone unnoticed, looked him in the eyes to ensure he’d noticed that he’d noticed, and then looked back in the direction of the town, “Well…considering what’s probably waiting for me back there…” he turned back to Jensen with a flirtatious smile of his own, “sure, why not?”

With an inward cheer Jensen tried to keep a natural smile on his face as he stepped aside, “Come on in!”

As Jared stepped through, brushing by him as he did…possibly deliberately so, Jensen wasn’t sure, Jensen mouthed out an excited _yes_ to himself with a closed fist in triumph at his side.

“Make yourself at home, have a seat.” He said as he closed the door, nodding over to the large brown 3-seater couch, old and worn but looking very deep and comfortable.

Jensen grabbed 2 beers from the fridge in his kitchen, and when he came back found Jared curled up in a corner of the couch, his legs tucked up under himself, smiling up at him as Jensen passed him a beer.

“Thanks. So you said before that your dad built this whole place?” Jared asked, as Jensen settled himself into the other corner, an entire seat of the couch empty between them.

“Yep, the garage underneath and then this apartment. Got the plumbing and electrics connected to the town so everything we needed was right here.”

“And I take it you took over the garage once your dad moved?”

“Yeah, I’ve been running this place since I was 18.”

“And you’ve been…” Jared paused, his voice becoming quieter, “…alone here all that time?”

“Well…I guess,” Jensen said, slightly awkwardly, “but I know almost everyone in town. Most of my friends from school moved on to bigger and better places yeah but…” he didn’t really know what he was trying to say, he hadn’t really been expecting the question “but, this is…I’m doing what I wanna do so…” he trailed off, but Jared just smiled supportively at him.

“No I understand that. You have a job you love so never really work a day in your life, right?”

“Exactly!” Jensen grinned at him, liking that he understood and leant forward towards him more, “So what about you what has your job been getting you to do today?”

Jared smiled and took a swig of his beer, “Been in the caves practically all day, underwater for half of it. Everything takes _so_ long to organise though you have no idea how many health and safety issues there are when you’re filming on a real-life set, especially one as potentially dangerous as this. Not to mention the underwater lighting and cameras to set up, we had to get permission from the town to close the caves down for the month so none of the equipment has to be moved every day.”

“Underwater? Does that mean that you’ll be…”

Oh no. Jensen stopped that thought as quickly as it came. No way he was going to voice that thought not a chance. But he could feel the heat on his cheeks just from letting it float through his mind for that brief second, and as it happened he was going to regret even starting that sentence.

“What?” Jared’s lips curled in a curious smile.

The heat grew more, “N-nothing, no it…it’s nothing.”

Oh God please drop it.

“Oohh no, does it mean that I’ll be _what_?” Jared leant forward now in keen interest, resting his arm along the back of the couch, that smile now bright and cheeky again.

Jensen had been caught.

Again.

Dammit.

“D-does…does it mean that…” oh that blush was bright he could feel it, “….that…we-get-to-see-you-in-a-wet-suit?”

He said it so quickly he wasn’t sure Jared would even be able to understand him, feeling the blush burning on his cheeks. That cave system was best known for having literally dozens, possibly hundreds of miles of underwater caves and tunnels for people to explore, tourists always coming with their underwater diving gear, oxygen tanks and wet suits.

It was just the first thing that came to his head!

He stared resolutely to the side at the coffee table between the couch and the tv, and took a long, _long_ drink of his beer, if only to try and hide his mortified blush. Why did his brain do this to him? He didn’t want to come across as some creepy fan to Jared, not now.

But Jared? He just laughed. Completely joyously. Jensen risked a glance at him from behind his beer, watching his eyes close as the laughs took over him, his teeth baring from the wide grin pulling at his lips. He continued to subtly watch as Jared slowly calmed himself and then ran his hand through his hair, leaning his head on his own arm going across the back of his couch, his head tilted as he gazed at Jensen with the most entertained smile.

“Yes,” he eventually replied, and Jensen was sure that voice had got deeper, “it means you get to see me in a wet suit. And changing into a wet suit as well.” He added, completely unnecessarily in Jensen’s mightily embarrassed opinion.

“Okay great good.” Jensen said as off handily as he could make it, only taking fleeting glances across at the very amused actor sitting opposite him, whose shoulders were beginning to shake with suppressed laughter again.

Jensen rolled his eyes and gave in.

“ _Okay_ fine you got me you’ve been here not even 5 minutes and you’re damned teasing me already! Fine come on get it over with.” He said, beckoning with his hands towards himself and facing Jared like a man ready to take his punishment.

Jared just threw his head back in another bout of laughter and then raised his palms, “Hey you’re the one who brought it up not me!”

“I said it was nothing you made me say it!”

“You didn’t have to!”

“Oh come on like I…I mean I couldn’t…”

Jared could not stop giggling, and Jensen just gave up, the pretence of a glare on his face instead.

“You make it too easy to tease you.” Jared said, shaking his head in amusement.

“Uh huh.” Jensen stared at him dead-pan, the embarrassment still there but somehow not feeling it as much under Jared’s beautiful happy face.

“Alright, I’m sorry,” Jared grinned, “but…you _really_ are fun to tease.”

Jensen didn’t say anything to that, just pretended to continue to glare at him, while hiding his smile through another swig of beer.

* * *

“…so I’m just careening down the mountain road right and I can hear my dad shouting THE BRAKES THE BRAKES but the brakes have gone through the bottom of the box man they are just _gone_ , and I’m trying to move it off the road but the whole connections broken right it won’t turn and the other racers are like OUT THE WAY OUT THE WAY and all of a sudden this girl from my school runs out in front of me, screams, I try to turn again and one of the front wheels hits a rock in the road right? The whole thing flips, I’m still in it, and it flips right over this girl like something outta the movies, lands back on the road and just carries on!”

Jared was laughing so hard he had tear tracks down his face, “What the hell happened next?” he managed to ask, his curled-up position on the couch now moved further towards Jensen, no longer leaning on the soft armrest.

Eight more empty beer bottles were on the coffee table, along with a now empty pizza box they’d ordered for dinner. Half pepperoni, half vegetarian. Jared had said he’d love to live on steaks and pizza all the time but he had to be careful of what he ate, being who he was, so went for the healthier pizza option.

“Well I actually made it to the bottom of the road in one piece, but at the end there was a curve and it just hits the sand at God knows how many miles per hour and I just _fly_ out of it and land in the biggest cactus I have ever seen. My God was picking thorns outta my ass for a whole week I swear.”

Jared was wiping at his eyes through his laughter, “Did you go back the next year?”

“Of course I did! Got disqualified the second I brought it out though.”

“Why?”

“’cause I practically built my own mini car. Kinda defeats the object of a soap box race if it had a custom built 3 geared engine attached to it.”

Jared shook his head, grinning, “That is an insane story.”

“That’s what my mom said when I got home looking like a porcupine.”

Jared dissolved into laugher again, and shuffled a little closer.

* * *

By the time there was a total of 14 empty bottles on the table, 7 each and the 8th in their hands, they had been talking and laughing for many hours. The beer wasn’t too strong brand, and as they’d been pacing it out they were both only a little tipsy, enough to be fully relaxed and enjoying each others company. It really was such a nicer environment to be away from the pressures of polite appearances at a restaurant. Here, with or without beer, Jared could take it easy and be himself, not having to worry about others watching him or random photos of him turning up online.

And Jensen couldn’t get enough of him.

Jared really was a very smiley person in real life, and that wasn’t something Jensen had heard about. His thoughtfulness and niceness towards his fellow cast was often mentioned, but never how much he smiled. Perhaps he didn’t smile like this around those he worked with?

Throughout the evening they had both moved from the corners of the couch right to the middle, and were turned towards each other as they talked. Jared still had his legs curled up underneath him, and his knees were touching one of Jensen’s, who had one leg curled underneath himself too while the other still rested on the floor. 

Jensen was so comfortable in talking with him that he hadn’t even really noticed just how close they had got. How the fact there was so little distance between them that Jared’s hand from his arm across the back of the couch was occasionally touching Jensen’s shoulder, sometimes creeping just slightly to the back of his neck, his fingertips brushing his hairline. But Jensen was happy and slightly drunk and oblivious because Jared was here talking and smiling at him and nothing else mattered. He just wanted to hear more about him, and he was warm and close and those eyes, oh he could drown in those eyes.

He was so lucky to have him here.

They’d broached the subject of the photo from the waitress earlier on in the evening, and how Jared had indeed had a dozen voicemails from his agency and various pushy paparazzi that had got a hold of his number somehow throughout the years. In the end Jared had told them, for once, that it was his business not theirs or his fans what he was doing on that dinner. Jensen liked to think that was his own influence, having asked him that question of did he really have to explain himself every time he did anything. Besides Jensen had already told those reporters the truth, what they did with that was up to them, Jared didn’t care. Jensen got the feeling that was the first time he’d stood up to them, and he definitely liked to think that was because of his own words.

Jared hadn’t actually seen the photo yet, so Jensen had got it up on his phone and held it out to him. Jared had moved a lot closer so they could both look, his head just inches from Jensen’s. It would be the first and only time Jensen would notice throughout the rest of the evening how close they were, before the alcohol would start making him too sappily happy just to have him here. 

With Jared looking at the photo, Jensen was looking at him. With just moving a little bit closer he could be nuzzling his hair, nose against the shell of his ear, lips whispering sweet nothings like in his dream. He could smell his shampoo again, just like when he’d written his phone number on the back of his greasy hand. Perhaps that’s why his hair was so fluffy, washing it in his trailer before heading home, leaving it to dry naturally as it looked.

God he’d do anything to touch that hair, to see if it felt as soft as it seemed, and his fingers clenched lightly as his side at the thought. He imagined what it would be like to run his fingers through it, softly, tenderly…clasping at it hard as he pulled Jared’s head back roughly to lick up the pulse point on his neck, Jared moaning in encouragement…

With all the effort he could muster he closed his eyes and turned away, looking back to the photo and fighting down the tightness in his jeans. He vaguely agreed when Jared said it was actually a good photo, and then swallowed away the lump in his throat, almost relieved when Jared leant back against the couch again.

That’s when Jensen made the excuse to get some more beer. He felt like he was going to need more to get through tonight.

Because of the beer though Jared finally got his wish for hearing more about Jensen, for the more beers he had the chattier he became about himself, and Jared would be grinning so genuinely interested as Jensen told him stories of his childhood and life in general. His first sneaky kiss with a girl behind the bike shed when he was 13. Seeing Jared’s first film, though admitting he wasn’t paying much attention in the movie theatre at the time because of…distractions. The fact he failed his first driving lesson, because apparently being able to do trick driving up the kerb already was not a legal requirement to pass ones test and was, funnily enough, rather frowned upon. 

As was donuting straight into a parallel parking spot.

“Oh the examiner was impressed, hell yeah, but it was still a big fail.”

The story about the soap box race had Jared laughing for a long time, as did one about how Jensen had once burnt his eyebrows off when stupidly messing around with a blow torch with his friends. But it was the fact he had never wanted to do anything than what he’d ended up doing right here, that’s the one that made the atmosphere around them feel so heartening and close, for this is what Jared wanted to hear about.

For as far back as he could remember Jensen just wanted to do what his dad did, learning on the job, never even bothering to save for a university education for he just wanted to finish high school and get in that garage. Everyone already knew he was the best mechanic out there even when he was still in school. With his dad falling into depression Jensen ended up doing more and more work in the garage until he took it over completely at 18, his dad signing everything over to him; the garage, the apartment, it all belonged to him.

“I can absolutely understand where you’re coming from,” Jared had said, “I did something similar with my acting. Straight outta high school, off to LA to seek my dream. Like so many others.”

He was smiling as he said it, but there was something off about his tone. Jensen couldn’t put his finger on it, or maybe he’d just had too many beers, but despite the many follow up questions he wanted to ask about how Jared got started he just…didn’t ask. It gave Jared the chance to continue.

“You told me, at the restaurant, that you were impressed with me for being so positive about my mom’s condition. Well I gotta say I’m very impressed with you. Your mom leaves when you’re 15, your dad leaves when you’re 18, yet when you talk about them it’s equally positive.”

Jensen just shrugged, “They both love me, they just both had their own issues to deal with. My mom phoned me every day for years after she left. She didn’t want to leave me, but she also knew there was no point in asking if I wanted to go with her because she knew my answer would be no. My life, my future, was this place.” Jensen said, looking around at the apartment, “I didn’t wanna be anywhere else. As for my dad, it was my idea for him to go. After he ended up in hospital I’m the one that suggested he move, start a fresh somewhere else, and he did, and now he’s happy. They both are.”

Jensen was quite comfortable talking about his parents and felt no sadness towards the situation he’d been in as a teenager, and yet it was at that point that Jared’s fingers had found the back of Jensen’s neck for the first time. It was like when Jensen wanted to comfort Jared about his mom, but in his case chose not to give in to the temptation of taking his hand in comfort. Jared however apparently held no such reservations. Jensen had smiled at him, too at ease with the conversation to even feel flustered about the fingers softly grazing his hairline.

“I guess we’re both impressed with each other.” Jared had said quietly, the small smile on his lips holding so much meaning.

Now though, with plenty of beers behind them and the feeling that anything, no matter how stupidly childish, could set them off laughing again, Jensen felt the happiest he’d felt in a long time. Almost curled up together, still facing each other, Jared’s hand still at the back of his neck and Jensen still just happy to have him here. Both of them were a bit foggy from the beer, and Jensen just couldn’t stop with that sappy smiling again. 

No matter how much they were talking however, and no matter the subject, at the back of Jensen’s mind there was a part of him that had been dwelling for the entire night about Jared’s words at the very start, about him being alone here. He had never thought of himself as being lonely, yeah he lived alone and worked alone, but there was always new people to be met every day coming into his garage…even if some of them were just passing through never to be seen again. Of course the locals came to him, or the other garage the other side of town, but…he supposed, aside from pleasant conversations here and there, he didn’t exactly spend time with any of them. He’d gone to see Jared’s movie alone, his friends had left…

“You really do enjoy your life here don’t you?”

Jared’s words brought him out of reverie.

“Yeah, I…I guess I do.” It was the first time ever that it was said with the slightest bit of doubt, though perhaps it was just the alcohol, “I have everything I want right here, how can you improve on perfection right?” he grinned.

Jared looked down for a moment, “I envy that.”

“You envy me?” Jensen said with surprise, “Why?”

Jared looked back up at his eyes, accompanied by a surprisingly sad smile, “Because you don’t have any worries in your life. You’re happy with what you have, who you are, you’re not wishing for more or for anything to change. I guess it’s just…” he paused, seemingly lost in memory, “…it’s nice to see people can be like that. To be honest and content with themselves.”

Jensen just gave a small little shrug again, and another smile, wanting to bring back that sparkling laughter on Jared’s face again, “I’m just your plain ol’ country boy.”

It worked, because Jared smiled at that, a proper lovely smile, “You’re far more than that.”

It was said so softly, Jared’s fingers caressing Jensen’s neck so delicately, and as if it was the first time Jensen realised those fingers were there the room suddenly felt very hot. He could feel his heart begin to race that little bit quicker, feel his breathing becoming that little bit more laboured as Jared’s words hung in the air between them. One of Jared’s knees was resting over Jensen’s now. Had he been sitting this close all this time?

In fact…wait, had Jensen’s hand been on Jared’s knee this entire time as well?

Before his alcohol fuelled brain could process any of this properly however, Jared suddenly yawned, bringing his other hand up to cover his mouth. Jensen looked at the clock on the wall, it was nearly midnight, and then he remembered that Jared had been up on set at 4.30 this morning after an equally late night at the restaurant last night too.

“Hey you know it’s getting late, and you’ve been up a real long time. Why don’t you…I mean we’ve both had a bit too much to drink I wouldn’t want’cha driving back so…so I was thinking…you know if you wanna crash on my bed I can sleep on this couch, it’s no problem.”

Despite the yawn, the gentle expression on Jared’s face from telling Jensen that he was so much more did not change. “You want me to stay…in your bed?”

It was almost a whisper, his eyes not once looking away from Jensen’s, and his fingers seemed to move further round the back of his neck. Jensen swallowed hard, finally realising precisely what he’d suggested, those fingers feeling like they were sending little currents of electricity down to his groin.

“And me on the couch.” He emphasized again, “I mean really do you think you should be driving?” he asked, looking to the collection of empty beer bottles they’d accumulated on the coffee table.

Jared still didn’t look away from him, not even to glance at the bottles “Probably not.” He said quietly, “Are you sure?”

Jensen nodded, “Yeah. Yeah come on, I’ll show you the bedroom.” He stood up, feeling Jared’s hand drop from his neck. He took just a moment to steady himself. “This way.”

Jared stood slowly in tow and followed him, but the moment Jensen opened his bedroom door and turned on the light, he sobered up almost immediately at the state his bedroom was in. He hadn’t tidied this part! He hadn’t exactly been expecting Jared to see his bedroom, and with a sudden high nervous laugh and a flush to his cheeks he quickly ran to the clothes lying all over the floor.

“Errr, aha ha, yeah well, ignore the, erm,” he quickly shoved the clothes he’d picked up over a pair of worn boxer shorts laying in full view, picking them up with the pile, “j-just ignore the mess, I-”

Oh _God_ there were _certain used tissues_ that had missed the bin oh fuck he prayed Jared hadn’t seen those as pounced on them, hiding them amongst the clothes.

“I err, um I wasn’t…exactly expecting…” he trailed off, arms full of clothes, paperwork, sticky dried tissues and general stuff he’d run out of table space for and had just ended up on the floor. “Sorry.” He said dimly, embarrassed as hell at revealing what an absolute slob he actually was once work was over for the day.

As per usual, Jared was just grinning at him, slightly cheekily again. Jensen could almost feel the desperate need Jared had to tease him over it, but this time it seemed he was going to keep it in check.

“I shouldn’t worry, you should see the state of my motel rooms once I’ve been in them for a few days.”

Jensen smiled sheepishly at him. “Well...er, bed sheets were fresh on yester- no wait I’ll get you some clean ones.” Jensen said, mentally kicking himself that how could he offer a dirty bed to Jared Padalecki! Even if it had only been one night used.

After all, he had to change them yesterday after that very vivid and filthy dream.

“ _Jensen_.” Jared placed his hand on top of Jensen’s on the pile of clothes as he tried to hurry past in a fret, “It’s fine as it is, really.” He added in a soft chuckle.

Jensen glanced back to his bed, unconvinced “Really?”

“Really.” Jared repeated, “It’s the offer that counts, and…you’re right, I really shouldn’t be driving.” He admitted, “I am very tired and the beers have not helped.”

“Well…okay. Lemme just dump this somewhere and get some stuff for the night then.”

He hurried past him through the door, not-so-subtly trying to hide all the junk in his arms as he did. Looking around he decided to shove everything he was carrying into a large cupboard where he kept his seldom used cleaning supplies. Gathering some supplies for Jared, namely a nice clean towel and spare toothbrush, he grabbed some blankets and clean boxer shorts from his room and headed over to the couch.

“You know if you wanna borrow something…err, anything you know, clothes, just help yourself.” Jensen said, looking up as Jared came out of the bathroom and stood in the bedroom doorway looking back at him.

“You really gonna sleep on that couch?” he asked.

“Of course.” Jensen said, obviously, “Where else would I sleep?”

Jared’s eyes went wider for a moment, like in surprise, before his lips tugged up in a coy little smile and he looked away. Jensen was sure his cheeks went a little redder too.

“You really are a proper southern gentleman, aren’t you?” Jared said softly, looking back to him.

“Well shit no one’s said that about me before.” Jensen chuckled lightly, walking back over to him, “They say I swear too much, I get that quite a lot.” He added, the alcohol still perhaps making him talk more than he should, “And I was about to say that I could say the same about you but actually? I think I’ve changed my mind. You enjoy torturing me too much to be a proper Texas gentlemen.” He teased.

A wide grin erupted on Jared’s face, “Well that is true.”

There was a pause between them as they smiled at each other, and then suddenly Jensen’s smile dropped and he took in a breath of surprise when Jared slipped his arms around his waist and hugged him, pulling him bodily close, head tucked down at his neck. Jensen blinked over his shoulder, his arms coming up around him but not really knowing what he should do with them. They just hovered above him for a few seconds before gently placing them around his shoulders, gently hugging him back. Jared’s hair was pressed up against his cheek, his entire tall form engulfing him whole.

“You’re a good man.” Jensen could feel Jared’s breath at his neck, “Thank you for letting me stay.”

“Any…any time.” Jensen exhaled carefully, his eyes closing at finally feeling just how soft that hair was, and he may have subtly nuzzled it, just a little bit, just like he’d wanted to do earlier.

The heat coming off this giant frame was warmer than any beer had made him feel tonight. Jared smelt so good, like everything Jensen had ever wanted all wrapped up in one beautiful soul. He nuzzled him a little closer, his lips parting, Jared’s hair brushing sensually against them, those long arms wrapping around Jensen’s waist a little bit tighter…

Oh God he felt so good.

He was just about to put more pressure into his hug, the shock of it finally leaving so he could get into it, to hold him even closer, when Jared pulled away. Jensen felt just a little dizzy, like he couldn’t get his eyes to blink co-ordinately.

“Goodnight.” Jared said softly, and Jensen took a breath as if to say goodnight back but found he couldn’t get any words out, Jared’s arms slipping from around his waist and that warmth suddenly gone.

Jared slowly closed the door to the dumbfounded Jensen, still just standing there staring at him, and just before the door closed Jensen saw a wonderful adoring smile break out on Jared’s face.

“Go-goodnight.” Jensen stuttered out to the closed door.

* * *

When the alarm went off on Jensen’s phone the following morning, his sleepy brain had forgotten where he’d been sleeping and rolled over to grab it from his nightstand only to roll off the couch, landing with a thump on the floor.

“Oww.” He murmured, face down on floorboards.

Slowly untangling himself from the blanket and the floor he knelt up and yawned widely, running his hand through his hair making it stick up everywhere. He blinked blearily over to his bedroom. Two thoughts occurred to him at the same time. One, was the memory that Jared was sleeping in there, and the second, was that he’d taken things out of his room for the night but had completely forgotten about clothes for the morning. 

“Oh shit…” he murmured, blinking groggily up at the clock and the fact he had to go down to the garage to start work. 

He slowly stood up, and then began to stagger over to the various places he’d hidden stuff out of sight before Jared got here, picking through the pile of dirty clothes he’d hidden too. But he had nothing around that he could wear, nothing he’d dare wear again anyway.

He had no choice, he was going to have to go in.

Yawning again, Jensen walked up to his bedroom door and knocked on it very quietly, “Jared?” he whispered, “Are you awake?” He knocked lightly again, barely loud enough to be heard at all, not wanting to wake him if he was still asleep.

With no answer, Jensen slowly and quietly moved the handle down, and pushed the door open.

“Sorry man but can I come in?” he whispered, poking his head around the door, “I forgot to get any clo-“

Jensen, it appeared, was not the only one who hadn’t got any clothes.

It seemed Jared hadn’t taken him up on his offer of borrowing anything he wanted to wear for the night, and Jensen could do nothing but stare, his heart beating like a hammer in his chest at the sight before him. 

Jared was lying on his front, his arms up underneath the pillow clutching it to him where his face was buried in it. The bedcovers had moved down in his sleep, not just to his shoulders, or his even to his waist. They were in fact, barely covering the top of his ass, the first hint of the little dip between the cheeks just teasing at the top. His breathing was slow, his hair in a ruffled mess, and he was completely fast asleep.

The grip Jensen still had on the door handle was beginning to hurt.

Every possible bodily or mental function had ceased as he stood there staring at him. Well, all but one, and the early morning hardness in his boxers was now very much paying attention. His mouth had gone exceptionally dry, unable to close his lips as he tried to will his brain to work, to move, to do anything other than stand there like a slack jawed moron.

With more effort than it should take this early in the morning, Jensen finally released the door handle, his hand blotchy white and red where he’d been gripping it so hard. He took once step into the room, before screwing his eyes tightly shut and tearing them away from Jared’s body, finally remembering that he’d like to think of himself as a decent human being.

At least he hoped he was.

Though his eyes didn’t seem to think so, as they opened again and kept flickering back to him as Jensen moved as quietly as humanly possible around his room, taking out his clothes for his work day. His traitorous eyes kept on looking at that smooth skin on Jared’s back, those biteable shoulder blades, the little dip at the small of his back… the rise of those sweet cheeks and the dark dip between them…

Jensen swallowed heavily and tore his gaze away again, knowing this was all kinds of wrong. He just needed his clothes dammit!! He also needed new underwear though, and he was dreading that because the draw for those was his nightstand, the one right by Jared’s head.

Creeping around his own bed, swearing in his head telling himself off every time his eyes wandered back to that displayed body, Jensen crept up to his nightstand. Gritting his teeth he slowly, ever so slowly, tried to pull open the wooden draw. It scraped against its sides, and Jensen immediately paused, eyes tightly closed at the noise. He bit his lip, pulling it again, another scrape. 

When he opened his eyes, Jared was looking right at him.

Jensen stared back at him, absolute panic surging through him, before he tried to put on the calmest face he could.

“Sorry,” he whispered, “didn’t mean to wake you. I just…I forgot to get any clothes and I’ve gotta go down to work.”

Jared, who had turned his face to the side out from being squashed into the pillow, just gazed at him, a sleepy little smile on his lips.

“’s okay.” He whispered back, stretching his arms a little underneath the pillow, making his back arch that Jensen’s eyes flickered to for barely a quarter of a second before he pulled them back again.

He was so glad there was only the light from the doorway in the room so Jared hopefully couldn’t see how red his face was.

“I’m gonna go now,” Jensen continued to whisper, having grabbed what he needed from the draw and desperately needing to get out of that room, “but um, you know stay as long as you like, there’s no rush. Have a shower, help yourself to what’s in the fridge, whatever you like…I’m just gonna be downstairs.” He finished, before giving him the most awkward smile and then trying to dash from the room without making it look like he was dashing from the room.

As the door closed, throwing the room into darkness aside from the sunlight coming around the edges of the curtains, Jared stretched again, properly this time. He leant up on the balls of his hands arching his back even more, a nice satisfying crack sounding. As he collapsed back to the bed though, he blinked, feeling where the bedcovers had just slipped off from. He moved around onto his side so he could look down, and saw the covers now around his thighs.

He stared at them, stared at the door, stared at the nightstand, all in the gradual realisation of what state he must have been in while Jensen was here.

The most bashful grin came to his lips, and he buried his head in the pillow again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a whore for comments please leave me love <3


	4. “I just wanted to see you."

If Jensen thought yesterday had been chaotic with the paparazzi, it was nothing compared to today.

The morning had started off promisingly enough. Jared had been _sort of_ correct when he’d said the press shouldn’t bother Jensen again, as it was only two reporters that turned up this morning, hoping to get their hands on more personal one to one information with Jensen now the crowds from yesterday were gone. But that’s all it took for the chaos to restart. Just two reporters, knowing that Jared hadn’t gone back to his motel room last night as they’d been staking the place out and were now sniffing around Jensen as a possible reason.

Jensen hadn’t given them anything, telling them once more to fuck off, and they were just about to leave when Jared chose that particular moment to leave the apartment. Walking down the outer staircase in full view of anyone down below, his hair was still adorably ruffled from sleep and…dear God, he’d borrowed one of Jensen’s tank tops, a black one, showing off those gorgeous arms. Slightly stockier than Jared, Jensen’s top hung just a little bit looser on him, the breeze catching the ends and blowing it up showing off Jared’s taut stomach as he came down the stairs. When the two reporters saw him their eyes easily could have taken on the form of dollar signs, and that’s when all hell broke loose once again.

Jared Padalecki, caught leaving the apartment, _in the morning_ , of the guy he’d had dinner with who swore that they weren’t dating.

And was wearing his clothes.

Not that they knew that, thankfully.

Jensen figured paparazzi must have some kind of parasitic connection to each other, for it wasn’t long after these two had flashed their cameras and vocalised a stream of very personal questions towards Jared, that nearly all the reporters from yesterday arrived again shortly after Jared left.

With just the two reporters here now they didn’t give Jared a chance to say goodbye or anything else to Jensen. All Jared could do was throw a few _no comments_ at them and get into his Jeep to escape, sending Jensen a look of quick apology over their heads before he got inside. Seconds later before Jared actually drove off, Jensen received a text from him.

_Please just say no comment to anything they ask._

So that’s what he’d ended up doing, all day. Again. Once the word got out the locals started to arrive again too, and it was the chaos of yesterday once more.

To the press, a dinner was nothing, but a possible sex scandal? Now that’s what they were here for, and perhaps Jensen had moved up from not-important to possibly-interesting. The questions being shouted at him were certainly far ruder and personal, asking about his own sex life, education (why education??), and now out rightly accusing him of only being after Jared’s money because of where and how he lived, and what did he have to say about that?

Jensen was beginning to see red, and in between the hundreds of _no comments_ he was once more telling them all to fuck off. But this time that only seemed to make them cluster around him more, getting more personal with him noticing he got angrier the more pressure they applied, and he noticed photos of his garage and work space were now being taken. 

This was getting slightly terrifying now, like they were trying to cook up stories about who he was and what he was all about without knowing him at all. Like they were deliberately antagonising him to get some kind of stereotypical violent reaction from this crass, redneck southerner.

He desperately wanted to tell them all that everything they were imagining had _not_ happened with Jared, but he wanted to do what Jared had asked.

At first he wasn’t exactly sure why he should be saying no comment to everything. After all nothing had happened, they just talked, had a few too many beers and Jared staying the night, in a separate room, so he didn’t drive back drunk. It was hardly news worthy material.

But the more disgusting questions were thrown at Jensen, the more he understood. Any answer he gave them would never be enough, and would only be followed up by more questions. They’d never stop until they heard what they wanted, which for them would be nothing short of a scandalous affair where the good reputation of the sweet and well-behaved Jared Padalecki would be in tatters all over the front page of some sleazy tabloid. About him getting his brains fucked out by the local dumb hick (the questions about his education now made sense), meaning anyone was fair game, and he could already picture _‘Sluttylecki’_ being some stupid title that they’d come up with.

Despite wanting to punch every face that came into his view, Jensen did manage to keep his cool, but by 2 o’clock in the afternoon he’d had enough. Ordering everyone out of his garage, reporters or locals alike, he shut the doors, put on the closed sign, and got back to work inside on the few cars he could. The cars outside would just have to wait. At this rate he was going to have to get the other mechanic to come and collect them to work on them himself and apologise to his customers, again. This was now costing him business!

His landline phone was ringing off the hook like yesterday too. One of the reporters must have got a quick article or tweet or something out online about Jared supposedly sneaking out of his apartment after a night of whatever they wanted to imagine. He answered it occasionally, hoping it might be a customer, but otherwise this time just let his voicemail take care of them all. He was so far behind in his work. People still knocked on the garage doors, loudly and obtrusively, and Jensen was beginning to get a headache. He never worked with the doors closed, there was no air circulation, no way for the building heat to escape or the fumes from the oil and other substances.

The only thing that kept him going in fact, was the texts he and Jared were sharing.

There wasn’t many of them, Jensen assumed Jared was back on set and he himself was too busy elbow deep in car engines to be constantly replying. But the occasional little bleep and vibrating sound would pull Jensen away from under a hood, and he’d grin down at his phone.

Jared had apologised about the reporters, saying they’d caught him back in town and had told them all not to bother Jensen, not that they ever listened. _Isn_ ’ _t that the truth_ , Jensen replied, with a rolling eyed emoji. A bit later another text came through, Jared saying that he really enjoyed spending time with him last night, and that if Jensen wanted they should do it again sometime soon. 

_If. Jensen. Wanted??_

Was he serious?! Jensen had replied to that so quickly with a _yes definitely when are you next off_ that he typed it too fast misspelling almost every word, and his autocorrect ended up sending a message that made no sense whatsoever. _Fuck_! He typed it again slower this time, and Jared sent back a laughing face emoji followed by a _busy for 2 days then have evening off._

 _Great!_ Jensen replied with a grinning emoji _,_ and then had a thought, _I’ll take you to my one of my favourite views up near the mountains._

 _I’d like that_.

The random winking emoji that followed that had Jensen staring at his phone for a good few minutes while his brain reset the thoughts that came with it. There was so much happening between them he could feel it, and it felt so wonderful. He still couldn’t believe this relationship, on whatever level it was, was happening with the celebrity he’d had a crush on for years.

His mind had of course been running over everything that happened last night too, and the warm feeling he got just from sitting and talking to Jared, seeing him smiling and enjoying himself so much, oh it made Jensen wish the evening could have gone on forever. Now the alcohol had left his system, he realised that Jared had had his hand at the back of his neck for most of the evening, and Jensen kept rubbing the back of it in memory, that now regular feeling of fluttering in his chest increasing knowing that was Jared’s choice.

He liked him. He did, Jared liked him, and oh how Jensen grinned.

Being as busy as he was today may have been a good thing in the end, otherwise he would have spent far too long picturing what he’d seen in the morning as well. It’s like the image of Jared’s _almost_ exposed naked form had been burned into the back of his brain, and it would appear at random moments to make him blush as he changed tyres or fixed a crack in a windscreen. Jared Padalecki, naked in his own bed. Never in his wildest dreams would he image that would ever happen.

Well, actually that wasn’t technically true, his wildest dreams were VERY wild and Jared would DEFEINTELY be in his bed, but that wasn’t the point.

As he always did in his own imagination, he took things further than what had happened. In his mind Jensen would trail the tips of his fingertips up Jared’s back, right from that little dip, slowly up over his spine, between the shoulder blades, ending at the back of his neck nestled amongst his long hair. Jared would awaken, turn to look at him and he’d smile, those dimples catching the light coming from the doorway, and Jensen would melt into his out stretched arms as he’d turn towards him.

And then Jensen would _ravish_ him senseless.

More than once he snapped himself out of the daydream when he found himself bending down over a hood, having not moved in minutes, with nothing but a dopey smile on his face and a can of oil slowly leaking where it was progressively slipping from his hand.

Now knowing there didn’t seem to be a chance he’d see Jared again today, Jensen decided to carry on working on the cars throughout the rest of the evening to try and catch up. Texts were still being sent between them here and there, sometimes an hour between replies. But they were sweet and pointless texts, Jared mentioning the rock-climbing instructor they had on set bringing her 8-year-old daughter along today, asking so cutely for Jared’s autograph and letting her kiss him on the cheek. Jensen mentioned how annoyed he was that his toolbelt kept catching on random bits of engine. Jared laughed at the lines he’d messed up today. Jensen saying Jared hadn’t lived until he tried the locally made ice cream sold down at the local shop.

It was this comfortable banter that kept Jensen going. By the time he finally left the garage into the welcomingly cooler late desert evening, any people outside finally gone, he was exhausted and sweating and aching, but smiling very happily.

 _Night Jared_ , was the last text he sent him, before with all the sappily romantic and hot thoughts he’d been having all afternoon, decided to add a heart eyed emoji and sent it separately. Was that going too far? No…Jared had been winking at him at the thought of going to a romantic viewpoint alone together, it’d probably make him laugh seeing the heart eyes.

Slipping his now clean and refreshed self into bed, he remembered again that Jared had been lying right here all last night. Completely naked. His scent was still vaguely there, and Jensen pressed his face into the pillow grinning like a school boy. This was going to be a wonderful way to fall asleep.

If Jared replied to his text he didn’t know, because seconds later he was fast asleep, his body wearied, and his mind so blissfully contented.

* * *

A sharp banging on his front door awoke Jensen with a start. He looked around his dark bedroom blearily, wondering for a moment if he’d dreamt it. He peered with one eye to the digital clock on his night stand. It had just gone 3am. He jumped when the banging happened again.

“What the…?”

If this was the paparazzi trying a new approach, he really was going to punch whoever was the other side of that door. Grumbling and throwing back the covers, he grabbed a loose t-shirt and threw it on himself so he wasn’t answering the door in just his boxer shorts. As he padded out into his living room, the banging happened again, louder now he was closer.

“ _Alright alright!!”_ Jensen yelled angrily as he approached the door, “Do you have any idea what fucking time it is?!”

He yanked the door open hard to get it away from whoever was making all this noise, and looked up at…!

“Jared?” Jensen blinked in surprise, not just because it was Jared, but because of the shock of the _state_ of him, “What…are you alright?”

It was very obvious he was not alright. An extremely strong waft of alcohol had hit Jensen like a brick wall when he’d opened the door, and looking at him now Jared could barely stand up, swaying where he stood and hardly able to blink both eyes at the same time. His cheeks were blotchy through the wet tear tracks going down them, his eyes bloodshot and extra shiny from still unshed tears. His hair was a mess, like someone had been grabbing it roughly and ruffling it hard. He had that lost, puppy dog expression on his face, but this was not the one from his movies that made the girls swoon, this one was broken, heart-breaking, and crying out for help.

Jensen stared up at him in absolute disbelief, barely able to process what he was looking at. He went to open his mouth to ask what had happened, but then suddenly found Jared falling forward. Jared’s large hands reached out to cup Jensen’s face and then suddenly was kissing him, his lips pressed hard against Jensen’s as they tumbled backwards through the door.

Jensen’s eyes were _really_ wide open now, for this was not how he’d pictured their first kiss! The invading tongue was hungry and desperate, Jared moaning utterly shamelessly but not in any way that could be considered sexy. The taste and stench of alcohol was overpowering, and when Jensen’s brain clicked into place he pushed Jared away, hard.

“ _Whoa_ , what the- _easy_! What are you-“

But Jared grabbed him again by the front of his t-shirt, pulling him in, smashing their lips together again before stumbling slightly and ending up breaking the kiss, now biting at his jawline, teeth drunkenly scraping along the overnight stubble.

“J-Jared!”

“’s what you want, ‘s what I’m worth…” Jared slurred, before kissing him again, Jensen squirming in his arms and immediately pulling away again, coughing against the stench of the booze.

“What??” confused by the words at the end, “N-no! No way not like this!!”

But that didn’t stop Jared, he just latched onto his neck, kissing there instead, large wet licks and small nips and drunk or not it was sending waves of pleasure through Jensen’s body.

“Ja…red, Jared… _God_ I never thought I’d say this but _stop kissing me_!”

Jared looked up and tried to kiss him for a 4th time, but this time he tripped over his own feet and ended up falling into Jensen’s arms instead. With his tall form impossible to stay upright where he was leaning so heavily on Jensen’s body, he slowly began to slip through his arms to the floor, Jensen trying to hold him up but failing.

“Hold on what-, Ja-…Jared, hey come on get up, what’s happened what’s wrong with you??”

“’He’s right, isn’t he?” came a slurred whisper somewhere around Jensen’s hip, “Wouldn’t even be here if I hadn’t done it…”

“Who? Done what? What are yo- _JARED_!!”

Suddenly Jared had pressed his face right into Jensen’s crotch and was pulling at the waist band of his boxer shorts. Jensen’s hands had never flown so quickly down to try and keep them pulled up, trying to step back away, but Jared wouldn’t let go and was so out of it, either not hearing or not caring, and was fighting to pull them down again.

“ _Jesus_ fu-!! N-no, J-Jared…stop you’re…you’re so drunk… _WHOA_!”

The moment he felt Jared’s tongue press against the shaft of his cock through his boxer shorts Jensen’s hips jerked away and he dropped to his knees instead, the only thing he could think of to get it out of Jared’s line of sight. Jared’s hands were too uncoordinated to hold on at the sudden new angle so they fell back to his sides, leaning his forehead against Jensen’s shoulder instead.

“ _Fuck_!” Jensen breathed heavily, arms on Jared’s shoulders to both steady himself and keep Jared slightly away from him, waiting just a moment to calm that certain part of his body right the fuck down!

_What the hell was going on with him?!_

Exhaling a few deeper, steady breaths, he then grabbed Jared’s very wobbly head between his palms, cupping his jaw trying to hold his head up so he could look at him.

“Hey, hey look at me.” But Jared could barely keep his eyes open let alone hold his head up, “God how much have you drunk?” Jensen whispered, looking all over a face he now barely recognised, one that was very real and in a pain Jensen couldn’t yet understand.

“Ssssooo what?” Jared slurred again, “Ssoo I got a little drunk, that a crime?!”

Jensen just sighed. A _little_ drunk, yeah.

“Come on, up ya get.”

Jensen grabbed onto Jared’s shoulders again and somehow managed to haul him back upright onto his feet, unsteady on his own at the lumbering heavy weight trying to drape itself over him. Jensen held onto him as firmly as he could, one arm around his waist, the other palmed flat against Jared’s chest as he tried to keep him steady.

“You alright? Let’s get you over to the couch.”

“NO!” Jared suddenly yelled at him, pushing him away and stumbling over to the couch anyway, hitting the back of it and holding himself upright by his hands gripping the top.

“’s the only reason I got here.” Jared suddenly choked out, his throat constricting, his eyes tightly shut and breathing heavily, “But I don’t have a choice…he’ll show it he’ll show everyone…and what if that’s the only reason, huh? Am I even……he keeps wantin’ more and I…I _can’t_ …” His voice broke into a sob at the end, and tears began to drip off his cheeks onto the back of the couch.

“Jared…Jesus what the hell’s happened? Who are you talking about?” Jensen took a cautious few step towards him, not wanting to startle him in this state, “Look you’re not making any sense, let me just…come on just sit down, take a breath, tell me what’s happened.”

“NO!” he yelled again, pushing himself away from the couch and stumbling backwards, hitting the sideboard and sending the items on it crashing onto the floor.

Jensen ran over to him fast, arms around him again to try and help steady him.

“You _can’t_ know.” Jared cried, trying to paw at Jensen’s head but so drunk he just patted the air, “Not you, ya’ll ssooo lovely…” His voice turned almost sweet for a moment.

“Thanks.” Jensen grunted under the effort of keeping him upright.

Jared’s arms and legs seemed to be everywhere and everything was so damned _long_ , and suddenly he was gone again, slipping out from Jensen’s arms and stumbling out into the middle of the room.

“Fuck look at you.” Jensen murmured, very worried at this now he needed to get him to sit down and get some water in him. It was then a very terrifying thought occurred to him, “Wait did you _drive_ here like this?!”

“Yeah?!” Jared exclaimed, almost sounding offended, spinning round on the spot to face him and spreading his arms out wide, “So? Ya’ll worried for nothin ‘s’not like there’s nothin’ to crash into there ain’t nothin’ here!”

Jared’s Texan accent really came out when he was drunk, and Jensen hurriedly peered outside the window. There was Jared’s jeep, parked diagonally with the driver door still wide open in the middle of the driveway, a long line of wobbly tyre tracks leading up to it on the sand next to the road. Thankfully, _really_ thankfully, it appeared no paparazzi had followed him.

Right, this had to stop.

“Okay, you need to sit down.” Jensen said sternly this time, pointing the couch, “Sit there, stop moving around, and I’ll help you sort out whatever’s happened, okay? But first you’re gonna drink some water.”

He went to move towards the kitchen but Jared just glared at him, stumbling on the spot.

“Stop tellin’ me what to do!!” he yelled, like a child having a tantrum.

Jensen just pointed harshly back to the couch, _“SIT!”_

Jared flinched in surprise at the raised voice, the sudden anger in his eyes disappearing as suddenly as it came. He just stood where he was, still swaying, before that awful heartbroken puppy look came back on his face again and his bottom lip started trembling.

“I just wanted to see you…” He whined quietly, the tears gathering in his eyes again, “’cause you…you’re not like the others, maybe I could tell…I don’t know… I want to but…” His voice was getting erratic, breaths coming in shuddering starts and stops as the tears began to fall again, “No…he…he’ll show it. I just want him to stop. But he won’t…no, nnonnonono one can know, no one can know…I’m just… _it’s all my fault_ …”

Suddenly his chest began heaving with terrible sobs. He seemed to collapse in on himself, his long legs giving way as he crumpled to the floor, curling around himself making himself seem as small and as non-threatening as possible. His hands clutched at his own hair, burying his head in his arms as his entire body was now wracked with loud, awful sobs.

“ _Fuck_! Jared!”

Horrified, Jensen ran the few steps back over to him, sliding to his knees down in front of him and wrapping his arms around his shuddering shoulders as tightly as he could, “Hey, hey it’s okay. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to…look it’s alright everything’s gonna be alright. What is it you wanna tell me? What guy are you talking about is somebody hurting you??”

If anyone had hurt him Jensen would be on them like a bloodhound, he swore that right now. He could feel the protective urge flooding through every cell in his body, becoming angry on Jared’s behalf even though he had no idea what the hell was going on.

Though the distressing sobs didn’t subside, Jared untangled himself just enough that he could wrap his arms around Jensen’s chest and bury his head at his neck again. He gripped onto him so tightly, arms squashing him grabbing the back of t-shirt in fistfuls. Jensen cupped the back of his head gently, hand in his hair keeping him pressed to him as he felt the hot tears fall onto his neck.

“I hate it…but it was…m-my choice I can’t …s-she can’t know…I’m not worth……”

He trailed off, his cries becoming too much again, and Jensen began rocking him side to side, just slowly, one hand rubbing his back reassuringly.

“Shhhhh, its okay…” he tried to say soothingly, “I ain’t got no idea what you’re talking about Jared but whatever it is I’m here for you okay? Just let it out, it’s alright. It’s all gonna be okay.”

“Ah didn’t want to do it…” Jared continued to sob, clutching at Jensen’s t-shirt so hard, his voice barely recognisable, “Should’a g-gone home…s-so s-stupid…” He then suddenly pulled away and looked up at Jensen, his breaths coming in shaky gasps, so many drunken tears still falling, and his eyes…his eyes looked utterly defeated.

“’s the bane a my life, that decision.” He told him, as if that would explain everything, “An’ it won’t go away. He’s never gonna go away…”

Jared broke down again, trying to cover his face with his shaking hands, but Jensen just pulled him into another hug as he continued to sob loudly onto his shoulder.

In the end, Jensen wasn’t sure how long he knelt there, or how many of Jared’s tears were now soaked into his t-shirt, but when the sobs finally began to eb away all he knew was that his knees were killing him on the hardwood floor. But that didn’t matter. He continued to rock him gently, no more words being said, just being there for him, arms protectively tight around him.

Eventually the smallest whispered words came from those wet lips pressed to his neck.

“…I like you………”

He then felt Jared slump against him, soft steady breaths as the drink finally won and he passed out.

Jensen paused, “Jared?”

Soft snores greeted him in response. Jensen looked around himself, stuck in the middle of his living room floor on his knees with Jared’s entire weight now asleep against him.

He sighed, “Great.”

* * *

It took a long time to haul Jared’s completely unresponsive and uncooperating body into the bedroom, hands under his armpits as Jensen slowly shuffled backwards into the room. Somehow managing to haul him up he was unceremoniously dumped onto the bed. Jensen proceeded to take his shoes and socks off but then…paused. 

He should probably get him out of the rest of those clothes. There was obviously alcohol that had been spilt down the front of his shirt…

Jensen closed his eyes and shook his head to clear the thoughts that shouldn’t be there. Okay, so the jeans would stay on, but the shirt had to come off. Unbuttoning it Jensen eased Jared’s motionless arms out of it and threw it onto the back of a desk chair, before getting him under the bed covers, deliberately not letting his gaze linger over that chest. 

This was hardly the time.

Taking a wet cloth from his bathroom he then began to gently wipe at Jared’s face, cleaning the tears and sweat and general mess that being that drunk and upset tended to do to a face. Poor guy was going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning.

Speaking of the morning, Jensen thought he’d better move Jared’s jeep before anyone saw it or, you know, steal it, as it was sitting there with the door wide open. So making sure Jared was as comfortable as he could make him he went outside and parked the jeep round the back of the building, out of sight of the road and any nosy reporters. The keys had still been in the ignition.

Jared would be damned lucky if no one saw him driving off in that state, and he hoped for Jared’s sake any reporters still hanging around would have been gone by that time of night. Or even locals with their cameras on their phones. It was a good sign that no one appeared to have followed him, so perhaps he’d gotten away with it. He got the feeling the reporters that trailed Jared around were just waiting for him to screw up. He was too good, never did anything bad that they could get rich off of from publishing it first, but drunk driving at 3 in the morning would definitely classify as bad.

As they say, nothing makes the papers like a disgraced celebrity.

Heading back upstairs, Jensen sat at the edge of the bed, looking down at his sleeping, drunken star. He literally couldn’t imagine from Jared’s jumbled sentences what could possibly have happened. Nothing he was saying had made sense, but God he’d scared him, he really had. What decision was he talking about? What couldn’t anyone know? What was he afraid of people seeing? What guy was he talking about? Who was the ‘she’? Jensen had a million questions.

Whatever had happened must have happened quickly though. After all they’d been happily texting each other right up to when Jensen fell asleep, so Jared must have drunk a hell of a lot of alcohol in a very short space of time to get this badly intoxicated. It did sound like someone was doing something to him that he didn’t like, wanting him to stop…stop what?? Was he being stalked? If he was than Jensen would tell him in the morning to just go to the police.

Jensen ran his hands over his own face, up through his hair. What a nightmare.

As he sat there, his mind racing, he reached out to Jared’s hair, softly stroking his fingers through it and tucking it gently behind his ear. He looked so peaceful now, the pain and trouble on his face gone in sleep.

“What happened to you?” Jensen whispered quietly, watching his slow, calm breaths.

Well, there was nothing that could be done now, so it looked like it was another night on the couch for Jensen. Not that there was long left of the night now, he’d probably never get back to sleep.

Before he left though he placed a large glass of water on the night stand, along with a packet of painkillers, and then emptied his bedroom bin and put it right next to the bed, ready for when Jared woke up and would more than likely proceed to puke his guts out. As he put the bin down though, he heard Jared murmur something in his sleep. Leaning closer, he heard one tiny whispered word,

“ _Mom_ …”

The tug at Jensen’s heart at that was so strong he nearly went to hug him in his sleep, and he gazed at him with such empathy. The toughest man in the world would always cry out for his mom at his darkest moment, and whatever Jared had just gone through, well…

Jensen leant a little bit closer, and ever so gently placed a kiss on his forehead. He lingered there for a moment, a swell of affection and a desperate need to comfort him making him want to crawl into the bed next to him. He wanted to wrap his arms around him, pull him close, chase away whatever had caused all those hundreds of tears. Jared just seemed so lost, almost frightened.

Trapped.

But why?

As Jensen pulled away, he wondered if the ‘she’ Jared had mentioned in his drunken ramblings was his mom. And as much as he wanted to, he wouldn’t get into the bed. He doubted Jared would remember much with the state he was in, and the last thing he needed was to wake up next to Jensen wondering why he was shirtless, why he was in his bed again, or what they might have done together while he was so badly drunk.

So, grabbing the same blanket as before, Jensen reluctantly dragged himself back over to the couch, leaving the bedroom door open this time in case Jared needed him.

* * *

When his alarm went off on his phone 3 ½ hours later, Jensen was still wide awake. He idly turned it off without looking, still staring up at the ceiling, one hand behind his head and deep in thought. Just like he thought he hadn’t been able to sleep, too much to think about and too shorter time before he needed to be up again anyway. 

But he’d decided during that time, that he wasn’t going to open up the garage today. He’d phone the other mechanic, Paul, a little later, ask if he had enough time to pick up some of these cars and hand the business from them over to him. He didn’t want to leave Jared alone up here, he had to make sure he was okay, find out what had gone wrong and help him. He just had to.

There hadn’t been a sound coming from the bedroom all night, and as Jensen got up, he peered round the door just to check on him. Jared hadn’t moved an inch from where Jensen had tucked him in, his chest still rising and falling in show breaths.

Jensen nodded to himself, yawning, and headed over to the bathroom.

* * *

Two hours later, and the tell-tale sound of retching had Jensen quickly clambering back up from the couch where he’d been eating a late breakfast. About to run into his bedroom it was Jared that ran out, holding a hand over his mouth and stumbling into the bathroom instead. He must not have seen the bin.

Jensen grit his teeth in an understanding revulsion at the sound of Jared emptying his stomach into the toilet. He wandered in behind him, Jared on his knees leaning over the bowl, hands gripping the rim and head half way down it.

“There ya go.” Jensen said softly, kneeling down next to him and scooping up Jared’s hair away from his face to try and stop any sick getting on it, “Been waiting for this to happen. Get it all out, I got’cha don’t worry.”

Jared groaned loudly, then retched and threw up again, his whole body convulsing forward, the sickly sound of _stuff_ hitting the toilet water. Awkwardly gathering his hair up in one palm Jensen then used the other to gently rub his back in soothing circles, continuously murmuring words of comfort to him.

They ended up being there for quite a while, Jared throwing up what must have been his entire stomach contents and then some. Eventually he finally rested his forehead up against one of his arms, breathing heavily, his entire body quivering from all the exertion.

“Feeling better?” Jensen asked, still rubbing his back.

“No…” came the groggy reply, and Jensen let out a small chuckle at that.

Oh he’d been there before, he understood.

“You feeling up to going back to bed?”

A pause, then a small nod, and Jensen helped him back up. He was deathly pale and was squinting at the light, but at least he was walking.

* * *

Despite the questions Jensen wanted to ask, there wasn’t actually many words between them for the first couple of hours. Being so hungover and…rather ashamed of how weak and sickly he’d made himself in front of Jensen, Jared wasn’t exactly very chatty. But Jensen didn’t mind, he was going to give him all the space and time he needed to get his head around explaining that night away.

Jensen was trying not to let himself worry about the various phrases Jared had been saying, he didn’t want to add to Jared’s dread by acting all weird around him or demanding an explanation. So he just happily busied himself making sure he felt better, getting him to sit up against the headboard of the bed and tucking in the covers around his legs. He made sure he sipped his water slowly, took the painkillers, and fussed over him with a nice cool cloth patted over his face and neck.

Jared didn’t seem to mind one bit, and leant into the cloth with a contented murmur wherever Jensen pressed it. Occasionally they’d catch each other’s eyes, and Jensen would smile lightly at him, hoping he wasn’t over stepping any bounds. But Jared would just give him a small smile in return, before looking away, definitely cutely embarrassed. Jensen was sure he’d caught a blush a couple of times. Or maybe it was just the colour slowly returning to his cheeks.

In fact throughout all this fussing Jared just seemed to watch him silently, almost like he was so surprised someone was doing this for him.

The question remained exactly how much Jared remembered. He didn’t seem surprised to find himself here, so it seemed he at least remembered coming here, but had made no indication of what he did or didn’t remember. It made Jensen wonder, out of everything that happened, if Jared remembered kissing him.

Kissing him, and the… _other_ thing that he tried to do.

Jensen’s concern over Jared had thankfully outweighed having that at the front of his mind.

Eventually, seeming to be a little better, Jared made his way into the shower so he could start feeling human again, his borrowed toothbrush still there as Jensen hadn’t yet moved it. Jensen let him be and laid out one of his own button-down shirts for Jared to wear, another plaid one, this one red and black. No point in offering him a fresh pair of jeans, anything Jensen had would be far too short for Jared regardless of waist size. He then set about cooking him some…well, lunch it was now. Eggs and bacon on toast, miracle hangover cure as far as Jensen was concerned. 

Despite the hovering unknown worrying element to Jared’s surprise visit, Jensen was actually rather enjoying looking after him. It all felt so domestic, especially with the shower on in the background as he cooked in the kitchen. It felt just like their time together yesterday, talking on the couch, all natural and nice. And yeah the reason for this drunkenness was still a mystery, but he’d be here for him when he was ready, especially as Jensen also couldn’t forget Jared’s other words last night.

_“I just wanted to see you”._

He wanted to tell him something because he ‘wasn’t like the others’. Then he seemed to change his mind, saying that no one could know about whatever the hell he was talking about, but the fact Jared had come here, to Jensen, at his time of need…he’d said he liked him too…it made Jensen smile into his frying pan. 

Possibly brought in by the smell of the bacon, Jared soon padded slowly into the kitchen. His hand was rubbing one side of his face sleepily, and although he was wearing Jensen’s shirt he hadn’t buttoned it up at all, just left it hanging loosely at his sides, his jeans back on. His hair was towel dried and framing his face damply, and he did look a lot better from this morning.

 _He looked a lot more like his sexy self_ , added Jensen’s brain unhelpfully, almost wishing Jared had done that shirt up. There was going to be a serious conversation happening at some point this morning about last night and that chest was going to be a distraction.

“Perfect timing!” Jensen said cheerily, nodding down to the seat at the kitchen table for Jared to sit in, placing the freshly cooked eggs and bacon and toast on the table along with a very strong black coffee, “Now eat it slow.”

“Thank you.” Jared murmured with a weary smile, looking down at his surprise breakfast as he pulled back the chair, his eyes still rather bloodshot.

It was then the doorbell rang. That would be Paul. Jensen had phoned him shortly before Jared had woken up.

“Ah great he’s here. Look I’ll be downstairs for a short while. Eat up.” He winked at him.

It was indeed the other mechanic Paul, and his assistant, and Jensen took them down to the garage to hand over the paperwork for the cars they were going to be taking away, and explained what needed doing. On the phone he’d just told Paul that he was overrun with work and needed help, full payment going to him of course, and nothing more was said. As they now watched his assistant attach one of the cars to the tow truck they’d brought with them, Jensen couldn’t help but wonder why neither of them had asked why.

“You uh…you’re not wondering why I need the help?” Jensen enquired nonchalantly.

Paul just looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “You mean you _don’t_ have Jared Padalecki hidden somewhere upstairs?” Jensen should have known, and his expression must have said it because Paul let out a deep laugh, “Ackles everyone knows what’s going on with you. What did you do with all the reporters, bury them out back?”

“Don’t give me ideas.” Jensen murmured darkly.

Well, at least he wasn’t badgering him for information, about the only person who wasn’t in this damn town. Paul was an older far more professional man, and hey he was getting more money out of this deal so it seemed he wasn’t going to press on the details. 

With everything handed over, Jensen thanked them both and waved them off. They’d be coming back a few more times to collect some other cars but Jensen didn’t need to be down here for that. Returning to his apartment, he found Jared still sitting at the table, his half-drunk cup of coffee in his hands. Jensen looked to his sink. Jared had done the washing up.

“Hey you didn’t have to do that.” He said, nodding to the dishes dripping on the stacker.

Jared just gave him a weak smile, “Least I could, considering what you’ve put up with from me.”

Jared dropped his gaze to the table, a serious and rather ashamed expression on his face, his brow furrowed in that puppy dog look again. At least this time it wasn’t so desperate looking. Jensen watched him for a moment, before sitting down at the table opposite him.

It seemed this was the moment.

“You wanna tell me what last night was all about?” he asked quietly.

He finally breached the subject, watching as Jared took in a deep breath, releasing it in a slow sigh. He looked up at him sheepishly.

“I don’t remember _everything_ , but…I remember enough that I’m really, _really_ sorry that you saw me like that. And the fact you’ve done all of this for me this morning, taken such good care of me…you really are a good man.” He smiled timidly, “There should be more people like you in the world.”

Jensen just gave him a bright smile in return, happy to take the compliment, “Well it’s not like I was gonna throw you out in that state.”

Jared’s lips twitched in a smile again, then looked back down at the table, “Look before I say anything else I wanna promise you that the…issue, I was dealing with, was not as bad as I made it out to be. I was very drunk and got very emotional, and the result was it came across far worse than it actually is.”

“Really?” Jensen said doubtfully, “’cause I have never seen anyone cry like that before.”

Jared flushed a little, “Yeah, I’m…actually really mortified about that.” He tucked his head a little lower, and cleared his throat, “I should never have got that drunk in the first place. I shouldn’t have let it affect me like it did, and I _certainly_ should never have come here to involve you. I am sorry.”

“Hey man I don’t care that I’m involved, I’m glad you came here.” Jensen replied honestly, “I just wanna know that you’re alright. I mean this _issue_ , can I help? Is there anything I can do?”

Jared gazed up at him, that surprised look in his eyes again that turned wonderfully soft at Jensen’s words, “No, and…and I know you really deserve an explanation, but I can’t give you one and I’m sorry for that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t give _anyone_ an explanation.”

“Because _no one can know_?”

Jensen repeated Jared’s words from last night, and Jared nodded numbly, looking down again. He looked so lost, he’d wanted to tell Jensen something last night, it was obvious, and had been talking himself in and out of it. Jensen was itching to know what it was but…this morning? It seemed it was a resolute no.

Instead, Jensen did the one thing he’d wanted to do at the restaurant.

Jensen removed the cup of coffee that was now going cold in between Jared’s hands, and then covered them with his own on the table between them. Curling his fingers around Jared’s palms he squeezed his hands in a quiet encouragement. Nothing was going to stop him from giving him a comforting touch this time, for Jared looked in desperate need of one. Jared looked at their hands a little bewildered, the tiniest blush tinting his cheeks, before he looked back up at Jensen’s eyes.

“Look, I’m not gonna ask what happened or what you did,” Jensen said, despite really wanting to know, “it’s none of my business, and if you wanted me to know, you’d tell me. But if you _do_ want to tell me, at any point, I’ll listen. I’ll totally be here for you, I mean that. But right now? After seeing how distressed you were last night, blaming it on the alcohol or not…all I want to know is that you’re okay.” He paused, looking at Jared seriously, “ _Are_ you, okay?”

Jared gazed back at him, his expression oddly unreadable.

Jensen’s hands were so warm in his own.

“I am.” Jared said, and it came out more of a whisper, not looking away from him at all. Jensen gave him a look, raised questioning eyebrows, and this time Jared smiled, “Really.”

Jensen gave him that look for a moment longer, before relaxing a little and smiling back at him, “Good.”

He squeezed Jared’s hands again, running his thumb over the back, and Jared’s fingers curled around Jensen’s underneath. 

“Did um……did I say anything that actually made sense to you?” Jared eventually asked, in a cautious tone.

“Honestly?” Jensen said, “You scared me a little. You were saying all kinds a weird stuff. You mentioned some decision that you obviously regret. About not wanting something shown and… about some guy who won’t stop doing something. Is someone hurting you?”

He’d been dying to ask that question all morning.

“So, I didn’t really…you couldn’t tell what I was talking about?

Jensen blinked at him. Well that was certainly not a subtle avoidance of the question.

“Jared, _is someone hurting you_?” he repeated with a concerned glare.

Jared just looked at him, and for a moment a flicker of what was definitely hesitation went across his face, “I just said I was okay.”

“Yeah, but…”

“I’m _okay_.” Jared emphasised, this time giving him a little reassuring smile, “Look just, did I say _anything_ that made sense to you at all? Anything?” 

Jensen looked at him suspiciously, but decided not to push it. He thought for a moment, running through everything Jared had said last night in his mind, and then shook his head, “Not really.”

Jared let out a small, very obviously relieved sigh, and he seemed to melt into his chair in relaxation, “Okay. Good.” He then realised how strange that sounded, and gave Jensen an apologetic look, “I’m sorry, I just can’t tell you. It’s complicated and…” he trailed off, looking so pained, and at that look Jensen just shook his head.

“No, you don’t have to explain anything, just so long as you’re sure you’re okay.”

Jensen didn’t want to be the one to cause that look on his face. If he said he was okay, he’d believe him, and if Jared ever wanted to tell him more, he’d be here. He’d never be able to forget the terrifying sobs that overcame him last night, and yeah alcohol could do that to people so maybe…maybe it wasn’t as bad, just like Jared had said.

A part of him deep inside didn’t believe it for a second, but it wasn’t his place.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” Jared continued quietly, “And for saying all the things you’ve been saying, you’re…uh…” Whatever he was going to say made a very obvious blush appear, and instead he changed the subject, “Has any of this…I mean you mentioned going to a place up in the mountains, would you still…you know, do you still want to do that?”

“Are you fucking _kidding_?” Jensen exclaimed, genuinely shocked, “This hasn’t changed anything of course I want to take you up there! It’s beautiful! One of my favourite places round here!”

Jared smiled in such obvious relief. Is that what he’d been worrying about this entire time? That Jensen wouldn’t want to see him again?

Another one of Jared’s broken sentences popped into his mind,

_“…I’m not worth…”_

He squeezed his hand. He wasn’t sure why, but he squeezed it nonetheless.

“That’s good.” Jared breathed happily, “Look I uh…I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done but, I think I really better go. I was supposed to be on set 4 hours ago and I don’t even know where my phone is, they’re all gonna be freaking out.”

“Oh no no no, no way. You think you’re going on to set not a chance.” Jensen shook his head, releasing his hold on Jared’s hands and standing up, “I’ll find your phone, you stay here and relax, this is a day off.”

“I can’t just take a day off. Do you have any idea how much money they lose by missing just one planned day?”

“I don’t give a _shit_ how much money they’ll lose, their star is sick for the day he can’t come in!” Jensen demanded, “Besides, Jared no offense at all but your eyes,” he waved two fingers between his own two eyes, “they’re a dead giveaway on just how hungover and quite possibly still drunk you really are.”

Jared raised his eyebrows in alarm, “Really?”

“I doubt red and bloodshot is a good look for your movie, right?”

Jared let out a small laugh and bowed his head, “No, I guess not.”

“Yeah. Now I’ll go and see if your cells in your car, then we’re both gonna relax, watch some daytime tv, and in your case drink water and take painkillers.”

Jared looked up at that, “You’re not working today?”

“Nope, this is a day off, my choice, perks of being my own boss. So we can sprawl out on the couch watching crap and eating crap. Sound good?”

Jared stared up at him, his expression full of such honest surprise and wonderful gratitude, before the first genuine warm smile of the day greeted his lips, “Sounds great.”

Jensen nodded pleased at him, and went to turn to find the phone before he paused, placing his hand on the kitchen doorframe. There was still one question that needed answering. He turned back to him.

“Say, uh…do you um…do you remember kissing me?” he asked, very quietly.

He had no idea what the outcome of this line of questioning was going to be, but…if they were going to spend the day together he really needed to know.

Jared stared at him wide eyed, before a clear flush came onto his cheeks, “Oh God I thought I’d dreamt that.” He murmured, and then somehow flushed even redder as another thought obviously came to him, “Wait…does that mean I tried to…”

Swallowing heavily, his eyes dropped just for a second down to Jensen’s groin and back up again. Jensen smiled a little awkwardly, and yet somehow teasingly, raising his eyebrows in a way that said yes, you tried to do _that_.

Jared’s flush paled almost immediately, “Oh God…I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I didn’t, I wasn’t…”

Despite everything Jensen had no control over the sudden delighted laugh that escaped him. The look on Jared’s face was just so funny, his blush coming back in full force so much that he hid his head in his arms on the table. “I’m so sorry.” He kept saying, muffled by his arms that just made Jensen want to laugh even harder.

“Jared, Jared it’s okay,” he said, trying not to laugh but it was really hard, “no harm done. And really you know it’s kinda weird hearing an apology for an almost blow job, people don’t normally apologise for those.”

Jared slowly peered up at him. They stared at each other for a moment. Then a moment longer. Jared’s lips began to twitch. Suddenly there was an explosion of laughter from them both, the sound filling up the apartment, Jared shaking his own head appalled at his own behaviour but grinning so much it was hurting his cheeks.

“Oh man don’t make me laugh.” Jared moaned, still laughing as he held an arm across his stomach, “You’re gonna make me throw up my breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suspect you have questions. 
> 
> Tough ;)


	5. “Are you ever going to kiss me?”

For Jensen, the rest of the day was some wonderful, surreal dream, spent once more in the company of the most beautiful man he had ever met. A slightly secretive one perhaps, but beautiful, and not just in looks any more either, not now he’d gotten to know him so well.

Especially after today.

Jensen had found Jared’s cell phone on the floor of the passenger seat in his Jeep, and when he handed it back to him wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed to find Jared had finally buttoned up his shirt. He told Jared where he’d moved the Jeep after the way Jared had ‘parked’ it last night, and Jared looked even more horrified having no memory of that at all.

There were nearly thirty missed calls and some voicemails from three different numbers. One had been the directors PA, the first one to call asking where he was as they were nearly ready to start shooting and Jared wasn’t there. A few phone calls later and the director himself was calling, obviously trying to remain patient and not come across as angry as he was that Jared had not turned up so where the heck was he. The third, some more phone calls later, was his frantic agent, telling Jared for the love of God call them was he okay what had happened?!?!?

They sounded like a few more absentee phone calls and they’d be sending out a search and rescue.

Jared called them all back. He apologised truthfully, but then put his acting skills to good use and lied through his teeth that he’d been very ill during the night with some kind of stomach bug and had only just woken up, and was extremely sorry but he didn’t think he could make it out of bed today (he was obviously not going to admit that he’d drunk himself into a stupor). Explaining he should be fine to come back on set tomorrow, Jensen could then hear the director say something that Jared replied with to with a very hasty;

“ _No no!_ No one has to come to my motel! I’m fine really I’ve got everything I need here. I’ll be okay no one has to check on me, I’ll just rest and be back on tomorrow I’m sure.”

Jensen smirked to himself. Naughty naughty liar liar Jared.

While Jared lied to his colleagues Jensen did a quick search on the gossip sites on his own cell phone about any sign of Jared driving drunk last night. Thankfully there was nothing and that was such a big relief, for that would have been all Jared needed right now. What he did find was photos of himself from the paparazzi, and really, they weren’t flattering ones. It looked like it was one of the many times he’d been swearing at them, looking angry and fed up, and it seemed there were people gossiping in the comments underneath. He quickly got the hell out of there, he did _not_ want to know what people were saying, mainly because he suspected it would just piss him off. Still, informing Jared that the world appeared to be ignorant of his illegality put a much relieved smile on the actor’s face.

His reputation wasn’t ruined quite yet then.

After that, the rest of the day was theirs, and watch a lot of crap tv they did. Sprawled out on the couch together, legs up on the coffee table, no space between them this time they were right side by side. They talked once again about any subject, words flowing so easily as though they had been friends for years. In the background played a daytime tv doctor show, then a cop show, then a talk show, on and on it went, and on and on they would bask in each other’s company.

Jensen would get up occasionally to get a snack and a fresh drink of water for Jared, making him drink it whether he was thirsty or not. He had a lot of fluids to replace he was going to listen to him. In fact he fussed over him so much that at one point Jared just fell about laughing, adoring Jensen’s very cute pout as he retracted his offer of the water bottle with the built in sippy straw so it would be easier for Jared to drink.

He just wanted to make sure he was comfortable, was that so bad?

Somehow it felt like a big step, but during their talking Jared had begun to tell stories of his own childhood this time. As a truck driver his dad would be away for weeks, sometimes months at a time, which meant it was mainly his mom that had raised him. He got his love of acting from her, watching her from as young as he could remember singing along to soundtracks of musicals while she did the housework. As he got older, they’d act out scenes from movies or plays in the living room together, spending any time that wasn’t doing homework playing and acting with her.

His father had never approved. A typical old fashioned man he wanted his son to be outside playing sports with friends, or learning from his old man all about trucks ready to follow in his footsteps, not running around the house with his mother all day reciting stupid movie scenes. 

Because of this Jared had not had many friends as a child, he’d always been too small for his age and too much a ‘mamma’s boy’, the kids bullying him for reading Shakespeare in his own time. Jensen laughed then, not because of the bullying, but just not believing for a moment that Jared had ever been _small_.

With a grin Jared assured him he was, but then just before he turned 16 had shot up so fast that within three months every single piece of clothing he’d owned was too short. He’d gone from being one of the shortest to one of the tallest in his class, and suddenly people treated him _very_ differently.

The most shocking subject of all though _,_ Jensen thought, was that this conversation then led on to Jared speaking about his first ever relationship, and the fact it was with a guy. Well, if you could call awkward teenage fumbling’s in the boys toilets at high school a relationship. Jensen had grinned at that image, and wondered if the boy ever realised just who in the future he’d had his hands all over.

“So you’ve always known…who you liked?” Jensen asked as casually as possible. 

With his own discovery of liking men much later in his life, he was genuinely curious what it was like to know who you were right from the start.

Jared gave him a small, thoughtful smile in response, “I suppose I just like people who like me back.” He looked at Jensen for just a little bit longer then, before carrying on, “Back at school I’d always been so used to being small and ignored that whenever I was actually paid attention to I’d just kind of grin at them, and try to be as friendly as I could. But then after my growth spurt I was suddenly inundated with all kinds of people finding me attractive and I…may have got a little lost in it all.” He said, a little embarrassed “So many people were suddenly looking at me in ways I’d never been looked at before and I kind of just...didn’t really see what they were after.”

Jensen frowned, “What d’ya mean?”

Jared looked to him, pressing his lips together in a half smile, giving him a little shrug, “It ended up teaching me a hard lesson, that some people didn’t care how friendly you were so long as you looked good. You’d be amazed how shallow people can really be.” Jared said, the dejected undertone really hitting home and making Jensen wonder exactly how many times Jared had let himself be open with people only for them to walk all over him.

“Someone would ask me out, I’d say yes because _hey_ they were talking to me, and suddenly I was being paraded around the school on their arm listening to them announce how they’d grabbed the hottest guy in school. But then whenever I’d try to just _talk_ to them, or go and do nice, normal couple things together instead of just making out all the time, they’d get bored with me. I wanted to spend time getting know them, but…” Jared shrugged again, looking down at his fingers in his lap, “the week after I’d be dumped, and find myself being paraded around on someone else’s arm instead. I wasn’t like the other kids, I didn’t want to sleep around I just wanted a girlfriend, or boyfriend whatever, just someone I could be me with, y’know?”

He peered up at Jensen again, that soft little smile back, and it almost felt as if he was trying to communicate something through it.

Jensen just smiled kindly back at him, “Well, their loss.”

All Jensen could think about now though, was how extremely hyper aware he was that since meeting Jared they had been doing exactly what Jared had described; talking, doing couple things like that dinner, getting to know each other. It made him want to grin that these were all obvious plus signs in Jared’s book and it made him feel extra, extra proud of himself for being the good man Jared kept telling him he was.

He was even more proud now that he hadn’t given in and kissed him in the impala that night, and also Jared’s little look of shock at the time now made sense. It’s not what he’d been expecting. He was Jared Padalecki, everyone just wanted to jump into bed with him what else mattered, so when all Jensen had done is say “You’re welcome” instead of kissing him…Jensen really was finding it hard to hide his grin. He felt like he wanted to puff his chest out in pride that he’d done all the right moves.

He thought back to Jared’s Wikipedia page, and the three awful sounding people he’d dated while he was famous. What was wrong with all these people?! Were they blind?! How did none of them see the beautiful soul right in front of them? Sometimes he was glad he lived in a small town like this, where helping each other and being kind was second nature.

Well, most of the time. Unless gossip was involved in which case a town like this was a fucking nightmare.

Jensen also understood now why Jared didn’t want to talk much about himself at the restaurant. How many times had he tried to just be his smiley self and talk about the things he liked, when the person opposite them couldn’t have cared less what he had to say and only had one thing on their mind?

It was a strange thing to realise, because technically Jensen very much had that one thing on his mind, but the difference was it was one of _many_ things on his mind. He loved listening to him talk, about anything it didn’t matter the subject, but especially when he’d got all enthusiastic about that Soul Survivor movie at the restaurant. His eyes had lit up and those dimples were just like caverns…but then he remembered how Jared had stopped himself, apologising for talking too much.

Man, Jensen really wanted to gather together anyone who had ever dated Jared and demand from them what the fuck they were thinking. Jensen would be perfectly happy to sit on this couch for the rest of his life just listening to him, watching him, all with a smile because if Jared was happy, Jensen felt happy. He hoped Jared saw that about him, that Jensen _was_ interested and _did_ want to listen.

And if he’d known Jared at school? Oh boy, he’d have been worshipping the ground he walked on. He’d have taken him to all the places Jared wanted to go as a couple, talked for as long as he wanted about anything, just so long as Jensen could be near him. He wouldn’t have cared about showing him off to the rest of the school like some doll, he would have happily sat somewhere on the school grounds eating lunch with him, picking off the leaves that fell onto his hair from the autumnal tree above them.

Jensen suddenly shook his head, trying to hide a grin and the flush to his cheeks. God, where were all these gushy thoughts coming from? This wasn’t like him at all.

* * *

As the day went on, Jared was obviously feeling better and better. His bloodshot eyes slowly returned to their magical hazel (Jensen had since decided for himself that’s the colour they were), and a lot more enthusiasm returned in his manner and speech. When they caught the second half of a football game it turned out they rooted for the same team, and had both been up on the edges of their seats yelling and cheering at the screen, and then falling back in a groan when they lost.

“I never do this anymore,” Jared had grinned widely, despite the loss, “I’ve never really…had anyone to do this with.” He added a little softer, sending Jensen another small, meaningful smile.

“Yeah, me neither.” Jensen replied, seeming to have the same realisation as Jared, and giving him a matching smile.

Jensen had to admit that perhaps Jared had been right. He was a little lonely in this apartment. Random one night stands cured one itch sure, but not all the ones that Jared had been scratching through all this time spent together. It felt like Jared was filing up every possible space, both physically and emotionally, and Jensen had never felt so full in his life. He didn’t know what word to put to it, but whatever it was it felt like it should be a word that made him smile as much as Jared did.

* * *

Further on in the day and there was absolutely no personal space between them at all. They’d started sitting side by side as it was, but now one of Jensen’s legs had ended up casually thrown over one of Jared’s where they were up on the coffee table. Jared’s head was now resting on Jensen’s shoulder after he’d snuggled down against him. Even Jensen’s arm eventually made its way round Jared’s shoulders, just like the classic move he’d used on the girls in the movie theatre. Doing so allowed him to hold him a little closer as they took stupid guesses at the answers on the quiz show they were now watching.

Jensen was undeniably in his own dream world. He’d nearly had a heart attack as it was when Jared had put his head on his shoulder, but when Jared hadn’t complained or even moved when Jensen cautiously snuck his arm around his shoulder, Jensen was in absolute heaven. If he could freeze his life right here, or be forced to repeat one day over and over again, it would be this one. Jared felt like a friend, so much more than a friend, and it was so hard to believe they’d only known each other for barely 5 days. It felt like he’d been in his life for years.

He _wanted_ to be in his life for years.

They were still sitting so close together like this when Jensen had flicked the channel over and found one of Jared’s old movies just about to start.

“Oh yes we are so watching this!” he exclaimed with a big grin on his face.

“You’re gonna make me watch my own movie?” Jared half-heartedly complained, smiling at Jensen’s grin.

“Yes we’re gonna watch it!” Jensen demanded joyously, “And you’re gonna tell me about filming it, my own personal actors’ commentary.”

Jared chuckled lightly, and did not complain again.

It was the second movie Jared had ever made, entitled _Wishful Thinking_ , the typical cheesy romance film of his early career. But, at Jensen’s enthusiasm Jared happily told him of all the behind-the-scenes actions going on. The actress who played his onscreen romance had a huge crush on him (who didn’t, in Jensen’s opinion) and the kiss scene with her had to be done about 30 times because she wouldn’t stop giggling. At this scene in the woods, one of the sound rigging guys fell off a scaffold right in the background, breaking his leg. At this next scene, the director got him to do this same shot from so many different angles Jared wondered if he’d been doing something wrong.

While Jared talked, Jensen realised something. This movie was the same one he’d been sitting in the movie theatre with the 2nd girl he’d brought there, the one who’d had her hands down his pants. He’d never watched this movie again because it was a chick flick and not his sort of film at all, but now sitting here all these years later, _happily_ watching it again in the comfort of his own living room _and_ with the starring actor of that movie curled up in his arms…wow, nothing could have foreseen this.

Jensen never realised how cute this movie was, and it brought back memories of when he’d first thought of Jared as cute, back even before he knew he was into guys. It was the thought that would have him looking at photos of Jared and starting his little collection throughout all the following years. Jared was still cute, but more…unbelievably smouldering hot now too. The Jared in this movie, with the shorter, messier hair, sticking up at the back and sides with full bangs falling over his eyes, Jensen just wanted to pinch his dimpled little cheeks.

“You’re adorable in this.” He murmured fondly as the finale confession scene began, while Jared just let out a snort of laughter, “How old were you here?”

“Uhhh…19? 20 maybe?”

“This wasn’t your first was it?”

“No, I had one before this.”

“How’d you get the job? You said you moved to LA after high school, how did you jump straight into a movie lead?”

So contentedly happy Jensen had completely forgotten the strange, subdued feeling he’d got from Jared when he had been close to bringing up this subject before.

“Oh, er, just, you know…was one of the lucky ones I guess.” Jared said, a little too offhandedly, “A…talent scout spotted me, and uh…that was it really.”

“Well, that was one talented talent scout.” Jensen beamed at him so sincerely, and Jared grimaced affectionately at the corny sounding sentence, smiling up at him from his shoulder.

The beaming smile very soon began to fade though, when he realised just how insanely close their faces now were. He could see what looked like flecks of gold in Jared’s eyes, his breath tingling his lips and…wow, had Jared’s lips always been that naturally pink?

“I uh…” Jensen began, noticing Jared’s gaze dropping to his lips, then back to his eyes, an expression of eager permission right there. Suddenly Jensen could feel Jared’s hand dropping slowly onto this thigh, he seemed to be leaning closer, “… _uhhhh_ I’m-gonna-get-us-some-dinner!” he quickly exclaimed, backing out of the seat and up like an escaping trapped animal, “You like pasta?”

His voice definitely sounded a heck of a lot higher than normal, and despite blinking in surprise at the sudden lack of Jensen in front of him, a smile grew wide on Jared’s face. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out an amused if weary huff, “Yeah, pasta’s good.” He chuckled.

What Jensen didn’t see as he hurriedly made his way into the kitchen was that smile grow even wider. Jared shook his head lightly before looking back towards the kitchen, with the fondest, and most exasperated expression.

In the kitchen now, Jensen was having a mild meltdown as he hurried around it looking into cupboards for ingredients and pans and anything else to take his mind of what he’d just pulled away from.

They were going to kiss they were going to kiss they were going kiss Jesus FUCK it nearly happened why why why had he pulled away well he knew why he pulled away everything Jared had been saying he didn’t want him to think he was only into his looks but he wanted to oh FUCK he wanted to kiss him so much this was maddening when would it be right when would it feel right who was he kidding it felt right then it felt right all the damned time oh HELL his thoughts were racing _where was the colander?!!_

“Jensen?”

_“YES?!”_

Jensen spun around so fast the saucepan he’d just picked up to move out the way went flying out of his hand and hit a cupboard the other side of the room, making Jared flinch in surprise as it clattered to the tiled floor. They both stared at it, before slowly looking to each other. Jensen grinned gawkily, very much pretending that hadn’t just happened, and trying to act casual by leaning against the countertop.

“Umm…yeah?”

“I…just…” Jared started, looking from him to the pan, trying and very much failing at hiding a growing smirk at what he’d just witnessed, “…wondered if you wanted any help?” his smirk then turned to what was fast becoming his trademark _let’s tease Jensen_ smirk, “Or are you okay destroying your kitchen by yourself?”

Jensen just gave him a blank look and pointed back out the kitchen door, “Get out.” Jared grinned, laughing to himself as he raised his hands in mock surrender and turned around, heading out of sight, “You wanna help go back to relaxing on that couch, hangover boy!” Jensen called out after him, and could hear Jared’s laugher again in return.

Jensen smiled. This was going to become a thing wasn’t it?

A _their_ thing.

* * *

They ate their meals at the kitchen table, and to start with it had been a rather silent, self-conscious dinner. That near kiss was still at the forefront of their minds, and now here they were, sitting opposite each other giving each other tiny awkward smiles over the pasta.

Someone had to break the tension.

“So…what type of movies do you normally like?” Jared asked, rather overly brightly.

Thankfully that’s all it took to return to the normal, easy conversation between them, and it wasn’t long before the easy smiles returned too. As they were both from Texas it didn’t surprise either of them to find out that they both enjoyed a good old fashioned western.

“I’d _love_ to do a western, be a cowboy. I mean that’s every Texan’s dream huh?” said Jared perkily.

Jensen took an obvious few moments to reply to that. He was too busy imagining Jared in a cowboy hat, boots and chaps.

And possibly nothing else.

“Mm hm.” Jensen finally replied, not daring to open his mouth for fear of drooling saliva.

They spent the rest of the evening back on the couch, sitting side by side with their legs touching once again. Although Jared had his head back on Jensen’s shoulder, the near kiss was still on Jensen’s mind and he hadn’t yet plucked up the courage to put his arm back around Jared’s shoulders. He wasn’t really sure why, all he knew was that every part of Jared that was touching a part of him was making Jensen’s skin burn under his clothing. He was barely paying any attention to anything on the tv anymore, he just couldn’t stop thinking about kissing him.

As they watched another random movie, their conversation began to wane, a few yawns here and there, watching without words. With both having so little sleep it was beginning to catch up with them far earlier than normal, and by only 8pm Jensen realised Jared hadn’t said much for a while. Carefully angling his head down to his shoulder where Jared’s head was still resting, he could see he had fallen asleep, breathing softly. 

Jensen let an immensely fond grin grace his lips, that fluttering back in his chest again, and took the opportunity to gently nuzzle his cheek on top of Jared’s head as he turned the tv off. In fact he stayed there, his own eyelids drooping, the smell of his own shampoo in Jared’s hair this time. He could happily fall asleep like this, warm and close and perfect.

“I wish I could spend every day like this with you.” He murmured quietly, placing the softest of kisses into his hair.

“Me too.”

Jensen froze, that fluttering freezing and clattering to the very bottom of his stomach.

“….uhhh…” he panicked, mind suddenly screaming at himself, “I thought you were asleep.”

“I nearly was.”

Where their hands were already lying so close to each other in their own laps, Jared moved one of his own, slowly sliding his fingers up the back of Jensen’s right hand, slipping in-between each knuckle and intertwining their fingers. Jensen could feel his own heart pounding against his ribcage already, and he slowly turned his palm over, their fingers remaining sensually intertwined, long handsome ones against Jensen’s own rough, workman’s digits. Jared squeezed his hand gently, their hands now locked together.

“Jared?” Jensen whispered, swallowing heavily, the anticipation in the air feeling like a blissful suffocation.

Jared slowly, _achingly_ slowly, looked up at him. His nose just brushed Jensen’s chin, their lips just passed each other as Jared locked his eyes to Jensen’s green ones.

“Yeah?” he whispered back, a hopefulness obvious all over his face.

Jensen had lost the words he’d been planning to say, couldn’t even remember what they were going to be. He gazed back at him, eyes working all over everywhere, taking in those perfectly shaped eyebrows, those three little moles, one by his nose, one on his chin, one…to the corner of his lips, his now shiny, wet lips, that Jared’s sneak peek of a tongue had just swept slowly across.

Seeing that happen so close made a boiling heat begin to pool in Jenson’s groin.

Carefully, with not a coherent thought in his mind, Jensen raised his other hand bringing it tentatively to Jared’s neck. His fingertips barely grazed the skin as they trailed lightly against it, just in front of his ear and down, down, Jared had such a beautifully long neck that was begging to be licked up. Jensen swept his hand back gently against his hair, leaving the place they’d touched tingling.

At the feel, Jared began to close the distance between them. His eyelids were flickering closed, his hand was squeezing Jensen’s so firmly. Jensen’s other hand finally slid around the back of Jared’s neck, his fingers slipping softly through the hairline intertwining with the long strands. As his own lips parted, he could feel the heat from Jared’s lips, they were so close, this was it this was everything, there was nothing else in the entire world but these lips and so Jensen finally closed his eyes…

…and they both jumped out of their skins when Jared’s phone began to ring.

Jared rummaged quickly, _really_ quickly, for the phone in his pocket, briefly looking at who was calling before answering with a hurried; “ _Yes?_ Uhh yeah hi Marcus.” He quickly recovered.

It was the director.

“Yeah I’m feeling a lot better thanks…uh huh……yeah of course…”

Wherever the conversation was going it had Jared getting up off the couch, walking ahead a little bit. But when Jensen began hearing phrases such as “catching up” and “different script for tomorrow”, along with Jared’s voice taking on a distinct if attempted hidden disappointment as he looked back to Jensen, Jensen got the feeling their evening was about to end.

As he suspected, when Jared put his phone back in his pocket, it was to turn to him with a clear look of apology.

“I’m gonna have to go.” He said, in a tone that said he absolutely did not want to go, “I’ve really screwed their schedule and what we were due to film tomorrow has now been changed, so I’m gonna have to go back to my motel to prepare and review some lines. I’m sorry.”

It was like a balloon had been deflated. Jensen pouted, and although obviously extremely disappointed, he smiled up at him, “Well, at least we got today, and at least you’re feeling better now.”

“Thanks to you.”

Jensen grinned at him and stood up, waving the compliment off, “Like I said, so long as you’re okay. I’ll uhh…” he trailed off for a moment, for the look Jared was giving him was making that heat in his groin reignite after it had been so cruelly dumped with ice water from that interrupting phone call.

It looked, for lack of a better term, like he wanted to pounce on him.

“…I’ll get your shoes.” Jensen remembered what he’d been going to say, but he glanced away, risked a look back, felt the heat on his face from that look Jared was still giving him before smiling awkwardly and heading into the bedroom, where Jared’s clothes from yesterday had been mostly removed.

Jensen ran a quick hand over his face, letting out a long stream of air between his puckered lips, part sigh, part begging his own body to take back control.

Now _that_ had been an almost kiss.

But the thing is, he was so caught up in the moment of desperately wanting it to happen that when it didn’t, when Jared pulled away to answer his phone, a different, new sensation ran through him. One that didn’t belong, one that…was it doubt?

It was too much, too real, this was Jared Padalecki, did the man really, _really_ want to start something with a car mechanic? He knew from what Jared had been saying about his high school experience that Jensen had been naturally doing what he wanted out of a potential partner, and Jensen knew in his very soul that if they ever did get together he’d treat the man like a damn _prince_ , but…

He didn’t want to disappoint him.

And that’s what it was. No one ever expects to be faced with the real opportunity to be with their celebrity crush, and getting so swept up in the possibility of it Jensen hadn’t really given much thought of what it would mean if it _did_ happen. Because the thing was…this wasn’t just a crush anymore. Jensen still didn’t know the word, but he was a nobody in a nobody town, is this really what Jared wanted?

Cos there was nothing special about Jensen Ackles.

He didn’t even really know where he was going with these thoughts, and soon he was out by the front door with Jared, somehow now excited and terrified on what was happening between them.

“This is two shirts I’ve got to return to you now.” Jared said, taking the small bundle and putting his shoes on the floor before stuffing his socks into his jeans pocket and hooking his old shirt through his belt, so it hung at his side like a cloth.

Jensen shook his head, “No you don’t have to, keep ‘em, they look better on you anyway.”

Jared looked up at him from where he was kneeling on one knee tying his shoelaces, a little flirtatious smirk on his lips, “I doubt that.”

It then occurred to them both at precisely the same time, with Jared looking up at him from the floor, that this was exactly the same place and same position they happened to be in at 3am this morning. Jared flushed a little and looked away first, clearing his throat before standing up. Jensen just tried to smile at him in a way that was hopefully not revealing his own slight flush at the memory.

“So,” Jensen began, “we uh…still on for seeing each other in two days? They haven’t changed that have they?”

Jensen may be having a moment of questioning panic but that didn’t mean he wanted to stop seeing him. God no, that was the last thing he wanted, and even the very thought made him feel almost sick.

“No,” Jared replied, a small shy smile on his lips that did not appear to want to leave, “that’s scheduled off time for everyone not just for me, that won’t change.”

“Good.” Jensen grinned, reassured, feeling a little breathless though he wasn’t sure why.

They stood there just staring at each other, the silence broken only by the sound of Jensen’s own blood pounding in his ears at Jared’s unwavering gaze. A slight breeze from an open window rustled Jared’s hair, but still he did not look away. In fact, he took one tentative step towards him.

“Y-you’d better get back then.” Jensen found himself stuttering, quickly taking a few steps to the side away from Jared and opening the door, holding it out for him. “Don’t work too hard though you’ve gotta get a good nights sleep after last night.”

Jesus the words felt so forced, everything felt so awkward or at least it did for him. What must Jared be thinking about him? He hadn’t even acknowledged what they had been about to do! All those weird doubting thoughts that had suddenly attacked him were making him feel like a coward.

But Jared still remained where he stood, looking at Jensen as though it was impossible for him to look anywhere else. His gaze was soft, almost understanding, and yet something behind his eyes held a source of strong determination. It was a gaze that made Jensen feel that heat begin to pool again. He remained frozen to the spot, smiling far too overly polity as he held the door open. Jared slowly took the few steps needed towards the door.

But he didn’t walk through it. 

Instead, he placed his hand on the edge of it and slowly, _very_ slowly, pushed it until it clicked back shut, shutting them away from the outside world. That determined gaze remained on Jensen the entire time, Jensen’s arm falling limply back to his side as he opened his mouth to say…something, but like before the words were lost as Jared came right up in front of him.

Jared looked at him for a moment, then let out a small sigh, that little smile returning, “I’m just gonna have to say it, aren’t I?”

“Say what?” Jensen asked innocently, though was it him or was it getting very hot in here?

Jared let out an amused puff of air from his nose, his smile widening as he looked away just for a moment.

“What I was telling you earlier, about how the people in high school used to treat me? That was…” he looked back at him with the softest, sweetest smile, “…it was kind of a hint that what you’ve been doing is absolutely right.” Jensen could feel his blood pounding again. He knew he’d recognised his own actions but didn’t realise Jared had noticed too. His own eyes now found it impossible to move from Jared’s as a sudden surge of hope flooded his entire body.

“But…” Jared continued, almost shyly, “that doesn’t mean I don’t want _this_ to continue.”

He subtly took a hold of Jensen’s hand by his side, grasping it gently, once more letting his fingers slide between Jensen’s just as they had been when they’d been about to kiss. “So I’ve really gotta ask…” a tiny blush came to Jared’s cheeks, but it was faintly ruined…or possibly improved, Jensen wasn’t sure anymore, by that damned teasing smile again; “Are you _ever_ going to kiss me?”

It took a moment as those words sunk in, but the wide smile that grew on Jensen’s face was…quickly cut short, as he tried to force it back to a normal sized one and not one that would make him look like a crazy person. But he couldn’t stop the flush to his cheeks, oh no, that was well out of control, and he grinned to the side for a moment just once to try and get it back under control.

“I uhh…” he gave Jared’s hand a little experimenting squeeze, and he wanted to laugh at how he felt so much like some stupid kid, “I didn’t want you to…to think that…”

“I don’t think that about you at all.” Jared replied, obvious with what Jensen was going to say, and he stepped that little bit closer. Jensen had to tilt his chin up just a bit to able to keep eye contact.

He didn’t want him to think he was only after his looks, or his money, or his fame, or his connections, or anything else that had made Jared become the slightly reclusive man he was behind the smiles. He didn’t want him to think he’d get bored with him, or parade him around town telling everyone how he’d bagged Jared Padalecki. He just wanted what they’d already been doing. The closeness, the laughs, the genuine interest in each other. The teasing, the caring, the genuine want to keep spending time together. It was already all being done.

They just hadn’t kissed yet.

But now it was Jensen’s turn for a cheeky little smirk, “Wait, I thought we’d already kissed?” he stated playfully, and enjoyed for once the look of embarrassment that came on Jared’s face for a change.

“Yeeeeah,” Jared flushed, glancing down to the floor just for a second in memory, at this very space last night where he’d drunkenly attacked him, “that _definitely_ doesn’t count.”

Jensen grinned, and in a boost of confidence that only Jared ever seemed to give him, he raised his other hand that wasn’t being held and gently cupped Jared’s cheek. His chest exploded with that fluttering as Jared closed his eyes, leaning blissfully into the touch.

“Wanna start over?” Jensen asked so softly, Jared’s hand raising to touch Jensen’s elbow.

Jared opened his eyes again, a beautiful blush on his cheeks now, and a definite, anticipated darkness to his eyes that sent a shiver down Jensen’s spine. Jared nodded silently, and with no more questions or doubts stopping him Jensen leant up a little on his toes and pressed his lips against Jared’s for the first, _proper_ , time.

It was so soft, almost innocent, but it made Jared grab Jensen’s elbow tightly, their other hands still clasped together. Jared parted his lips hesitantly, as if he didn’t want to ruin this do-over, but soon let out his first moan at the feel of Jensen’s tongue slipping past them. It was slow, sensual, the absolute opposite of what had happened last night. Jensen’s hand slid round the back of Jared’s neck again, pulling him down a little more to get a better angle, Jared’s tongue catching the tips of Jensen’s teeth. Jared let out another delightful moan at the feel of it, his knees definitely going weak as their tongues slid lazily against each other, the taste of alcohol now long gone.

When they parted, which they did as slowly as possible, Jensen caught Jared’s bottom lip once more in one extra, slow little kiss, and Jared practically mewled. They pressed their foreheads together, their eyes still closed, and neither of them said anything for a moment. They just breathed together, Jared still holding Jensen’s elbow and Jensen still with his hand at Jared’s neck.

Eventually, Jensen smiled, a smile that was once more trying to control just how big it was trying to be, “That was the best first kiss we’ve had.”

Jared let out a small chuckle, biting his bottom lip where he could still feel that one last little kiss, “Best outta three?” he suggested enticingly.

Jensen opened his eyes and looked up at him, a grin curling his lips at the sparkle in Jared’s eyes, and then they were kissing again, and not as slow this time. There was a tentative fire there, tongues running across lips as they kissed over and over again, and now Jensen was letting out a moan of his own and pressing harder against him, letting go of Jared’s other hand so he could find his hip, pulling him closer.

It ended too soon, but when they parted again they were slightly breathless, and immediately Jensen said;

“You know technically you kissed me three times yesterda-“

He didn’t even get to finish his sentence before Jared pressed forward with a breathless moan and kissed him again, hard. Both his arms curled around his waist tugging him closer as he bit down on Jensen’s bottom lip, before lapping at it tenderly. Slipping his tongue back between them Jared just devoured him, as though he’d been so desperate to do this for days. The kiss was so passionate, so deep, it was as if he thought it was going to be the last kiss he’d ever get for the rest of his life. Jensen’s hand at Jared’s neck buried itself in his hair, dragging him down dragging him closer, the other hand grasping at his shoulder as nothing but breathless gasps for air and moans drowning in pleasure filled the very little space between.

When they parted for this third time, a small string of saliva connected the two tongues that didn’t seem to want to part from each other. Jensen felt drunk on him, and completely dopey, not even opening his eyes as he asked with a breathless, lop sided grin;

“Best outta 10?”

This time Jared laughed, but very unfortunately then loosened his grip on Jensen’s waist, “I would love to do that, but I really have got to go.”

Jensen’s eyes shot open, “ _What_?! No no you can’t go now not now this has happened!”

“What happened to me getting a good nights rest?” Jared teased.

“ _Fuck_ that!”

Jared laughed gloriously, flicking his hair back with the fondest of smiles, “Oh how your opinions have changed.”

“But-!” Jensen wasn’t really complaining, he did want Jared to get a good rest before working again but…BUT!! This was just cruel now!

“I’ll see you in two days, okay?”

“ _Two days_ how am I now gonna survi-?“

Jared once again interrupted his speech with another kiss, this time cupping both his large hands at Jensen’s jaw, tilting his head up to kiss him, cocooning his face in his palms. It had taken Jensen a little in surprise, and found his fingers just twitching at his sides where he stood, letting Jared hold his entire head as he slowly had the complaints kissed right out of him.

“Pick me up at seven again, yeah?”

It took a lot of effort for Jensen to open his eyes again, hearing that voice against his lips, but he smiled rather dopily again, feeling like he was on some wonderful drug.

“Okay.”

Jared reached back for the door, opening it, and turned back to Jensen just as he felt his hand slip into his own. He looked down at it.

“You are okay though, right?” Jensen asked, in a sudden all seriousness, “With whatever happened yesterday, because if it really is anything I can help with I want to help you, I want to…to do anything to help. Anything.”

Jared looked at him, and the softest smile came to his lips, “You really are a gentleman. But…I’ve really got to go. Cos if I don’t go now…” he bit his lip, his eyes dropping over Jensen’s body, “I might not go at all.”

Jensen stared at him wide eyed, feeling a flash of heat creep quickly up his neck, Jared’s masterful distraction from the question going entirely unnoticed.

“And saying _that_ is supposed to make me let go of your hand _how_?!”

* * *

**_Late last night…_ **

_Night Jared._ Jared looked down at the text, just as the heart eyed emoji came through after it. He let out a small adorable laugh that lit up his whole face.

There was a knock on his motel door. This wasn’t unusual since the press and the locals figured out where he was staying, he’d already had a few fans asking for autographs, but when he looked through the peep hole his face paled as white as a sheet. The laughter from Jensen’s text was gone, vanished, like it had never existed. He pressed his forehead against the back of the door, his hand grasping the handle far tighter than needed. The knock came again, and Jared screwed his eyes tightly shut. 

He opened the door, under the pretence of someone doing it against their will despite having nothing to stop him from pretending he wasn’t in.

“Hello Jared.”

The older man the other side was the same one who had angrily stormed up to Jensen demanding where he’d got the impala. He was almost a header shorter than Jared, and he looked up at him as he took a last drag of the cigarette he was holding before chucking it to the ground. Without even asking he just strode past Jared into his motel room. Jared didn’t stop him, despite looking like it was the last thing he wanted to let happen. There was a mixture of fear and anger on his face, and something that made him hold his tongue and automatically lower his head like an obedient, broken in dog.

“What are you doing here?” Jared asked quietly as the man looked around the room casually, “I don’t have to give you anything for another four months.”

“Yeah about that,” the man said, finally looking to him, “I’m running a little short.”

“How could you _possibly_ be running short?” Jared spat, but the raised eyebrows on the man made him shrink back again, and he looked to the floor.

“Oh you know, the gambling, the high life, the _wife_ , am I right?” the man chuckled, seeming happy with Jared’s retraction, “Besides if you can afford to be giving away cars for free I think I can be getting more out of you.”

Jared looked up at him, and the man gave him a chilling smile.

“Yes, I know about that. Saw it first, then found out from those reporters that you hadn’t even sold it. Was damned angry at first, thinking you’re literally throwing money away like that, but then I thought, you know what? It’s only a waste for you. Won’t affect what you pay me. And that’s what I’m here about.”

Jared glared at him, his head still tilted down, “The amount was already arranged, that was the deal.”

“Well I’m changing the deal. I want an extra third of our arranged price, and I want this years now.”

“ _What_?!” Jared exclaimed in a shocked fury, “You-!”

“-hey I’m reasonable,” the man interrupted calmly, ignoring the outburst, “we’re in the middle of nowhere here, I’ll come back and collect it at the end of your filming month, give you a chance to find some civilization with a bank. In the meantime, I think I’ll hang around in town. Might even go for a little rock climbing myself, catch some rays, you know, relax.” That chilling smile returned, “Right here, in this motel, just down the other end in fact.”

Jared’s lips were twitching, trying to repress a snarl, “You can’t keep changing the rules. You can’t keep demanding money whenever you feel like it!”

“Actually I can.” The man replied casually, “Because you know what will happen if you don’t do what I ask.”

Jared glared at him, but the glare looked sadder and more frightened than angry, “You know where most of my money goes.” He said quietly, a pleading tone in his voice, “Please don’t make me give you any more.”

“That would be your problem, not mine.” The man said uncaringly, “Guess you better pick up some more scripts, keep the money coming in. Gotta keep working, you wouldn’t want the world to find out exactly how low you’ll go, now would you?”

This time the snarl escaped him, and pushing back his shoulders Jared began to take threatening steps towards him, but the man quickly opened his jacket to reveal a handgun sitting in the inside pocket, and Jared froze where he stood.

“Uh uh uh, come on now we’re not gonna go through this dance again are we? In fact just for that I’ll take another little upfront payment.”

He stared up at Jared, the difference in height, weight, strength, all of it was on Jared’s side, but just one look from this man was making him recoil away.

“Get on your knees.” The man stated, the fake airiness in his voice now gone.

Jared didn’t move, nor give any reaction other than a twitch of snarling lips again at the request.

“Get out.” He whispered.

“Oh come on Jared you know how this goes, or do you really want me to release this?”

Dipping his hand into his pocket he held up a small USB hard drive, the smile on his face a sickening one of knowing he held all the power.

“You wouldn’t let that go just because I wouldn’t suck you off.” Jared growled.

“No, but I could just shoot you.”

He got out his gun, pointing it directly at Jared’s chest. Jared staggered backwards, fear evident all over his face, looking to the man in absolute shock that he’d do this. But the man just grinned, enjoying the reaction.

“Nowhere life threatening of course. Just an arm, or a leg, you know, so you couldn’t work on your movie. You earning less does not affect what you give me, remember that, but I guess it would affect your other little project.”

Jared stood at the end of the motel bed, emotion running all over his face. The rage, the torment, the disgust…the knowledge that this had happened every year since that day. With the gun still pointing at him, Jared’s face flushed in mortified revulsion, resigned to his fate as he slowly, unwillingly, slipped to the floor on his knees.

He automatically put his hands behind his back, because he knew that’s what he’d be told to do.

The man’s satisfied grin repulsed him.

“You should be thankful I don’t demand more out of you,” the man said, placing his gun back in his jacket pocket, “I mean really it’s not that bad, it’s not like I fuck you anymore.”

He walked up to Jared, who closed his eyes in disgust at the feel of the man’s hand in his hair, stroking it lightly for a moment before gripping it harshly, pulling hard against his scalp. Jared winced in pain letting out a sharp gasp. The man scrunched the hair tightly in his hand, getting a good grip on it, as his other worked at his own belt underneath his protruding belly.

“You can thank my wife for that by the way, I do actually love you her know, and I wouldn’t cheat on her, so what can I do?”

Jared glared at up at him, his lips tightly shut.

“Don’t look at me like that this isn’t cheating. Now open up.” He demanded, and Jared turned his head away, eyes screwed shut against the man’s cock as it came free from behind the jeans zipper.

But Jared knew it was useless to try and stop this. He felt sick. He always felt sick. The man tugged hard on his hair making him turn back, and Jared could feel his thumb run across his lips, teasing them open.

“There………………...good boy.”

On the floor in a plastic bag next to a set of draws sat a full bottle of whiskey. It had been given as a gift to Jared on set from the rock-climbing instructor, for being such a quick learner and such a joy to teach, laughing that he better not drink it while they were filming or she’d be the one in trouble with their star falling and breaking his neck.

It wouldn’t be full by the end of the night.

* * *

**_Present time…_ **

It took a while, but eventually Jensen did let go of Jared’s hand, but only after a few more distracting kisses. Though he still didn’t let it go until the very last second, Jared walking out the door giggling that their hands were still together, reaching out far behind him as slowly they slipped apart, their fingertips the last places to touch each other.

Jensen stayed out on his front door balcony, watching and waving to Jared as he drove out from behind the building and back onto the road, back into town. Left alone, Jensen knew now, knew that any of that misleading doubt he’d had before was gone. There was no doubt, none at all. Fuck the doubt.

The way he felt about Jared was maddening and beautiful all in one, freeing and consuming all in one. He wanted to scream out to the world that this feeling was unbelievable, and everyone needed to have it, you hadn’t lived until you’d felt this! This wasn’t just a little celebrity crush, he’d already accepted that, it had moved far beyond that, and now he knew what the word was that he’d been looking for.

Jensen was utterly, madly in love with him, and if it was the last thing he ever did he’d make sure that giggle and smile happened _every single day._


	6. “It’s not that simple.”

The following morning and nothing whatsoever could ruin Jensen’s mood. He opened up his garage with a literal spring in his step, turning on the radio and having it up as loud as it could go, singing along deafeningly loudly to anything that played on it. He didn’t even care if he liked the song or not, he’d sing along anyway. 

Not even the few reporters and locals that came back to him today could ruin his mood. In fact he just sung even louder over the top of their questions, a grin on his face as he worked on his cars, ignoring them entirely. It pleased him even more that they were obviously getting frustrated. They could do what they wanted, ask what they wanted he didn’t care one bit, because he was in love and nothing could take that feeling away today.

Despite being very tired after his disturbed night last night, Jensen had found it nearly impossible to sleep. For an obvious reason. His heart and mind were still racing long after those kisses had ended, never in his life and he felt so elated and happy and it made him want to squeeze his pillow against himself and grin into it. Which he did in the end, letting out muffled squeals of absolute insane delight.

The part of him that would normally be reminding himself that he was 34 year old man what the hell was he doing had long since been suffocated by the amount of hearts floating around in his brain. He could still feel the way Jared’s lips felt against his own; demanding but soft, unsure but desperate, and that tongue, _fuck!_ The entire time those lips were on him his blood couldn’t decide where to rush to, his face or his cock.

But boy had it been worth the wait, absolutely worth it! He’d wanted to pull him back over to that couch, lay him down and kiss him for the rest of the night. He wanted Jared to still be tasting him the next day, he wanted to hear those moans again that he’d only got a sample of through those kisses. Hearing Jared make those delicious sounds against his lips, rumbling up from his throat, it was Jensen that had done that to him, Jensen had made him sound like that, and oh god he was grinning into his pillow again.

He was in love with him so much and he didn’t care how crazy that sounded after such a short amount of time. He knew what he felt and he had never felt this way in his entire life, he was basking in it! He also no longer cared that the world was interested in taking photos of him just because they thought he might be with Jared, because now he _was_ , and _they_ didn’t know that, and it felt fantastic to get one over on the press without even needing to try. 

Ask away, they were getting nothing out of Jensen but a secretive grin.

In retrospect it must have been incredibly obvious to those reporters that something good must have happened, because this was the first day Jensen wasn’t telling them to fuck off. Today he wouldn’t have looked out of character if he’d suddenly started singing along to _Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows_ he was so happy. Perhaps they’d make up their own story, that this was the morning after blissful happiness from having sex with Jared for the first time. Like the opposite of the walk of shame, this was now the bouncy car mechanic of joy. 

But it wasn’t because of sex, this was just because of a kiss. Several wonderful, _brain-melting_ kisses. Sex was…oh God, Jensen hadn’t made it past the kisses yet to be thinking about sex, but…they _would_ right? If this worked if…if they stayed together…

Sex with Jared Padalecki. Actual sex. Jensen could make those moans come out between those pink lips by doing other things than just kissing him. He could get his hands on that golden skin, those tight muscles, nibbling and sucking on one of those pert nipples that had been teasing out from behind Jared’s open shirt yesterday morning. He could be running his palm down over his stomach, following the little happy trail until his fingers brushed against denser hair, and Jared would arch up into him, those heavenly moans escaping him as Jensen would trail his fingertips teasingly slowly down Jared’s cock…

Jensen could feel his jeans getting tight where he was laying underneath a car, and quickly thought of other non-sexy, car related things instead. Tyres, gas, lube- NO not lube!

_Focus, Ackles,_ Jensen told himself sternly, _or you’re gonna get covered in oil again._

Oil.

Covered in oil.

Jared slick with oil…

Jensen banged his forehead accidently on the underside of the car when he tried to get up without actually sliding out from underneath it yet.

Sexual thoughts aside, he was already planning the most romantic trip up into the mountains. Originally he was just going to drive Jared up there so they could sit out on the hood, have a few beers and show him the most amazing view. Now however, now blankets and picnics were being planned. Now wine was involved, not beer, but good wine in tall glasses and chocolates and small nibbly things you could hand feed romantically to your partner. Basically all the shit you expect to be taking your first girlfriend out for. 

But it’s just what he felt, it’s how Jared made him feel. He made him feel like the embodiment of a damned chick flick and the funny thing was he didn’t mind. Perhaps those movies weren’t far wrong, all the overly romantic feelings you got when you fall in love for the first time. He’d always thought those films were just to fulfil the fantasies of teenage girls, but right now, they all felt pretty plausible to him.

The reporters and locals didn’t stay long, finally leaving him alone when no Jared could be seen secretly exiting the apartment. Ensuring he was really alone when going for his break, Jensen sat back in front of his old computer and took one careful look back at the gossip sites, once more banging the side of it to get the screen to work. He was still careful not to look at any comments, but was kind of sneakily curious now as to what the reporters were saying. 

However, the moment he read the sentence; _“…lowbrow hick who thought showing us how many times he could swear in one sentence would prove to us he is not exactly the kind of backwater roughneck he appears, well, perhaps our sweet Jared likes them rough after all”,_ Jensen just swore under his breath and clicked away. Yes he knew the irony that he’d just sworn in his head, and yes he knew the irony that he was still swearing in his head that these fucking morons didn’t fucking know him and even if they fucking did they’d still twist the tale to make him seem exactly how THEY wanted him to fucking appear!!

And besides, he wasn’t rough, he was…well…Jared had called him a gentleman. Twice. And Jared’s opinion of him meant far more than anything these fucking bastards could make up.

As he clicked away though he did a double take, and quickly clicked back as he noticed the preview thumbnail for the next picture in line. It was one of Jared, of him coming out of the apartment yesterday morning down the stairs, wearing Jensen’s black tank top. Clicking on it so the picture filled up the screen, Jensen once again found himself leaning his chin in his hand and grinning stupidly at it.

Jared was just so effortlessly beautiful. He wasn’t even looking at the camera, but down ahead of himself as he came down the stairs, his hair just slightly flying back at the movement. The camera had captured the moment when the wind had just rippled the edges of the tank top, exposing his hip where his jeans were worn low. Jensen still couldn’t believe he had kissed that man, that gorgeous specimen of humanity, and looking around himself again to really make sure no one was here he then saved that picture to his usual little folder.

But then he paused.

Was this a weird thing to still be doing?

Jensen looked at the others pictures he’d saved over the years, and something rather…mature, came over him. It was a first time for everything he knew, but he made the decision right there. Aside from the photo he’d just saved and the one of them both in the restaurant, he then deleted every other picture he’d collected. He wanted to save those two because they told the story of them meeting, they meant something personal to him, but the rest?

Why did he need them when he had the real thing?

He wanted to create his own memories with him, take some photos of his own, selfies of them together or something stupid and normal like that. He wanted pictures of them together where Jared was being his relaxed, smiley self, because no matter how gorgeous he looked in any of his photos online, whether they be professionally staged ones or stills from his movies or fan snaps, none of them were as beautiful as him lounging around on Jensen’s couch in Jensen’s clothes laughing and flirting with him. Because this was happening, he was in the beginnings of an actual relationship with Jared Padalecki, and Jensen was determined to be the best damned boyfriend Jared had ever had! 

And that started with not being a creep who still collected other people’s photos of him.

* * *

Being a Saturday Jensen only worked a half day, and having done so much extra work the other night and pawning off some of his business to Paul, he was now pretty much caught up. Which was good, because he needed to go into town to get food supplies for their mountain trip tomorrow, and then he was going to spend the rest of the day _finally_ working on the impala. He wanted to get everything wrong with her fixed ready to pick Jared up the next evening. Driving up into the mountains wasn’t the best idea for a chevvy in the first place, so he needed her in the best condition he could get her. He wasn’t going to take Jared out on a date in his regular truck, the one he used for bringing back car parts and was more dirt and sand than vehicle, God no!

Like the day before, there were texts being sent slowly between them while Jared must have been working extra hard to catch up with what had been missed. But these ones were a little different. These ones were a lot more forward and flirtier. Jensen wrote to him that he was missing him already. It had only been 9am at the time. Jared wrote back that if he could have, he’d be right back there with him now. Jensen wrote that he’d dreamt about kissing him again all night, along with a little red lips emoji. Jared wrote back that he might have dreamt of something a little more than kissing, along with a shy blushing emoji. 

Jensen had to hurriedly sit down at that one as the blood rushed from his brain to somewhere else. Damn this boy was going to be a tease, wasn’t he? Well Jensen already knew that, but he got the feeling he’d only just seen the tip of the iceberg of Jared’s teasing. Which…really, he liked. A lot. Because it showed Jared was relaxed enough around him to know he could get away with it.

When he thought about it, it really was amazing just how quickly they’d clicked.

Now heading into town, he drove his old truck past Jared’s motel, and just took a peek into the car park to see if his jeep was there. It wasn’t. He did however notice another car, that red Ford Mustang from the rude dick that had ambushed him at his garage about the impala. It was a hard car not to miss. Man these reporters really never left Jared alone did they?

This was the first time he’d gone into town since the dinner with Jared, and fuck it was like he’d turned into a celebrity himself! Heading into the new chain supermarket they’d got last year to stock up on his groceries, he found every single person, _all_ of them, looking at him and whispering to their families. Every time he’d go down an aisle there’d be a gasp from somewhere, some of the women even giving him little waves before dissolving into giggles with their friends. Jensen awkwardly waved back at some of them, but it was a little weird while he was selecting toilet paper at the time.

“Excuse me?”

Jensen turned to the teenage girl that had just shyly walked up beside him. She could only have been about 14, three of her friends standing at the end of the aisle watching excitedly. He’d seen her before, definitely a local.

“Are you…are you really dating Jared Padalecki?”

A part of Jensen groaned, having heard that question probably at least 600 times by now, but she was just a kid, and he smiled at her.

“Sorry sweetheart, like I tell the press, no comment.” He turned from her to carry on with his shopping, but she ran up behind him again.

“But you are! Aren’t you?” she said a little louder, her voice very, very hopeful for a response, as was her entire expression when Jensen turned back to her.

Jensen couldn’t help a curl of his lips, more from the effort of keeping down the truth that yes, he actually kinda was now. Instead he took a quick look around the rest of the aisle, turned back to her, and gave her a tell-tale wink and a grin before turning and moving on again. He could hear the girl literally squeal behind him and run back to her friends, and Jensen continued grin to himself.

Well he hadn’t _technically_ said anything, she could take that wink in any way she wanted.

As he continued his shop there were a few others that tried to start up a conversation about Jared, including the cashier who’d gone slightly star struck and just stared at him with wide eyes before blurting out if he could get her Jared’s autograph. It was very weird to be the centre of so much attention, and was kinda glad when he got back into his truck away from it all. Still, he had almost everything he needed now. He’d got the wine, a decent set of wine glasses (he did not own such a thing at home), the most expensive chocolates they had, various picking foods for the picnic, and now there was just one thing missing.

He felt kind of goofy for wanting to get a bouquet of flowers, but this was a date, and he was in love, so screw it. 

There was a flower shop on the main street. Well, more of a farmers shop really, selling seeds and grain, produce and ordering in farming equipment for the various ranches that dotted the desert nearby. But they always had a small arrangement of flowers for sale. He knew nothing about flowers except that roses were romantic, but they didn’t have any of those. So instead he chose a nice bouquet of yellow and red tulips that had a shiny green ribbon around them, just because yeah they looked nice, and off he went back home.

Once unpacking everything and putting the flowers in water, he sent Jared another text, saying he’d just gotten the supplies for their little mountain date and couldn’t wait to pick him up tomorrow. It was almost 2 hours before he got a reply;

_Thoughts of you have been distracting me all day, everyone keeps thinking I’m still not well lol._

Once again that boost of confidence spread through Jensen’s entire body, knowing Jared really did think of him in the same way Jensen thought of him. The attraction was 100% both ways and Jensen was living for it. He may not want to parage Jared around on his arm boasting to the world that he’d got him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t doing a little victory dance in his own head.

Sticking a closed sign in a little hole at the end of the driveway so he could still keep the garage doors open, he worked on the impala for the rest of the day. She really was a mess inside, and in the end just took out the entire engine as he replaced parts that were rusting away or worn down or missing entirely. There were a lot of parts he didn’t actually have, specially made for the chevy impala itself, and knew he would need to order them in. But he wasn’t the best mechanic in town for nothing, and for now invented his way around problems using the parts he did have. The entire exhaust needed replacing, the brake pads were almost worn to nothing, the fan belt was close to snapping, how she was working at all was a miracle.

By the end of the day, and well into the evening, Jensen finally hung up his tool belt, looking back at a now fully working and no longer life-threatening impala. Tomorrow he would hammer out the dents from her bodywork, fill in the cracks in her paintwork, and then give her a thorough clean inside and out. Although she still desperately needed a new paint job, and would so even more after he’d messed with her bodywork, she would at least be shiny and clean for their date.

When he got into bed that night, he found a text from Jared from half an hour ago that he must have missed while he was in the shower.

_Still on set, night shoot, but wishing I was in bed thinking of you Jen._

Immediately Jensen felt his heart jump to his throat at the nickname and he melted into his mattress. Jen, he’d actually called him Jen and…and he wanted to be thinking about him…in _bed_ ……

Well, that brought up some interesting images.

Along with Jared’s text from earlier about thinking of more than just kissing him during the night, Jensen’s erotic dream suddenly came back to his mind in full force. Jared moaning wildly, _Jen, Jen_ , over and over against Jensen’s lips as he straddled him and fucked himself on his cock. Thanks to that dream it now meant that hearing his shortened name, even just typed in a text, was making Jensen’s cock twitch against his boxers. Biting his bottom lip, and suddenly feeling rather nervously mischievous, Jensen replied to the text.

_I’m in bed right now, absolutely thinking of you._

Thinking of how Jared looked in the dream, his dark, blown eyes, his heavy cock upright and dripping with Jensen’s deep inside him. Jensen let out a slow, steady breath at the image, his eyes closing, his cock twitching even more against the fabric. The fingers on his hand that was lying on his stomach curled against his naked skin. The way Jared’s hair stuck to his face with sweat, the way his hips would curl and twist so slowly and so fucking deeply. Jensen let his head fall back against his pillow, concentrating on his breathing, his hand trailing down his own stomach. It dipped down beneath his boxers, and as it reached the root of his hardening cock he paused only briefly, before grasping it firmly.

His phone pinged with a message, and he peered one eye open at it where he was still holding it in his right hand.

_Not naughty thoughts are they?_ 😉

“Oh fuck yes they’re naughty thoughts.” Jensen moaned aloud, feeling the blush on his face as he gave his cock a squeeze and typed back awkwardly with one hand;

_And if they were?_

The Jared in his head was now doing something that had not happened in the dream. He was taking a-hold of Jensen’s wrists and pinning them down to the bed, up above his head. Jared’s hair tickled his face where he leant down over him, nose to nose.

“You’re a bad boy aren’t you Jen?” Jared whispered against his lips.

“Oh baby I’ll be anything you want me to be.” Jensen moaned aloud.

His hand began to pump his cock as the Jared in his head licked across his lips before slipping his tongue between them. Jared rocked his hips faster, clenching down on Jensen’s cock each time, feeling the burning heat, making Jensen groan louder every time.

“Fuck…” Jensen whimpered, panting now as his hand worked faster. At this rate he was not going to last long already, he just…Jared was so…

He quickly shuffled his boxers off him entirely and bent his knees, placing his feet flat on the mattress so he could really buck up into his imagined Jared. Jared had now let go of Jensen’s wrists and was scraping his nails down his chest, moaning wildly as he bit his lip to try and keep himself quiet as he was pounded up into again and again and…

_Ping!_

Panting hard now Jensen looked back at his phone.

_I’d say I wish I was there to help…_

“Oh _God_!”

Suddenly he was coming hard, eyes screwed shut his head hit the pillow again as those texted words sent a literal shiver throughout his entire body. The images instantly changing to Jared’s mouth where Jensen’s hand was, of those stunning eyes looking up at him as he swallowed him whole, _helping_ in every way he could. 

The long stream of come went high and hit himself on the chest, but his hips were still jerking, his hand still pumping himself dry as he arched his neck against the pillow. The Jared in his head was swallowing every drop, feeling that hot tongue working around the shaft and moaning so prettily.

When he finally came down from his high Jensen was gasping deeply, and prying open his eyes he stared up at the ceiling, his hand still gripping himself but no longer moving.

“ _Fuck_ …” he panted again, before grinning sloppily, “I am such a bad boy.”

He finally typed back;

_I wish you were too._

The flirting game really was _very_ strong tonight. As he reached for his box of tissues to clean himself up with, in his head he was now bringing Jared up to lie beside him, scattering soft kisses all over his face. Nuzzling his hair, he’d then cradle his head to him as they became entangled in each other’s arms and legs, letting the weight of sleep take them together. 

Sleep was so much better when it was in the arms of someone you loved, even if for now it was only in his head.

* * *

The first thing Jensen did when he woke up the following morning was to send Jared another text; _morning gorgeous,_ along with a little heart. Moments later he got back the little shy blushing emoji again, along with a grin, a wink, and a pairing of kissing lips. Jensen had laughed out loud at that. What was he 12? Communicating only via emojis, the loveable sweetheart. He sent another text about 2 hours later saying he was going to make this date into something really special. He hadn’t got a reply back, but then Jared had said it was only the evening he had off so was once again presumably on set. 

For now, Jensen got back to work on the impala, the closed sign back at the end of the drive on this quite normal boiling hot Sunday. It must have been a _very_ busy day for Jared though, because Jensen never got a reply back to his text at all. Even by the time he’d shut up the garage heading back up to his apartment to get ready for their date, the impala dent-free and sparkling. Having that one unscheduled day off must have _really_ cost them. He hoped Jared wasn’t going to be too exhausted to go out. Mind you, if it came to staying in his motel room together for an evening instead, he wouldn’t mind that _at all_!

No couches there, the only place to cuddle up to would be on the bed.

As he organised the food and wine and flowers into the impala, still feeling giddily stupid whenever he looked at those flowers, he began to get more and more excited. He wondered if anyone Jared had ever dated had planned something as romantic as this. Probably not, by the sounds of it. In fact he wondered if any of them had treated him how he deserved, with love and attention and making Jared’s smile the most important thing to come out of the day.

It would probably be slightly cooler up in the mountains, so he wore one of his black tank tops underneath a deep green plaid shirt. He had a _lot_ of tank tops, they got ruined so easily in his job. He’d worn the shirt once in a bar when he’d picked up a girl, and she happened to mention it brought out the green in his eyes, so he was going with the best outfit he could think of for tonight.

They weren’t going far, just to a cliff edge about a third of the way up one of the giant flat-topped mountains where the road led around it. The cliff went on for miles in both directions, and gave the most amazing 180-degree view of the town in the distance and the surrounding desert, right to the horizon. It was a popular make out spot for the teens in the town too, but being so long there were plenty of spaces to pull off the road and still find yourself completely alone.

As it got closer to the arranged meeting time, he’d still not heard from Jared. Perhaps he was just late getting back from the shoot and was hurrying to get ready before Jensen turned up? Or maybe his phone was dead? He sent him a text anyway that he was on his way, just in case, hoping he’d perhaps left his phone on silent. If he was too tired or if something had come up, he would have told him by now.

Any worry was out of his mind by the time he got to the motel, because seeing Jared’s jeep in the car park made the nerves all over him tingle with anticipation. He knew he should probably pull himself together, but this was the first time they’d seen each other since they’d kissed, and all Jensen wanted to do was sweep Jared off his feet at how romantic he could be. He pulled the impala up beside the jeep right in front of door number 4 and hurriedly got out, the biggest excited grin on his face, picking up the bouquet of flowers from the back seat.

He was going to do this right. He was going to show Jared how he should have always been treated.

Stepping up to the door he quickly smoothed down his shirt and gave himself the once over, ensuring he looked just as good as when he’d rendered Jared speechless the first time. If he could make that jaw drop a second time oh that would be so damned good. Clutching the flowers firmly, looking much like a guy here to pick up his prom date, he knocked on the door. Oh wait crap had he brushed his hair before he came out? What did it look like he couldn’t remember! He quickly ran his hand up through it to make sure it had that same turned-up casual style he’d done before for their dinner, just as Jared opened the door.

“Hey.” Jensen grinned so stupidly eagerly, looking up at him like an excited puppy.

Two days really had been too long to see him again, and as usual Jared looked _so_ good he could have jumped on him and bent him down for one hell of a reunion kiss. But Jensen was a gentleman, words he took to heart coming from Jared. 

“Hey.” Jared replied, but Jensen’s grin faded a little at how drained he sounded, and there was no smile on his face either. It really must have been a tough day, and he smiled at him sympathetically.

“I’ve missed you.” Jensen beamed, before thrusting the tulips out to him, “I err…I got you these. I know flowers aren’t really a guy thing but uhh…” he chuckled, slightly embarrassed, “I dunno, it…it just felt right, you know?”

He hoped they’d make him feel a little better, even if it would be just a smile of _what the fuck are these_ , but while Jensen was grinning so cutely Jared made no move to take them. In fact, he seemed to recoil a little, taking a step back. Where he still held the door handle he closed the door ever so slightly so it hid part of his face.

“Jensen…” Jared said quietly, looking as though he wanted to be anywhere but here, “I can’t do this.”

Jensen blinked at him, still holding the flowers out, “What, go out? Okay no problem we could stay in town or just here I have food-“ He jabbed his thumb back to the impala, but Jared interrupted him.

“I can’t go out with you. At all.” Jared said. There was an obvious, terrible silent pause, a look of awful misery on his face, “ _Ever_.” He whispered, looking down, away, anywhere that wasn’t Jensen’s face.

The hand holding out the flowers very slowly dropped back to Jensen’s side.

“What?” Jensen asked meekly, all the excitement draining out of him like someone had squeezed him dry.

It was then he noticed Jared didn’t just look tired he looked…his eyes were slightly puffy, just a little, like he’d been crying again. Not drunk this time no, just crying. He looked miserable.

“What’s happened?” Jensen asked in all seriousness. 

This wasn’t right, not right at all. Jared had been flirting with him via texts for the past two days, just this morning he’d sent that string of emoji’s that had made Jensen laugh. Something must have happened recently, because there was no way Jensen was just going to accept Jared had changed his mind about them so suddenly. There’d been no animosity or even annoyance between them not even once, everything had been wonderful so far. Beyond wonderful. It had been perfect.

“Nothing. Nothing’s happened I just…” Jared said, looking so much like he wanted this to just stop, “I’m sorry. It’s my fault I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have led you on like this.”

“Led me on?” Jensen could feel the slight flare of anger in his tone and regretted it immediately at the way Jared tried to hide himself more behind the door, “What are you talking about? We’ve been getting along so good I thought…I mean…we _kissed_ , and…and the things you were saying, the _texts_ Jared this goes both ways you didn’t lead me on I-“

“I _know_ , I know we kissed Jensen and…and we shouldn’t have.”

Jensen felt a sudden sick anxiety rise to his throat, “What? Why not?”

“I shouldn’t have let it get that far and I’m so sorry, I really am I just I can’t…I can’t explain why I just-”

“Is this because of the thing that happened to you the other night?” Jensen interrupted.

Bingo. Jared went completely silent, staring at him with eyes that were suddenly not only miserable, but frightened. They were eyes that were begging him not to bring that up, but it was a hint Jensen did not see. Instead, Jensen sighed, looking up at Jared with what he hoped was a comforting smile. Some of the petals from the tulips fell to the ground, blowing away in the gentle breeze.

“Look, whatever it is you don’t want me to know, whatever it is that you think’ll change my opinion about you, or…or whatever’s making you scared about _this_ ,” he gestured between the two of them, “I don’t care about it, ‘cause I swear it won’t change a thing.” He paused for a moment, slightly bashful for a second before pulling himself together, ensuring he was looking him right in his eyes, “It won’t change how strongly I feel about you.”

He said it as softly and as understandably as he could, but was also not quite prepared to be talking about his feelings for him quite so early in their relationship. But he needed Jared to understand how much he meant to him already, that this wasn’t a joke to him. That whatever Jared was suffering alone with, he didn’t have to be alone.

But Jared was shaking his head miserably, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re right, I don’t, and I won’t until you tell me but _that’s the point_! I like you Jared, a _hell_ of a lot. Even without knowing what the hell is eating you up so badly. I like the person that I’ve got to know screw what may have happened in your past. Hell a week ago you were just a face I recognised as someone famous, but now? You chose to spend your time with me I’ve _seen_ the real you, and you are so much better than…than I think even you know.” He said softly, and Jared was just looking at him with the most tangled expression, lost and shy and just a little bit shocked, “And I told you that you were even better than I thought at the restaurant, even before I did get to know you. Just goes to prove I’m an awesome judge of character.”

Jensen tried to add a joke, a bit of a grin, but Jared’s expression didn’t change. Jensen’s smile dropped, and he carried on.

“And I like the person that you’ve brought out in me too, because…” he paused, wetting his lips as he thought about admitting this aloud or not, “…’cause you know what? You’re right about me.” he said quietly, “I am lonely, and this past week with what we’ve had going on, hell it’s… it’s been the best week of my life.” He looked right at Jared’s eyes again as he said it, his voice still soft and unwavering in his words, “I know we’ve not known each other long, but it’s long enough to know what I feel. And what I feel is…is that we would be so awesome together.”

His smile was so heart-warmingly genuine, but there was a desperateness in his eyes that was starting to show through at Jared’s lack of reaction to anything he was saying.

Even now, Jared lowered his gaze away, letting out a long sigh, “Jensen how can you not care about what I di-“

“Nope stop right there,” Jensen said, putting his hand up to silence him. “‘cause you are so worth fighting for Jared even if I’m fighting against yourself.”

Had Jared even heard a word he’d said? All of that and he was still fixating on Jensen not caring about this mystery issue? Well, despite the terrible upset look on Jared’s face, a tiny bit of colour did rise to his cheeks at saying he deserved to be fought for, and he didn’t argue again. Jensen took this as a good sign.

“Whatever you don’t want to the world to know doesn’t matter to me. I don’t give a fuck what you’re hiding ‘cause the person that I see right in front of me, standing right here, _that’s_ who I wanna be with. That’s who I…I…” he looked around himself as if to find an example of what he was trying to say, but then realised he was already holding it, “who I want to give these to.” He said, holding out the flowers again, a little hopeful smile back on his face, “So waddya say? I know I ain’t exactly much but…but Jared what we have going on between us? I am in _nowhere_ near ready for it to stop. And if one day you wanna tell me what’s going on with you then I’ll be there to listen, and if you don’t, then I’m fine with that too. So, come on,” he tried a cheeky little grin, another attempt to get Jared to smile, “will you give us a chance?”

He wiggled the flowers in his hand in a playful manner, wanting to bring back those beautiful dimples. If Jared was scared, he’d work with him past it. He really didn’t care about what he was hiding, honestly, and maybe that was weird he didn’t know. Hell he didn’t care. The only thing he did care about was seeing Jared smile again. This man was carrying something so heavy in his soul and he wanted to help him lighten it. He wanted to kiss it away, hold his hand away, love it away.

Jared looked between the flowers and Jensen’s sincere and so hopeful eyes. Kind eyes, is what they were, and for a moment it looked like a smile might just barely begin to tug at his lips. But then the change of decision in his mind could be practically read on his face, and his eyes seemed to dim.

“It’s not that simple.” Jared said quietly, but Jensen didn’t miss that it sounded like he was reluctant in saying it.

“It could be.” Jensen replied softly, yearning for the answer he so desperately wanted, “All ya gotta do is say yes.”

Jared just stared at him. It was a long pause, and what seemed like a million emotions were running across his face, through his eyes. One moment he looked so close to giving in and burying himself in Jensen’s arms, the next like he wanted to run and hide as far away as possible. Eventually, with his lips parting and closing and parting and closing with words that he couldn’t seem to get out, Jared finally ended up biting his bottom lip in an attempt to stop it from trembling. He was shaking his head, just gently, his eyes becoming shiner at the tears that were gathering there.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was cracking with emotion, “I can’t be with you. I know it’s cruel, and you’ve done nothing deserve it.” he was beginning to close the door, “I’m just sorry. Please don’t contact me again.”

“Jared?” Jensen called out, eyes wide in panic as he took a step forward as the door was nearly closed, “Jared wait, please we can-!“

But the door was shut, Jensen still standing there holding out the flowers. He didn’t move for a moment, shock keeping him staring at the little number 4 on the door. This…this wasn’t happening. Had he blown his chance at being with him? Was it the wrong thing not to care about what he was hiding? Was… _what had just happened?!_ Everything had been going so beautifully between them and now what? That was it?

Panic really began surging through him now, “Jared!!” he called out, standing right up against the door, “Jared please, I just wanna help I wanna be with you, more than anything. And I know you do too come on man those texts, the flirting, those _kisses_ I ain’t blind!” Jensen was wracking his brain on what to say, “Is this…are you thinking that I won’t wanna be with you if I find out what this thing is? Is that it? Jared? Cos whatever the reason you think we won’t work I can give you a million reasons as to why we would. Jared?!”

There was nothing but silence, and Jensen could feel the panic congregate into his heart, squeezing it painfully.

“Jared _please_ …” he whispered softly, resting his forehead against the door, squeezing his eyes shut tight against the hot wetness he could suddenly feel gathering there, “Please I…I don’t wanna end what’s barely begun Jared, please…………………Jared?”

Nothing.

Jensen wasn’t sure how long he stood there, but with no sign of Jared making any attempt to communicate with him again, Jensen could feel his squeezed heart turn to a lead weight and press painfully down against his chest. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know…what to say, how to convince him. He loved him, but he couldn’t say that so quickly that was ridiculous.

Slowly, as though it was the final seal on their ending relationship, Jensen placed the tulips at the base of the door.

“The flowers are yours.” he said quietly through the closed door, “I’ll leave them here. And…and if you ever change your mind, if you wanna give me another shot, you know where to find me. I’m not going anywhere Jared, and neither is what I feel about you.” He placed his palms against the door, as if trying to reach through, “I…I care about you.” It was a barely audible whisper, and he waited, waited just a bit longer, waiting to hear footsteps inside or the door handle turning.

But there was nothing.

Jensen wiped his eyes on the back of his hand, not letting the tears fall. At least not yet. He turned back to the impala, feeling shaky on his feet, and sliding into the driver’s seat he just sat there, staring at the motel door again. He couldn’t think of anything right now, he felt numb, like his entire insides were just a giant empty space that had been filling so fast over the past week and was now just gone, leaving nothing but dark. He didn’t know how long he’d sat there, waiting for Jared to come out, waiting to pluck up the courage to leave, whichever came first. 

But Jared didn’t come out, and Jensen barely remembered driving back home.

Inside the motel room, on the bed, was Jared’s cell phone. A half-written text message from 2 hours ago still sat inside it, just after he’d arrived back to his motel room. It had been a reply to Jensen’s text about making the date special.

_All I can think about is seeing you again tonight_ , is what he’d been going to type out, but he’d been…interrupted.

And now Jared stood against the motel door, his forehead resting against it, tears slowly dripping off his cheeks onto the dull, beige, motel carpet.

* * *

A week had passed. A full seven days of complete and total hell. It was quiet now sure, now that most of the paparazzi seemed to have left, happy with the beaten down, subdued car mechanic that Jensen had become. Of course the legal actions that had now been threatened against them from Jared had helped too.

It had been the day after the break up, when a few photos had arrived online of Jensen being turned away at Jared’s motel door, flowers on the ground outside. It had been taken through one of the motel windows from one of the rooms going off at a right angle to the rest of the motel, like an L shape, and gave whoever took it the perfect view. No words, thankfully, but the images were enough for people to guess what had happened. Jensen didn’t know who had taken the photo, but he sure hoped they got a good sum of money for selling their soul. 

The paparazzi had bombarded him once more the day after, and they didn’t care how Jensen felt, they didn’t care that his eyes were red from crying. They didn’t care that that was the first time he’d probably ever truly cried, hugging his pillow to him at night for entirely different reasons as he fell asleep replaying the breakup over and over again, wishing on so many different ways he could have tried to get Jared to see how much he wanted to be with him. How much he would love him.

But they didn’t care, they thrived on pain, and Jensen was in more pain than he’d ever felt.

Even so, he would never, _ever_ , betray what Jared had asked him to do, and still continued to say no comment to all the heart-breaking things they were asking. What had he done? Had Jared found out he only wanted him for his money? Had he been that bad in bed? Had Jensen assaulted him?

_Assaulted_ him?! Jensen had glared venomously at the reporter who’d yelled that at him, and suddenly all the terrible hurtful and unwanted emotions that had plagued him came to a boiling point at that question. A part of him instantly regretted the next words that left his lips, especially as he had been holding a hammer at the time and pointing it threateningly at the reporter as he yelled back;

“No! But I’m gonna fucking assault _you_ if you don’t _get the fuck outta my face!!!”_

Of course, that had been the little headline quote they’d used on those gossip sites, everyone out their sympathising with Jared that it sounded like this mechanic really had been abusing him and that well done Jared for getting out of it when he did. There were so many wonderful supporting messages for Jared, whereas Jensen could have suddenly announced he was Hitler reincarnated and still wouldn’t have got as much hate as he was right now.

Never piss of the fans of a superstar. He was extremely glad he had no social media account so no one could actually get a hold of him.

He had noticed however, that he didn’t have as many of the locals coming to use his services anymore. Paul had phoned him one day, asking if Jensen had closed down for a few days because he was getting inundated with customers his end of town. Jensen had had 3 cars to work on in 4 days. That was nothing.

“It’s not ‘cause of that shit they were saying about you is it? Look I’m gonna tell these people not to believe what they read about online. I know you man, you’d never hurt a fly.”

Jensen may have got a few customers back after that, but still not as many as normal. To be honest, he didn’t really care. He wasn’t in the mood for working anyway, his mind wasn’t on his job, it was outside the motel room down in town, still replaying different scenarios on getting Jared back.

It hadn’t really hit him until he’d arrived home that evening, taking out the food and wine and blankets that he’d packed, feeling a bit like a zombie, not really paying attention to where he just dumped everything on the floor when he walked inside. He’d spent hours just sitting on his couch, elbows on his knees staring at the floor, at nothing, running his hands through his hair feeling the sting of tears as he just…just stared.

When the tears finally did come, they hit him harder than anything before. He’d almost frightened himself, clutching and clawing with his hand on his chest over his heart, thinking there was no way in hell this could be normal it can’t be hurting this much nothing ever hurt like this! It didn’t matter that they’d barely known each other for even a week, the pull Jensen felt towards him, even now even sitting here alone and crying and swearing at himself for somehow ruining his chance with the most perfect human being that had ever come his way.

He knew they were meant to be together he just knew it, they had to be, cos how could anything hurt this much when being denied? They’d barely even started and it was over. It couldn’t, it just couldn’t…it couldn’t…and he’d cry, he’d cry until he fell asleep on the couch. He’d cry the next night into his pillow, and the next. And when the tears ran out, his heart wasn’t in anything he was doing. He didn’t eat very much, didn’t even drink any beer, just spent his days in a monotonous routine. Fix a car, be accused of domestic violence by the press, sit on the couch, stare at nothing. Fix a car, be shouted at by the locals, sit on the couch, stare at nothing.

Perhaps it was just out of a failing hope, but he did still send Jared a text. Just one, each morning. A part of him wondered if Jared would begin to think he was stalking him, he had said not to contact him but…but he couldn’t give up, he just couldn’t, even if it was just a text that never got replied to, which none of them ever did.

One’s like;

_I care about you._

_I still think of you._

_We kissed a week ago today._

_I’m still here for you._

He wanted Jared to know he wasn’t alone, that Jensen was here, and to please… _please_ come and find him again.

Around day five of this week of hell Jensen found out that Jared had done a statement to the press, that the awful things they were accusing Jensen of were lies. He knew how much Jared loathed to talk to the press so things must have been getting really, really bad. Perhaps Jared’s social media team was being overwhelmed. Perhaps…Jared still liked him enough to fight for him? Did he know he was being harassed so much? Did he know what was being said about him around the world?

Whatever the reason, Jared gave a statement in front of a bunch of microphones from various television stations. He said that the rumours going around were ridiculous. In no way had he been assaulted, that Jensen was not a violent man, and that their reason for ending their relationship, no matter how far along the press wanted to imagine it had gone, was entirely between him and Jensen and neither of them owed the public anything.

“If I hear of anyone harassing Jensen Ackles again I will be reserving my rite to sue against infringement of privacy.”

Jensen had no idea if that was something that could be done, weren’t the press kind of allowed…everywhere? He didn’t understand what was legal or not, but it was after that that he was not as hounded as much. A part of him not drowning in depression wanted to acknowledge that Jared had fought for him after all. He didn’t have to threaten legal action on Jensen’s behalf, but Jensen was still too dejected to have it really sink in.

A few nicer journalists, if such a thing existed, asked cautious and perfectly acceptable questions a day later, but they too soon left, and for the first time since Jensen had met Jared he spent the 7th day of this week with no reporters sniffing around his garage. He’d been getting a steady flow of customers back, and life would almost be normal again, if not for the dreadful ache that was still camping out in Jensen’s chest.

He’d taken another sneaky look online again, and again wished he hadn’t. Some of Jared’s fans were saying that Jared had obviously been forced into releasing that statement, that Jensen was obviously threatening him, and why the police hadn’t just gone round to arrest this awful mechanic they just didn’t understand.

Fucking hell didn’t these people have their own lives to fuck up? The more Jensen lived in this shared limelight of Jared’s the more sorry he felt for everyone up their in fame world. How did any one of them ever get to have their own private relationships? How did any of them ever get to be normal? You’ve either got to really, _really_ love to act or have a massive ego to live with all this chaos every moment of your life. Jared didn’t seem like the massive ego type, so he must really love his job.

Jared. 

Everything reminded Jensen of Jared. His tank tops, because Jared had worn one. His beer, because Jared had drunk a fair few of them. His couch, cos of their _entire relationship_ slowly building up on that couch. The bed, where Jared had slept and Jensen had taken care of him. The impala, for obvious reasons. Even the oil he used, pouring it into customers cars, because that was the oil that had made himself look like a monstrous wreck and yet Jared had still agreed to go out to dinner with him.

Every time he’d look to his phone, he’d hope, beyond hope, that Jared had replied to one of his texts. _Any_ reply. At this stage he didn’t even care if it was just to tell him to stop, because maybe being told again is what he needed to help get over him. Maybe he needed him to tell him once more, that even after a week he still didn’t want anything to do with him. Just one more rejection to make Jensen accept this was all over.

Of course maybe it would just make him drive back down to that motel and beg on his knees to take him back like the pathetic desperate man he was beginning to feel like.

God, he so wasn’t himself at all. He felt so lost, so unaware of his surroundings, and nothing he did made him feel any better. He just…it was just so hard to accept, because there was no reason. He couldn’t get over him because it felt like there was an opening still there, like a hole big enough to wiggle himself through to grab a hold of Jared the other side and pull him back. But Jared wasn’t allowing to do it.

Why wouldn’t he let him love him?

He looked to his phone, his text from this morning; _I miss you_ , unanswered as normal. Throwing his phone onto the couch, Jensen stood in the middle of his apartment just looking at nothing. Eventually, a thought made it to his mind that he should probably eat something. It was nearly 7.30pm and he couldn’t remember if he’d eaten today or not. With not an ounce of enthusiasm Jensen headed towards his kitchen, but then his doorbell rang.

He turned towards it slowly, and sighed. If someone was selling something, perhaps he’d feign interest and make an effort to hold a conversation. He supposed he couldn’t wallow in his own misery forever. Perhaps he should make a start to crawl himself out of it. Even if he really didn’t want to.

He opened the door slowly, looking up and locking his eyes with Jared’s.

Jensen’s lips parted, wordless shock as his mind went entirely blank. Jared stood there, pressing his lips together in the most sheepish smile Jensen had ever seen. Jared’s eyes were beginning to swim with unshed tears as he looked at him, and he gave a little helpless shrug, letting out a small breathless laugh from where he’d apparently been holding his breath.

“I’ve changed my mind.” Jared said, still showing the most nervous, ashamed smile, “’cause I miss you too.”

His voice cracked at the last word, his lip trembling again. There was such a terrified hope in his eyes, and Jensen didn’t need him to say anything more. Without a word, and as if this entire hellish week had never happened, Jensen reached up to put his hand at the back of Jared’s neck and then pulled him down until their lips met. 

The tears spilled over Jared’s bottom eyelids the moment he felt those lips again, closing his eyes tightly shut as though this was a dream he didn’t want to wake from. Jensen’s other arm wrapped around Jared’s shoulders, pulling him in tight as Jared melted into him entirely, clutching at the back of Jensen’s shirt. The moment their tongues brushed against one another again it was like a visible shudder ran through them both, hands pulling even tighter at each other’s clothes, Jensen running his hand up through Jared’s hair to the back of his head so there was no chance of allowing him to pull away. 

They kissed over and over again, tongues lapping greedily, lips shaping into each other, every movement breathless and desperate and so damned beautiful. The lead weight that had become Jensen’s heart was gone in an instant, bursting out with that fluttering lightness that only Jared had ever made him feel. His cheeks were getting wet from Jared’s relieved and happy tears, but he didn’t care, and he smiled into their kiss, feeling Jared smiling back as they both laughed just for a moment, before it was too long apart and they were kissing again.

They were making up for a weeks worth of lack of kisses, and not even oxygen was relevant right now.

However, when they found oxygen _was_ relevant, and their lips parted for the final reluctant time, Jensen moved his other hand to the back of Jared’s neck, the other still at the back of his head. He kept him there, their foreheads together just like after their first kiss over a week ago.

“There’s so much I wanna tell you.” Jared said breathlessly, “The first person I’ve _ever_ wanted to tell but…I’m _scared_. I mean it I really am.” He sounded it too, “I’m scared because you were right, I don’t want you to hate me. Can you…can you even forgive me for all this trouble I’ve caused you?”

Jensen looked into those tearful, pretty eyes, and just let out the most exasperated, loving sigh.

“Oh Jared, you…come here.” He moved them so they could hug instead, Jared once more burying his head at Jensen’s neck, Jensen pressing his nose into that long hair, “You came back. That is all I’ve wanted to happen believe me. There is nothing I have to forgive you for.”

“There will be.” came Jared’s mysterious, muffled voice, still cracking with emotion, “And even now I don’t know…I don’t know how much I can tell you.” He cuddled down into Jensen’s embrace, “I don’t wanna lose this, not again, but I don’t wanna lie to you. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted to…”

To know the truth? He didn’t finish what he was going to say, just took in a deep, shaky breath, but it sounded like that’s where the sentence was heading.

“I told you,” Jensen said softly, “whenever you’re ready, I’ll listen.”

Jared nodded, “I wanna tell you as much as I can. I don’t…think it’ll be everything but…it can be a start, right?”

Jensen just continued to hold him, squeezing him tight, “You don’t owe me any explanation Jared.”

“Yes I do.”

Jared clutched at him tightly, head still buried at his neck, and it gave the impression that Jensen shouldn’t argue with that. 

Jensen wondered why Jared had changed his mind, but also didn’t care, because he was here, in his arms, and that was more important than anything that had ever happened in his life let alone this shitty week. Yes, something was very wrong, Jared obviously had something so bad happening in his life that it was slowly destroying him, but him being here, taking that first step, this was the best sign. Jared wanted to open up with him, Jared was…trusting him, and after everything Jensen had heard about all the people who had used Jared in his life, that was the best knowledge of all.

Suddenly Jensen had an idea, and he pulled back, grasping Jared by his forearms to keep him there as he looked up at him. His face was a mess, again, and Jensen couldn’t help the small little affectionate chuckle, especially when it made Jared finally smile. He was obviously embarrassed, wiping at his eyes and face, but those little dimples were winking at Jensen from both cheeks again.

And that, more than the kiss, meant the world to him.

“Okay. If you’re baring your hidden shadowy secret then we’re doing it at an awesome place, hang here a sec.”

“Wha-?” Jared began, but just stood there where he’d been told, watching as Jensen ran back to his kitchen, only to reappear moments later with a 12 pack of beer.

Jensen grinned up at him, “We’re going on that date we never got to go on. True it ain’t gonna be as romantic as I’d planned, but,” he held up the beer, “can never fail with beer. Come on.”

He passed Jared, taking his hand as he did, pulling him down the stairs behind him. Jared stumbled after him, quickly holding onto the hand rail with his other hand. He was looking down at their held hands as he was pulled along, and though his face perhaps was still slightly surprised, it held the sweetest blush on his still smiling, dimpled cheeks.


	7. “More than anything I have ever wanted.”

It would take about half an hour to get up to the view point, and after Jensen had let go of Jared’s hand so they could both get into the impala, it seemed Jared was very eager to get that hand back. Barely out the driveway and he had moved his own hand from where it lay on his lap, just slowly, as though asking if this was alright after everything he had put Jensen through since the breakup. He rested it on top of Jensen’s hand that lay on his own knee, Jensen driving casually with just the one hand on the steering wheel. Jensen glanced down to it, a smile curling his lips as Jared once more slid his fingers through Jensen’s and just stayed there, Jensen looking to him and seeing such a hopefully sweet smile.

He gave those warm fingers a little reassuring squeeze, but then quickly turned back to the road when the impala started drifting onto the sand.

Jensen was already having trouble focusing on the road when all he wanted to do was look at Jared. Just taking in the fact he was actually here, he had come back, Jensen had got his second chance. Thankfully this time of evening on a desert road there weren’t very many other vehicles, which he felt would be a very, very good thing on this journey. He just had so much he wanted to say to him, he wanted to hold him again to kiss him again. And yeah okay Jared was right, he probably did owe him an explanation for the breakup, but that didn’t matter to Jensen! Jensen had said he’d be there if Jared changed his mind and he had, he was here, and that was the only thing Jensen cared about.

God…he really was here.

“I’ve missed you Jared. You have no idea how much.” He admitted, and in a sweeping romantic gesture raised Jared’s hand and kissed the back of it, lips lingering there for a good few seconds while his eyes remained on the road.

It was a moment before Jared replied, possibly because he was waiting for the burst of red on his cheeks to subside so his brain could focus again.

“I-…I can hazard a guess.” Jared stuttered softly, staring at Jensen’s lip, “I am sorry for what I did.” he then murmured quietly, looking away, “For turning you away. I just…”

He trailed off, and Jensen glanced to him, “I know. You must have had your reasons and you say you’re gonna tell me so, it can wait. Trust me, this view will have you so relaxed you’ll be telling me this secret of yours with the biggest smile on your face.”

Jared let out a small chuckle, “Well I doubt that, but now I’m really looking forward to seeing it.”

After a little while the conversation relaxed into normal, irrelevant things, once again proving that even after that week of chaos and being unwillingly apart, that they still fell so easily into conversation. Jared began to tell a story of some local kids that were messing around on the set at the entrance to the caves a few days ago. Above the entrance, where the first body of water was that led deeper underground, there was a 60 foot drop from a cliff right above it. Right in the middle of a shoot some kids had jumped, landing in the water right close to where Jared had been swimming. Thankfully no one had been hurt, but the local rangers had taken them back home.

“Ah yeah, the Jump.” Jensen said with a reminiscing smile, “Popular thing for the kids to do. I did it once, broke my damn wrist.”

There was an understandable nervousness coming from Jared as the journey continued, but most of the time he had this little restful smile on his face. Sometimes he’d look like he was in thought, a slight crease to his brow as he was perhaps thinking of what he was going to say when they arrived, but most times he just gazed over at Jensen. Jensen would once more flick his eyes briefly to him, back to the road to ensure he was still in the correct lane, before looking back at him again, the both of them smiling at each other like love struck idiots.

It was the company, more than words, that was needed right now. And the touch. As the journey continued off the desert road curling up around one of the flat-topped mountains, Jensen needed to move his hand to change gears every now and then, and Jared would put his hand right back on top once he had.

Having him back was, to Jensen, as if the past week never even happened. Paparazzi making him out to be a violent abuser? Fans saying he should be arrested? Crying into his pillow? Nope, Jensen didn’t know any of that, because Jared was here in his car, they were going on their date, and he was holding his hand. He hadn’t even been angry at Jared over the breakup, he’d just been so awfully upset that he’d lost him, and now he didn’t want to stop looking at him in case this was all a dream and in reality he was alone in his bed with his heart still aching.

Also, now Jared wanted to admit what was going on with him, Jensen found himself desperate to know what it was. Not because he _wanted_ to know, but so he could see the look on Jared’s face when he finished telling him and Jensen’s planned reaction was to just hug him and tell him everything was okay. He honestly had trouble picturing Jared doing anything wrong.

But Jensen wasn’t being as naïve as Jared had accused him of at the motel.

Since they got into the impala he had been thinking back to the night Jared turned up at his door drunk, and the more he thought about it, the more it did sound like he was being bribed for something. But Jared had not exactly been forthcoming with any details, nothing in the morning, and nothing but drunken ramblings during the night. Jensen was entirely prepared to be on Jared’s side, but he’d told himself he wouldn’t just dismiss whatever it was. There was listening and accepting what someone had done wrong, and then there was ignoring it entirely just because he was madly in love with him.

Which…thinking about it, was that what he’d been doing? Did he not care what Jared might have done because he didn’t want to think he wasn’t perfect? Was he still idolising the famous person underneath these new feelings? Was it good that he didn’t care, or was he being blind? Jensen didn’t know the answer to any of these, but now Jared wanted to tell him all he knew was that if his perfect Jared wasn’t perhaps so perfect, he’d listen, understand, and then show him he was still loved. After all, in reality he couldn’t have done anything… _illegal_ , because there’d be no way he’d want to ever admit that to anyone.

Right?

But then what could he have done?

Jensen had far too many questions now he was thinking about it. Still, that didn’t mean to say he wasn’t already planning the untimely death of whoever was taking advantage of Jared like that. If that’s what was going on. Did nobody but himself care about Jared’s smile? It lit up his whole face like a beam of sunshine, it should be considered a natural heritage, protected at all costs, it…

Wow…he really was in love with him.

Their conversation picked up even more the further they got up the mountain. When Jensen said they were nearly there that lead on to him describing, with a slight blush, the evening he’d originally had planned for them. With the picnic and the wine.

“It was stupid, I know.” Jensen said bashfully at Jared’s silent stare, but Jared just shook his head slowly.

“It sounded wonderful. I’m…sorry, for screwing it up.”

Jensen looked to him again, and Jared’s head was bowed, looking to his hand in his lap. He really needed to stop apologising.

“Hey,” Jensen said, giving the hand he was holding a quick squeeze so Jared would look up at him, “we’ll do it another time.”

“I hope so.”

The tone suggested Jared still wasn’t entirely convinced there’d be another time if Jensen disliked what he was going to admit, especially as he looked back down to his lap again. Jensen let a brief glower crease his expression, before checking he wasn’t about to drive into the cliff face to their left or the cliff edge coming up on their right, he leant across to give Jared a quick peck on the cheek.

The little blush he got in response looked much better, and Jared pressed his lips together in a grateful little smile.

“I kept the tulips by the way.” he said, that little blush still there, “Thank you for them.”

Oh the joy that filled Jensen’s entire chest at hearing that. He tried to keep down the grin that wanted to escape so he didn’t look like a crazy person, but that one little sentence instantly proved to him that Jared hadn’t really wanted to break up with him, just like he’d had thought at the time. It’s why he couldn’t be angry with Jared, it hadn’t felt like he’d wanted to do it in the first place, and now he pictured those tulips leaning up against the wall in one of those tiny motel glasses full of water, just there on a bedside draw.

“Yeah?” Jensen grinned, failing at keeping it hidden, “Well you’re welcome.”

Jared had kept the flowers. He’d wanted to keep a part of Jensen there.

“Do you um…do you know what tulips represent?” Jared then asked, rather coyly.

“Nope, ain’t got a clue.”

Jensen said it so honestly that it made Jared laugh, just for a moment, and Jensen looked at him quizzically.

“Oh God what? What, do they mean Happy Death Day or something stupid like that?”

Jared just shook his head, smiling as though having a private joke with himself, “I think you should just look it up one day.”

“What? No, come on, what-what did I give you what was I saying?” Jensen whined playfully, but Jared refused to tell, and it was a good few minutes before Jensen gave up, jokingly glaring at him. 

Yeah, it seemed he was definitely going to have to look that up.

They travelled in silence for a few more minutes, before Jared spoke again, “You’ve never asked me what I did. What it is I don’t want people to know.” His voice seemed hesitant, and Jensen just stroked the back of Jared’s hand with his thumb.

“I told you before, it’s none of my business.”

“Yeah but…I could have done anything. Aren’t you, you know, curious?”

Jensen smiled warmly, “Well sure, but it’s still none of business.” He looked across at him, and Jared was looking at him oddly, almost frowning. “Alright fine,” Jensen chuckled, “this thing you’re hiding, did anyone die?”

“ _What_!?” Jared exclaimed loudly, genuine shock, “No of _course_ not!!”

Jensen just shrugged, that smile becoming rather cheeky, “Well then who cares what you did? Everyone’s got shit in their past they ain’t proud of.”

“You don’t seem to.” Jared said quietly.

“Oh please, I do.”

“Oh?”

Jensen glanced to him again, and now Jared looked genuinely intrigued, “Well……okay, if we’re all telling secrets today. This girl I was seeing once when I was 15? It wasn’t working out and I wanted to break up with her, but problem was I was being a total coward about it and ended up doing something pretty cruel. This is not my finest moment okay? So anyway I tell her I was gonna take her horse-riding at the ranch that’s about 5 miles outta town, so her parents drop her off and then I just…didn’t turn up, didn’t answer my phone, nothin’. I heard she waited for over an hour in the stables before calling her parents to come and pick her up again. That ended _that_ relationship.”

Jared was just staring at him incredulously, “ _That’s_ the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

Jensen glanced from him to the road and back again, not really expecting the puzzled and rather amused expression, “Well…she thought it was pretty bad.” He defended with a pout.

And then Jared began to laugh again, so hard in fact he had to turn his head away, looking out the window and holding the backs of his fingers to his lips to try and stifle it.

“ _What_?” Jensen grinned, getting caught up in the laughter, “I can be bad!”

That just had Jared laughing even harder, tears at the corners of his eyes as he wiped them away. Trying to calm himself he turned back to him, shoulders still jerking from suppressed hilarity.

“Yeah, sure, I believe you.”

Jensen’s pout got even poutier, and he turned back to the road, “I can be bad.” He muttered again, feeling Jared putting his hand back over his own again, still sniggering beside him.

* * *

“We’re here.” Jensen said, pulling off the road onto the dusty flat rock that continued outwards, right up to the cliff edge where it dropped a good 400 feet.

As he slowly pulled up to a safe distance from the edge, he watched with a growing grin at the look of amazement on Jared’s face.

“Oh my God…” Jared whispered, staring out the windscreen and opening the door, not looking away for a second from the view ahead of him as he stepped outside.

It had just gone 8pm now, and the summer sun was only just beginning to sink towards the horizon. The odd tiny fluffy cloud picked up the yellows, oranges and reds that spread out from it, the odd star just beginning to show high above them in the darker blue. With the rest of the vertical mountain cliff high up behind them, the view went on all the way to the completely flat horizon, from the left all the way round to the right. The town was down below further ahead, and you could just make out the building that was Jensen’s garage before it. The town was the only presence of human life, nothing else but sand as far as the eye could see, and the one straight main road that seemed to disappear over the edge of the world.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Jensen said, getting out the car and picking up the beer from the back seat.

He walked round to the front of the impala where Jared now stood and rested back against the hood, half sitting half leaning, placing the beer behind him. Shoving his hands in his jean pockets, he watched Jared watching the view.

“It’s stunning.” Jared breathed, the oranges and reds picking out the lighter shades in his hair, something that Jensen noticed as he gazed up at the back of his head, “I can see why you like it here so much.”

“You wait till the sun sets,” Jensen said, not taking his eyes off him, “the stars here, man…you haven’t seen a sky until you’ve seen this one.”

Ripping his gaze away, thinking that Jared’s hair almost took on a honey colour in this light, he took one of the bottles out the pack and took off the twist cap. Jared heard it and looked behind him, Jensen smiling as he held it out for him. Smiling back, Jared took the bottle with a small thanks and sat on the hood next to him, his long legs stretched out before him, crossing one ankle over the other on the ground. He took a swig of the beer as Jensen opened one for himself, and they just sat there together, shoulder to shoulder, taking in the view, taking in the quiet.

“You know,” Jensen said with a smile, breaking the silence, “beer probably isn’t a good idea for me. I haven’t had a thing to eat today, plus I’m driving. Better make it just a couple huh, don’t wanna be driving us off the cliff.”

There was a pause as Jared glanced to him. He parted his lips as though to ask why he hadn’t eaten anything, but then glanced away. Perhaps it was the same reason Jared hadn’t been eating much this week either. Instead, he reached into his pocket, handing Jensen a miniature candy bar.

“Here. I snuck it from the on-set catering. It’s probably melted but, it’ll do the same job.”

Jensen looked at it, and took it from his hand slowly, “Thanks.” He smiled, before breaking the small bar in half, unwrapping it and giving the other half back to Jared. Jared chuckled pleasantly and took it back, both of them staring out to the setting sun again as they ate their small pieces of chocolate.

“Heh, beer and half a candy bar, hardly the picnic I’d had in mind.” Jensen quipped with a smirk, watching Jared for his reaction and mentally patting himself on the back for making those dimples appear again as Jared laughed. 

He’d made Jared laugh a lot this evening already.

There was silence again afterwards, both looking back out at the view again, beer being occasionally brought to lips.

“You know there’s one thing I’ve been meaning to ask.” Jensen said. There was some sort of unspoken understanding between them that Jared had not yet started talking about his issue, and Jensen was going to make him as comfortable as he could with random chat until he felt right for the moment. “You don’t sound that Texan. It comes out a bit here and there, but mostly…-oh, except when you’re drunk, then you’re _really_ Texan.” Jared might have blushed a little embarrassed at the memory of that night, “Why is that?”

Jared gave a small shrug, “I guess in movies unless your character is supposed to be specifically from a certain state, the accent you have has to be generalised. Anyone around the world can hear you talk and know you’re American, but not necessarily know from where. Over the years I guess it’s kinda taken over.”

“Huh.” Jensen nodded, taking a swig of his beer.

Silence again. Jensen glanced to him, Jared now looking down to the dusty rock beneath their feet. He didn’t look troubled exactly, but there was definitely something going on in his mind. Jensen decided to remain quiet this time, to let him think, after all they were here specifically for Jared. There was no rush, they had all night if needed, there was nothing to interrupt them but the slight evening breeze.

Having said that, he didn’t want Jared to think he was suffering alone with his thoughts.

He decided to shuffle a little closer, pressing himself against Jared’s side and gently sliding his arm around his waist, his hand resting along Jared’s hipbone. He didn’t try anything else, just sat there beside him, giving him silent comfort as he took another drink of his beer and looked back out across the slowly darkening sky. He could see Jared look to him out the corner of his eye, and was sure he might have seen a little smile.

Jensen remembered the first time he’d seen this view. He’d only been a small kid, his parents taking him on his first hike through the mountains. They’d stopped here for lunch, even though it was still relatively close to home. Of course being that young he had no appreciation for what he was looking at, sitting on his dad’s shoulders as his dad pointed out the garage down below. He remembered thinking; wow, he must be the tallest person in the entire world right now, sitting up here on what must be the biggest cliff in the entire world.

Jensen’s whole life had revolved around this little sandy town, and yet no matter all the joy it gave him, nothing compared to feeling Jared’s warmth tucked beside him. He could have happily closed his eyes against the sky, against all this beauty, and just listened to Jared breathing.

“That night I turned up drunk.” Jared began quietly, still looking at the ground as Jensen blinked out of his memories and turned to watch him. So this was it huh? “Someone turned up at my motel room who…” he trailed off for a moment, before sighing loudly, rubbing the back of his neck and looking up ahead of himself. Certainly not looking towards Jensen. “I’m being bribed.” He stated blankly, “To keep secret a very stupid thing I did before I even became an actor. Something that…I’m not proud of, and in fact it’s pretty much ended up haunting me for the rest of my career.” He lowered his head again, his hair falling over his eyes, “That night at yours…each year he turns up, doesn’t seem to matter where I am, and I have to hand over a certain amount of money to keep him quiet. That particular night he was asking for more than what had been agreed upon, to change our deal, and the funny thing is it wouldn’t have mattered so much if my mom hadn’t been in that accident.” He stopped again, staring at his beer for a moment before taking a drink.

“Four years ago, I remember.” Jensen said, still watching him, making sure he listened to every word.

Jared nodded, “Right now I’m taking advantage of being as popular as I am so save every penny possible, all for her. The care home she’s in, it’s…extremely expensive, extremely high market, she has a lot of needs and caring required to have as best life as she can. I wouldn’t want her anywhere else. And actors fall in and out of favour with the industry all the time so I wanted to save while I could, so I’d always have enough for her. Even if I fell out of work I wanted to make sure she could stay there for the rest of her life, cos it’s gonna cost many millions over her lifetime. And then here he comes, demanding more, taking it from the money meant for her. The more scripts I take, the more money I get, the more money he’s gonna demand.” He sounded miserable as he spoke, “He’s just gonna keep raising the amount, I know it. And that night, before I came to you, things just…they just got a little too much. I ended up drinking and you know the rest.”

They sat again in silence, Jensen taking in what he’d said. Okay so that… _mostly_ made sense, though Jensen had to admit he was curious how much this guy was asking for because Jared made millions of dollars per movie as it was, so what was this guy demanding that it had driven Jared to the state he was in? He suspected there may have been more to it but…no, one thing at a time.

Though he did feel a _huge_ wave of warmth towards him at just how much he cared for his mom. 

“That’s why you took this job isn’t it?” Jensen enquired, recalling how he’d asked Jared at the restaurant why he’d taken a movie that sounded so not a smash hit.

Jared nodded, “I had two months to kill from Soul Survivor being released before I started filming the 2nd part. This was a small movie, it filled the gap, gave me another pay check. And now he just wants more, so what was the point?” He sighed.

“Well…you got to meet me, that’s a good point?”

Jensen could see the true smile on Jared’s face, and he grinned back when Jared looked to him, “Well that’s true.” Jared admitted, still smiling, which was always a win in Jensen’s mind.

They were so close, looking at each other like this, but Jared’s smile soon fell slowly away as he looked ahead of himself again, staring down at the ground.

“This thing you did…” Jensen asked quietly, “how does this guy know you did it?”

Jared took a long drink of his beer, and then in took a deep breath that he released slowly.

“Because he was there, and because…” he paused again, running his hand through his hair. Jensen could tell he was beginning to struggle, and gave his waist a little conforming press, “I should just tell you.” Jared whispered, more to himself than Jensen.

“It’s okay.” Jensen said softly, but Jared shook his head, seeming to gear himself up as he took another breath to steady his nerves.

“You asked me, how I got the job of my first movie? After I finished high school I told my parents I wanted to move to LA, to try my luck at starting my acting career. My mom supported me completely, and yeah she was scared of me moving to such a big city by myself so soon but, she knew it was something I’d wanted from practically the moment I could talk. But my dad…we had this massive argument. He thought by now that I’d have grown out of wanting to be an actor, he still thought it was trivial. He then said that if I went he wouldn’t help pay for anything, wouldn’t help me at all, and he’d be here at home waiting for me to come back when I failed.”

Jensen’s eyes went wide with a stunned shock, “Well Jesus that’s kinda harsh ain’t it?!” he exclaimed.

What kind of parent said that to their own kid?!

“Oh we made up, after I finished that first movie.” Jared said, “He eventually saw how much it meant to me and he apologised, but…at the time? I was 18 and stubborn, and I wanted to prove him wrong. So, I packed up my stuff, took all my savings from part time jobs and what my mom could sneak me, and I left.” He shook his head in a negative, sighing again and taking another drink of beer, “I was so stupid. This was LA, where hundreds of aspiring actors go every _day_ hoping they’ll be spotted, ones with far more experience than I had. But I was teenager, therefore I was right about everything, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before someone noticed me. Problem is, no one did.”

“No one? That’s hard to believe.”

Jensen wondered what kind of idiots these people were for turning him down, and hoped they now knew what they’d passed up.

“I turned up for any and all auditions, even stupid stuff like audience participation question askers in tv commercials, _anything_. But I failed every one of them, there was always someone better. Three months later and if I didn’t get some money coming in I wouldn’t be able to pay my rent and I’d have to go back home. But I was still mad at my dad, and the thought of having to go back with my tail between my legs, proving he was right? I couldn’t bare thinking about it. I had one more audition lined up, so I went, and I thought I’d done a really good job of it.” But Jared then lowered his head, his chin nearly against his chest, staring at the beer bottle that he’d rested against his thigh, “But I didn’t even get to the door before I was told I hadn’t got it.”

Jensen pulled an appalled face at that, “You know the more I hear about acting the more it sucks.”

Jared let out a small humourless chuckle, “You have no idea, at least the auditioning part anyway, sure does suck the life out of ya. Anyway, the guy who told me was one of the talent scouts at the audition who’d been watching everyone. His name was…” Jared paused, suddenly taking a deep, _deep_ drink of his beer, “his name _is_ Darrell, and when he told me I didn’t have the part he said there was one thing I _did_ have, and that was the _looks_ of a movie star. He told me there was a different movie being cast where the director of it owed him a favour, and if I put those looks to good use he could get me the lead on it. Me, being naïve and desperate and just been told I could get a lead part, happily asked what he needed me to do.”

Jensen could already feel his soul sinking on Jared’s behalf at where this sounded like it was going. Everyone everywhere had heard of these sleazy producers or directors or whatever’s, taking advantage of young actors and actresses. Sometimes it hit the news when one of them came forward to bring the perverts down, but shit…was that what had happened to Jared?

Without saying a word Jensen raised his head and gently kissed the side of Jared’s temple. He had to really straighten his back to reach. He kept his lips pressed there for a good few seconds, just like when he’d kissed the back of his hand, before slowly pulling away. He made sure the hand around his waist was gripping him tight. 

Jared understood that Jensen got what he’d done.

“I didn’t want to do it.” Jared said, so quietly Jensen could barely hear him, “When he told me what he wanted me to do I just…I just _couldn’t face_ going back home a failure. Proving my dad right was one thing, but my mom? All my life she’d supported me with this, I couldn’t go back telling her it was all for nothing.” He lowered his head again, staring at the bottle in his hand, his entire posture radiating regret and guilt, “So I did it, right there in his office that he’d taken me back to. I told myself it was just...just sex.” He hesitated, because now he’d just said it out loud for the first time, and he took in a shaky breath as the emotions started to get the better of him, “It didn’t mean anything, it wouldn’t affect me in any way, it was just sex so what did it matter? I told that to myself over, and over, and over again as he…”

Jared didn’t finish the sentence, his throat constricting as he bit the inside of his lip, taking another swig of the beer as a pretence for gathering himself together. There wasn’t much left of it now. Jensen’s had barely been touched.

“Jared…” Jensen said painfully, watching him drink before Jared turned away from him, looking out the other direction, obvious that he was taking in controlled breaths.

He didn’t want him to see his face.

Jensen had no idea what to say. He wanted to take him in his arms and burn the memory of it out of Jared so he didn’t have to sound so broken. He wanted to comfort him, but what could anyone say to comfort such a vial thing happening to them? He didn’t know how to start. There was a mass love and protection he felt towards him, and a mass hatred for this man who had used him.

It made him suddenly very conscious at how closely they were sitting, at how tightly he was holding Jared, and the fact he’d just kissed his temple. Would Jared want to be so close to anyone after just admitting that he’d been…well, in a way it was consensual, but in another way… in another way this guy had taken deliberate advantage of a desperate for work young actor knowing damn well what he was about to ask him to do, knowing he was offering the one thing Jared, or any other young actor, would never want to pass up. In a way, that was extortion.

People were fucking sick.

Still, Jared may have turned away but he wasn’t trying to get away, so perhaps it was okay to be this close. Perhaps he’d want the reassurance of Jensen just being next to him, one arm holding him securely. But still, Jensen was confused. Was this what he was being bribed about? But why? Even if this Darrell told people what Jared had done it wasn’t like there was any proof, so how could…

The moment he thought it, a horrible, sickening dark thought suddenly entered Jensen’s mind, his expression reflecting the horror he suddenly felt inside as Jared began talking again.

“Afterwards he just…threw the script at me, told me I’d got the job and to get out. I thought that would be it, I mean I felt… _disgusting_ , for doing it, but hey I had my foot in the door so maybe I could just forget it happened. I did the movie, and when it was released it did, you know, pretty well, and then… then one day shortly after he turns up at my apartment.”

Jensen closed his eyes. Please, to any God that existed please tell him Jared wasn’t about to say what he thought he might.

“Turns out that he’d…that…” Jared’s head bent even lower, still not looking Jensen’s way, and his voice was so quiet and painfilled Jensen wanted him to both stop and to continue, just to get it out, get it over with so he didn’t have to sound like this anymore, “…he’d set up secret cameras around his office, and had recorded the entire happy event.”

“Jesus fuck…” Jensen whispered harshly, his lips pressed together tightly, twitching with revulsion towards this man.

Forget murdering this piece of shit, he was going to torture him to his last agonising breath, _then_ kill him.

“I wasn’t the first young thing he’d conned into sleeping with him,” Jared continued, “but it turns out I was the first that had actually done quite well for himself. So, he said I either pay him a…large percentage, of what every movie I ever do for the rest of my career earns, or he’ll release that footage to the world.”

“Why didn’t you go to the cops?!” Jensen questioned, the first thing that popped into his mind, because it sure as hell would have been the first thing he’d done if that had been him.

“Because was I was terrified I didn’t know what to do!” Jared exclaimed back, almost angrily, “And what would I say to them anyway? It was my fault I’d agreed to sleep with him, plus the thought of it being confiscated and people _watching_ it…I just couldn’t! And all it would take is one corrupt officer to put it out online themselves or bribe me instead, believe me I was thinking of every possible worst case scenario. And at the time so early in my career it wasn’t even that I was worried about, it was if my _parents_ saw it. I mean that’s just the worst imaginable nightmare it made me feel violently _sick_ just thinking about it! So in a panic yeah, I agreed to be bribed.” He still sounded angry, defensive, and now getting very stressed too, “And yeah I knew there were a ton of actors who deliberately slept around to advance their careers, but that wasn’t me I wasn’t like that! I didn’t want anyone else to think I was! I don’t want _you_ to think I am!” His voice was getting louder, desperate, distraught, “Except the problem is it _is_ me, and he has the video to prove it! Because why would anyone ever believe me?! No one would stop to think that maybe this guy just didn’t want to let down his mom! That maybe he was just a stupid teenager who’d made a stupid mistake, who’d wanted so badly to do the _one_ job he’d dreamt of for his _entire life_ that-”

Suddenly Jared was being pulled into Jensen’s arms, making him turn to him, Jensen bringing Jared’s head to his shoulder as he cradled it there with his arms wrapped tight around him. It was an awkward position from how they sat on the hood, more of a half hug, but Jensen was not allowing that pain in Jared’s voice to go on any longer. No way.

He’d heard all he needed to understand.

So he held him, supported him, Jared’s beer slipping from his hand and crashing to the ground almost the exact same time Jensen’s slid off the hood where he’d hurriedly put it down at how distressed Jared was getting.

“You don’t have to explain it away.” Jensen said softly into Jared’s hair, but there was a sternness to his voice too, because now it was his turn to speak to get Jared to understand something very important, “You were not in the wrong here, that Darrell guy was. And I don’t hate you for what you did cos I know that’s what you’re thinking. It’s what you’ve been worrying about all this time isn’t it?”

Jared heaved heavily onto his shoulder for a moment, before the tell-tale crack of a sob escaped. He grabbed onto Jensen’s arm, hugging him so close as he pressed as much of his body as he could against him. Jensen shuffled his own body round a bit more to ease the angle, and Jared just buried more of himself against him, his arms around him like he was clinging onto a life raft.

Jensen could read into this all too well. This is what Jared was afraid he’d hate him for. For cheating the start to his career, for giving in, for being weak, at least from Jared’s point of view. But Jensen didn’t hate him for it, how could he? Jared had been used, and he was victim blaming himself. 

He rubbed his back up and down where he held him.

“I tried _so hard_ ,” Jared wailed into his shoulder, his whole body shuddering, “and it’s all my own _damned_ fault! If I’d just gone home…if I’d just swallowed my _fucking_ pride…but no. I’ve made my mistake and now I’m paying for it. I’m gonna be paying for it for the rest of my life!” 

“Jared, look at me.” Jensen said softly.

But Jared just shook his head, clinging to him tighter, “It’s why I broke up with you. I was replying to one of your texts and it just suddenly hit me, and I got _so scared_ cos I…” he paused, holding him closer still, “…what I feel for you…”he whispered, and Jensen’s heart skipped a small beat, “no one else I’d ever been with, even one I thought I loved I never wanted to tell her, _never_ , but you? I just couldn’t picture being with you and hiding this, and I was _so afraid_ you’d hate me. So why? Why don’t you hate me? What I did was-”

“What you did was fall into a trap, that was all.” Jensen said, before Jared could come up with the probable degrading words he was trying to think of, because the only person here that seemed to hate Jared was Jared himself, “That guy knew damn well he was dangling the one thing you wanted on a hook right in front of your face, and then exploited you in your one time of desperation. He should be in jail for what he did to you, for what he’s _still_ doing to you. Jared _come on,_ look at me.”

He forced Jared out of his arms, Jared pulling Jensen’s shirt along with him before letting go, his grip having been so hard. Jensen cupped his face to make him look at him, wiping the tears from his cheeks using his thumbs. But Jared still just looked so terrified. He’d obviously kept this a secret for so long, and Jensen was still processing what he’d said about his _feelings_ for him, about wanting, _needing_ , to tell him the truth. This meant Jensen meant something to him, perhaps even a lot to him. Jared needed him to know the truth, then to hear back that that Jensen still lov-…Jensen let the L word flicker to the front of his thought for just half a hopeful second.

It meant Jared needed Jensen to forgive him. But there wasn’t anything to forgive.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Jensen said deliberately slowly, staring right into Jared’s shining, frightened eyes.

“But I’m a fraud.” Jared croaked out, his bottom lip trembling once more.

“You’re a damn Oscar nominee, you think they give those out to shit actors?”

Jared let out a tiny, tiny laugh at that, an equally tiny flicker of a smile coming to those trembling lips. It was amazing how much it brightened his entire face immediately. He looked at Jensen now with that quizzical puppy dog expression, a long hidden, aching sadness that had been eating him up for years still there, but now with perhaps a little bit of hope in those pretty eyes. Ones that had now stopped with the tears. Slowly, Jared reached up to place his hand over one of Jensen’s on his cheek, his fingers curling round it, bringing it down to hold it between them.

“It was still my choice though.” He said, his voice still a little shaky but a lot calmer, “I could have said no, and I didn’t.”

His voice may have been less strained, but he was holding Jensen’s hand almost painfully tightly, showing through it just how nervous he still was. And Jensen understood, he did, but they’d come so far now. Jared just needed a little bit more support. So, Jensen lowered his other hand and placed it on top of Jared’s, holding that large hand between both his own.

“No.” Jensen said, that sternness in his voice again, “No you listen to me. If he hadn’t approached you, you would have just gone home. And yeah your dad sounds like he would have been a righteous ass for a while, but your mom sounds like a real nice lady so I doubt she’d have been disappointed in you. In fact she probably would have helped you save up to try again another year, am I wrong?”

Jared slowly shook his head, averting his gaze in shame.

“But him? That Darrell guy? I really need you to understand this Jared when I say _he’s_ in the wrong, _not_ you. He came to you with the full intention of taking advantage of you. You may have agreed, but that doesn’t mean it was consensual, okay? You are not the bad person in this story, _he_ is, and there is _no way_ that you should be blaming yourself.”

Jared sat there quietly, gazing at him so intently, almost like he was trying to read his mind. A little frown there, a little flicker of something good there, it was like he was trying to sense for any falsehoods, any lies, any hint that Jensen was just saying all this because he suspected it’s what Jared wanted to hear, not that he actually meant it.

Eventually, his expression rested on one of hopeful surprise, eyes suddenly seeming so wide and innocent.

“So…you…do you still wanna…be with me?” he asked, terribly nervously, “Despite everything I’ve just told you? Despite the fact I think I’ve cried more times in front of you than anyone in my entire adult life?” he added, with a small, awkward smile.

Jensen gave him a grin for that, and relief flooded through him. Oh yeah, that was a good sign, he was making jokes again. Jensen raised his hand, running it gently through Jared’s hair, back from his temple. He looked at him right in those hopeful eyes.

“More than anything I have ever wanted.”

Jared let out a tiny sob that sounded like half a laugh, a smile growing fast as he wiped at his eyes, “Don’t get me started again.”

Jensen grinned at him warmly, and caught him off guard by closing the very small distance between them and pressing their lips together. It was just a small, brief kiss, just a few seconds, dry lips meeting salty wetness, but the look of absolute love in Jared’s eyes when Jensen pulled away…it was the best look Jensen had ever seen. It was a look of unbelievable gratitude, of such welcome surprise. It was a look that said Jared had never expected to tell that story and for this to be the end result, and it was the best result he could possibly have ever dreamed of.

And that was a look of love, Jensen was sure of it. He knew because that was exactly the same look he gave Jared all the time.

“So Jared I’m now gonna ask you same question I asked at the motel,” Jensen said, still running his fingers over and over again through Jared’s hair, “and this time the answer better damn well be yes.” At that Jared gave a small giggle, gazing at Jensen like he was the most precious being in the world, “Will you give us a chance?” Jensen asked, his hand now stroking down Jared’s cheek, “Can we be together? Cos we’d be awesome together.”

Jared smiled at him so achingly beautifully, but he looked down just for a moment and wet his lips, looking back up, “Before I answer that, you’ve gotta understand that being with me comes with a lot of public interest, a lot of paparazzi…and you’ve already seen what they can do.” He said with a little pained smile, “There’s not much privacy. Are you gonna be okay with that?”

Jensen just raised an eyebrow at him, “If you think a bunch of God damned reporters are gonna stand between me and you, not a chance in this life or any other.”

“Yeah you say that now, but-“

“-Jared?” Jensen interrupted, “I have known you for two weeks. When we met I was a starstruck, oily fanboy, but by the end of that first week I had got to know you better than anyone else I have ever known, because I had never _enjoyed_ getting to know someone as much as you. That second week I spent pinning over you like you wouldn’t believe, and the only thing I could think about was what I could have done differently to get you back. Now you’ve just told me your best kept secret, afraid that I would hate you for it, but Jared? The fact you’ve lived with this _misguided_ guilt all this time, the fact you are carrying on for the pure love of your job, for looking after your mom, and _still_ suffering through this fucked up bribery going on? Jared, you are the bravest, strongest, most compassionate man I have ever met, and I am _damned_ proud to know you. So do me a favour and shut up, say yes, and then we can get back to the kissing. Okay with you?”

Jared was staring at him, his eyes so wide as he took in the most heartfelt, beautiful words that had ever been spoken to him in his entire life. Jensen was extremely proud of his little speech, but wondered if he’d…broken Jared, when the man did nothing but just stare at him like he’d suddenly sprouted wings.

But then, that bottom lip began trembling once again, and unlike all the other times this one was accompanied by a smile that grew on Jared’s face so large it almost split his face in half. Those dimples sunk in so deep as his eyes swam with euphoric tears, and he let out a short laugh of such overwhelming happiness.

“Yes.” He choked out, grinning and crying all at the same time.

Jensen gave him a brilliant, beaming grin to match, and internally he was screaming for joy, dancing and flailing around like he’d won the lottery. In reality, he kissed him, kissed him hard through the laughter and the tears, and it was messy and wonderful and neither of them could stop smiling making it very difficult to actually kiss. 

They soon both gave up, giggles taking over them, and instead pulled each other into a crushing hug. Neither of them could stop with the grinning and laughing and crying, and even Jensen felt his eyes begin to swim at just how happy Jared was. 

And the fact he had him back, for real now. They were together. _For real._

Jensen had done the right thing. He’d listened, he’d accepted (well, dismissed actually, because Jared was entirely wrong but he wasn’t going to argue with himself over it), and he’d shown Jared he was still loved. Because he was, and he so desperately wanted to say it aloud, it felt like it was on the tip of his tongue every second. He wanted to say he loved him, he wanted to say that Jared would never be more loved in the world than with him. It felt like after all this confession, all these words and admissions and tears, an _I love you_ would be the icy on the cake.

But they’d also still only known each other for a very short time, despite everything that had happened between them.

“I told you not to make me cry again.” Jared half sobbed half laughed still, running his hand up through Jensen’s hair as he pressed his face right into it.

“Damn, I’ve let you down, guess we’re gonna have to break up again.” Jensen quipped, and Jared laughed some more, squeezing him closer.

“No way, not letting you go no chance. And I really wanna…I want to say something so badly to you but…I dunno if it’s-“

“I’m in love with you Jared.” Jensen whispered, and it was the most natural thing he had ever said in his life. 

It fell off his tongue like the words had been created specifically for him, like no one else could possibly ever own them, or understand them. They were words that only he was born to say, and they were words only the man in his arms was born to hear.

Jared stilled for a moment, but only a very short one. He leant back, breaking their hug, and as he slipped both of his hands round the back of Jensen’s neck to cradle his head he looked to his eyes. What he was thinking Jensen couldn’t say, because they closed as Jared kissed him, and it was a kiss that felt exactly like saying those words had felt. It was a kiss created specifically for Jensen, a kiss one else could ever own or understand. A kiss Jared was born to give only to the man in his arms.

And Jensen _melted_ into it. 

Completely, like a heroine in an old black and white movie he felt his entire body slump onto Jared’s chest, only Jared’s hands at the base of his head keeping him upright, Jensen’s arms pathetically holding onto Jared’s hips having no strength to do anything else. The feel of Jared’s tongue sweeping inside his mouth, sweeping across his lips, claiming and owning and God Jensen had _never_ had a kiss like this before, and the deep moans he was letting out said as such. He was tasting what heaven must taste like. But Jared was moaning just as much, kissing him so deeply, keeping Jensen’s head so still as he completely devoured him, lips pressed so hard against Jensen’s it was like he wanted them to meld together.

But just as Jensen was getting his brain cells to function again, to actually kiss back, to get his own tongue inside the mouth he was going to be kissing again and again forever, as far as he was concerned, Jared pulled back.

Jensen could barely think, or breath, his lips still tingling at the sudden, deep attention. When he blearily opened his eyes, Jared was giving him a smile that could have re-lit a thousand dead suns.

“I’m in love with you too.”

Jensen gazed at him, so softly, and with so much love that time itself could have sped up and decades later they’d still be sitting there, neither of them realising how much time had passed. Jensen’s mind has ceased to function again, stuck like a damaged cassette tape, playing over and over again those words. _I’m in love with you too. I’m in love with you too._

The fluttering that had always been in his chest since he’d met Jared had gone. Each one had now burst into balls of the fluffiest cotton wool, that filled and expanded in his chest making him feel lighter than air itself. Jared loved him. Jared loved him back.

Stunningly gorgeous hot superstar Jared Padalecki was in love with Jensen Ackles, the luckiest damn car mechanic in the entire universe.

A curl, teased Jensen’s lips.

Without saying a word he tore his gaze away from Jared and looked up at the night sky, the sun now completely set. The constellations were almost unrecognisable at the sheer number of other stars that could be seen in this perfect, unpolluted sky, the arms of the milky way itself stretching out in a cloud of jewels and nebulas.

He looked back down to Jared, and nodded upwards, “Wanna take a look at the view?”

But Jared’s smile turned into a small grin, and he shook his head slowly, his eyes not leaving Jensen’s face for a second.

“Not really.”

He already had the view he wanted.

“You’re right.” Jensen said flippantly, smiling mischievously at him, “All those stars up there? The only star I wanna be looking at is you.”

Jared’s grin grew wider as the utter astonished amusement of that line sunk in, before he burst into a loud, uncontrollable laughter, “I can’t _believe_ that sentence just came out of your mouth.” He laughed, looking at Jensen with such brilliant light in his eyes.

“What?” Jensen grinned, another win for making him laugh, “You gonna complain you’ve landed yourself a cornily romantic boyfriend?”

Still laughing, Jared shook his head, “Oh I’m not complaining.”

He then cupped Jensen’s jaw to bring him in for another kiss, but this time Jensen was ready for it, his brain functioning again. He kissed him quick, leaning forward before Jared got to his lips so he could claim them quickly himself instead. His tongue slipped past through Jared’s little gasp, and it was only seconds before he had Jared needing to place an arm out behind himself on the hood of the impala, to steady himself as Jensen leaned into him. Jensen’s hands buried themselves in Jared’s long hair, tugging him closer still, and Jared definitely let out a welcoming moan at that tug which sent a bolt of arousal down through Jensen’s body. Jensen’s greedy tongue lavished every inch of that teasing mouth, and he had the most delicious, wanton groans escaping Jared now, sending more shivers down through both their bodies.

Jensen was absolutely in charge of this kiss.

When they parted, and Jensen was grinning a _very_ smug grin against the now very red-kissed lips of his famous lover, Jared could only manage a very breathless whisper.

“Definitely not complaining.”

Jensen didn’t know what it was that suddenly made his next thought come to mind. If it was looking at Jared’s flushed cheeks, those devoured lips, the hint of a darkness in his eyes, or something else, but a new idea suddenly came to him.

“Come on, I’m gonna take you someplace else. You’ve had an emotional evening, like…I think probably every emotion possible in a human being, and there’s place near here that is _very_ relaxing.”

“More relaxing than this?” Jared said, waving one hand out to the side, glancing for the first time at the sky and mouthing a quiet _wow_.

“Oh yeah, a lot more. Come on I’ll show ya!”

He stood up, holding out his hand for Jared to take.

“We only got through one beer each.” Jared said.

“We can have them at where we’re going. Trust me, you’re gonna love it.” He winked.

Jared looked to his hand, and smiled, taking it as Jensen helped him up, both reluctant to let that hand go again but once more needing to get into the car. Jensen grabbed the rest of the untouched beers and threw them on to the back seat again.

“I’ve gotta ask,” Jensen said, as the creaky doors opened both sides and they got into the car, slamming them shut, “when we first met, why did you agree to go out to dinner with me when I looked like the oily mess that I was?”

Jared gave him the sweetest smile, “Because you made me laugh.” He replied honestly, before the smile turned to his recognisable cheeky teasing one, “Plus I could still tell you were hot underneath all that oil.”

Jensen raised his eyebrows at that, that smug grin returning, “You think I’m hot?”

Jared laughed incredulously at him, “Yeah, I think you’re hot. You want your ego stroked some more?”

Jensen licked his lips, that smug grin happily staying where it was as he stared back out the windscreen and started the engine, “Not my ego.” He then froze in his seat the second he said it, Jared’s eyes going very, very wide. “…I said that out loud didn’t I?” Jensen asked, now mortified and definitely not looking at Jared at all.

He didn’t see Jared’s smirk, but he heard the purr in his voice.

“The nights still young.”

_Oh Lord help me…_

He didn’t dare look at him, really did not dare, so just cleared his throat, and turned the car, heading back onto the road. He didn’t dare look because if he did, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop the sudden itch in his fingers from grabbing onto that purring man and finding relief by mapping out his entire, naked body, right here in the impala. And fuck maybe that would be fine now but he wanted to show Jared this place, wanted him to forget all the stress he’d just put himself through and this next place was the perfect spot to do just that. But still, if he could feel himself barely able to handle a bit of casual flirting wordplay…

How hard would it be to handle the natural hot spring he was now driving to?

Emphasis, on the _hard_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter promises why this fic is rated explicit ;) Also this chapter was SO HARD TO WRITE please leave me more love! And don't forget, if you're enjoying this fic and would like to share it on tumblr, please use this link to reblog: https://starrose17.tumblr.com/post/642585259647631360


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